Marilyn’s Dirty Dozen

John Howell’s “Rule is as Rule Does” got me thinking about life and how we invent rules as we go. I make rules for myself and I follow them. But I hate rules, so the only rules I follow are mine, all born of hard lessons.

What rules? I’m glad you asked.

I’ve had a life in which the light at the end of the tunnel was always the headlight of an oncoming train. At one point, I got so stressed I could barely breathe. Something had to give if I was going to survive. I had to change. I had enough issues without stressing myself to death.

I began by getting a tattoo, a symbol of life. It was an acknowledgement of change, an acceptance of survival and the possibility I might have to do it again. The tattoo is a large phoenix in full flaming color. It’s one-of-a-kind, designed for me. I had it put toward the back of my left calf. I didn’t realize it was going to be quite so big, but I’ve come to like it. I was 57 when I got my only piece of body art. Tattoos are more permanent than most marriages, so if you’re going to get one, make it something you won’t find embarrassing later in life. Spelling and punctuation count. A typo in a tattoo is forever.

My left leg

It is difficult to shoot a picture of the lower back of ones left leg. Remember: Blue jeans leave ridges. If you want a picture of a your own body or some part of it, getting someone else to take the picture is better. Both terriers were really excited when I took off my jeans and socks. I’m pretty sure they thought it was a game. Bonnie figured she’d score a pair of socks but I outwitted her and put them up on the desk. Hah! Asking Garry to take the picture seemed weird and required too much explanation. So I snapped it myself. Awkwardly.

I never wrote my rules before, so this has been an interesting exercise. I don’t expect you to follow my rules, but they are pretty good ones. They grew out of decades of doing everything wrong, worrying myself into ulcers, simmering with anger at injustice, and getting frantic over every ecological or political crisis.

Marilyn’s Dirty Dozen

  1. Laugh often. Have friends who laugh with you.
  2. If you can’t fix it, don’t brood about it.
  3. Have pets. Cats, dogs, chickens, ferrets, bunnies, reptiles, bats or birds. Anything but spiders. I don’t like spiders.
  4. Don’t argue with stupid people.
  5. When you know you’re wrong, give up and apologize.
  6. Worrying is a waste of time. Whatever you are worried about, something else will happen.
  7. Staying angry at someone who wronged you hurts you, not them. They aren’t losing sleep over you. Forget it. Move on.
  8. Be a gracious winner. People may sympathize with a sore loser, but everyone hates a gloating winner.
  9. The path less traveled is often a dead-end. Before going down unmapped roads, make sure you can make u-turns in tight spaces.
  10. When you have a choice, do the right thing. When you have no good choices, do the best you can. If you have no choice, run for your life.
  11. Brutal honesty is inevitably more brutal than honest. Be kind.
  12. If you’re an artist, do your thing. Talking about it doesn’t count.

Live your life. You are unique. Celebrate!

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Weekly Writing Challenge: Papa Says Get Economical – Destiny in Under 500 Words

The Path

Life happens. We plan. We’re psyched. Announce our upcoming adventure! Oops. Sickness. Financing falls through. The place we were sure was ours sells to someone else. Job offer dissolves; budget cancelled. Harvard said what? Who’s writing this script?

People (who ARE those people?) say “everything happens for a reason.” I’m not so sanguine, but I know we follow our destiny, like it or not. The longer I live, the louder I hear that drumbeat. Plans go awry. If fate decrees we aren’t doing it, discussion over. Make new plans? They fall apart too. Different reasons, same result. Another plan anyone?

Years pass. The you making plans has changed. If you get what you want, it won’t be what you expect. Could be better, might be worse. Surely different.

Take it easy, go with the flow. Bring energy, enthusiasm and a sense of wonder to everything,  planned or not. Life’s unexpected, but needn’t be dull.

From womb to tomb, it’s a journey. We are forever becoming. The only thing we can always count on is us. Wherever, whatever, we bring ourselves to the party. The unplanned things were the most important. Never entirely fun. Rarely easy, but critical. Meaningful.

From 13 years old I wanted to go to Israel to live. Not visit. I had no interest in tourism. I wanted to live there, experience culture shock, be enveloped by foreignness. My first attempt to move there — with mom’s collusion — got cancelled when I chose college, a special B.A. program I thought wouldn’t let me in. I planned to study nursing in Israel. I was 16, just out of high school.

Twelve years later, I did move to Israel — on my own with my 9-year old son. No plans to study. I’d gotten my chance 5 years earlier, accepted into an exclusive Master’s program for administrative nursing. I dreamed of running free clinics for people without insurance.

Along came life. My first husband got cancer at 34. After I got up off the floor, I figured I needed an income, not a master’s. I found work as a writer; remained a writer my entire professional life. How would the lives entwined with mine have been changed if I’d moved to Israel in 1963? My son might not exist — or my granddaughter. I’d never have met Garry. I can’t imagine such a life.

This is where I should be. I know it, though not why. If I’d chosen, I’d be richer, healthier, living with better weather and no mortgage. But I wouldn’t trade for what I’ve got. Life’s not what I planned. It’s a challenge. But it’s good. I am where I should be. Destiny.

My dogs are happy. They never plan, except for the next biscuit. I’m with the dogs.

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Good Writing, Weak Plot – Anonymous Sources, by Mary Louise Kelly

Anonymous Sources - By Mary Louise Kelly

Gallery Books - Publication Date:  June 18, 2013

It is inconvenient to have mixed feelings about a book. It’s easier to review it when you love or hate it. I’m mired in ambivalence. Anonymous Sources is well-written and has oodles of potential. I enjoyed reading it yet I had real problems with it.

The main character, Alexandra James, is a newspaper reporter. As is the author. I’m married to a reporter, albeit television rather than print, so I’m familiar with the realities of the news business. Ms. Kelly is at home in that world and does a good job painting the landscape so that those unfamiliar with the news biz can relate to it.

Mary Louise Kelly, a veteran reporter who is the prototype for her fictional protagonist, brings a very impressive resume to this first novel. Her extensive experience in reporting the secret world of spies and security raised my expectations. Indeed, she has created a very attractive character in Alexandra James, the intrepid young reporter.

Although this is Ms. Kelly’s first novel, she is a writer. Her prose is elegant and smooth. She knows the places about which she writes and describes them with assurance and authority. We live in the Boston area where much of the action takes place; she never hits a false note — a refreshing change from many other books I’ve read. She captures dialogue well. Conversations sound natural. Her descriptive abilities extend to people. I feel I’d recognize her characters if I met them on the street. Her comfort with the tools of the trade, the techniques of her profession and the requirements of the job are spot on.

Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for plot and character development. I believed Alexandra James, the reporter. I didn’t believe Alexandra James, the person, the woman. Her motives seemed phony. They didn’t jibe with her credentials. How could she be so savvy and smart, but so naïve she couldn’t see a blatantly fake CIA shill when he was literally staring her in the face? The plot was driven by the central character’s ability to miss the obvious and do stupid stuff. Worse, she created the most blatant stereotyped Muslim extremists I’ve seen outside aTom Clancy novel — that’s not a compliment. Her upper class Brits are caricatures, an embarrassing collection of clichés. Considering her real world experience, I find this puzzling.

To move the plot forward, Ms. Kelly drops clues. Heavy, unsubtle clues, they land with a bang, not a whimper. Wham, here’s a clue for you. Did you get that? No? Well, here (crash!) is another, right on your instep so you can’t possibly miss it. Ouch.

If the quality of the plot was even close to the quality of prose, it would have been a great mystery (thriller?). As it was, it was readable and mediocre. The end was rushed, as if she’d hit a deadline and had to wrap it up before they wrenched the manuscript from her hands.

Featuring cardboard characters and a brilliant heroine too dumb to take minimal precautions when she knows her life is in danger, I didn’t buy it. I liked Alexandra and hoped through the entire book she would  become real to me. The potential was there. Protagonists with a secret, troubled past are de rigueur these days, but this protagonist’s dark secrets were contrived and rang false. It did nothing for the story or the character.

I hope Ms. Kelly steps back, does some thinking, and rebuilds her protagonist. Alexandra James could be a strong female character in a genre dominated by smart, macho guys, but dopey, troubled women. I’m rooting for the author and her protagonist. Mary Louise Kelly has the talent to do it right. Whether or not she will realize her potential we will have to wait and see.

If this is the first of a series — assuming the book sells well enough to generate interest in future books — Ms. Kelly needs to give us a story that keeps us guessing. Allows us to be surprised, maybe even shocked. Mysteries needs to be … well … mysterious. Thrillers should thrill us. Anonymous Sources was neither mysterious nor thrilling. The author needs to trust readers to follow clues and make discoveries without giving everything away up front.

The novel drops a lot of stitches. For example, her good (best?) friend Jess is introduced with considerable fanfare but plays no role in the story. There are no details of how the murders were carried out. What exactly happened? How did Thom Carlyle exit that window? It’s not easy to lift a full-grown man — dead weight — and push him through a small window single-handed. The bad guys are faceless and bodiless. Tall? Strong? Other than being Pakistani, you know close to nothing.

Who was behind the plot?  Merely naming the organization without populating it or really drawing us a picture of it isn’t enough. Scary bad guys are as important as heroes. The abrasive relationship between the protagonists and antagonists is critical. I wanted to know a lot more at the end than I did.

Mary Louise Kelly is talented. She writes great descriptions, excellent dialogue and is a fine storyteller. With a real plot and characters, she could produce great books. She surely has enough anecdotal material for dozens of books. Her skill with words is obvious. Here’s to her next — better –novel.

Anonymous Sources is available from Amazon and other sellers as a hardcover and in Kindle format.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Curves – Structure

Structures BW

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Curves – Arch Collegia

Arch Collegia

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Everything’s Fine Right Now …

Music triggers memory for me as nothing else can, transporting me backward like a time traveler to a world and a “me” I sometimes forget existed. I love this song. I like the words and melody, but mostly, I love it because it’s the song I sang to my son in the wee hours while I nursed him. Night and day lost any real meaning; sleep was catch-as-catch-can. My baby was tiny, hungry and needed feeding every couple of hours. Sleep could wait, my baby couldn’t.

96-BabyOandMe-HP

For the first few months, I almost never went to bed. My son lived on my hip, in my lap, next to me on the sofa … wedged just slightly between the cushions so he wouldn’t fall if I drifted off watching old movies, but ready to wake when he next needed feeding.

Mothering was less structured in 1969. I didn’t know there were rules I should follow, so I made it up as I went along. I was only 22, not much more than a child myself. Being a young mother was natural and unlike other things in my life, I didn’t over-think it. I was playful, young enough to enjoy playing patty cake with a giggling infant.

This was a good lullaby in 1969. It’s still a good lullaby, performed by John Kirkpatrick.

Everything’s Fine Right Now

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Who’s that knocking on my door?

Can’t see no-one right now.

Got my baby here by me,

can’t stop, no, no, not now.

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Oh, come a little closer to my breast,

I’ll tell you that you’re the one I really love the best,

and you don’t have to worry about any of the rest,

’cause everything’s fine right now.

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And you don’t have to talk and you don’t have to sing,

You don’t have to do nothing at all;

Just lie around and do as you please,

you don’t have far to fall.

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Oh, come a little closer to my breast,

I’ll tell you that you’re the one I really love the best,

and you don’t have to worry about any of the rest,

’cause everything’s fine right now.

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Oh, my, my, it looks kind of dark.

Looks like the night’s rolled on.

Best thing you do is just lie here by me,

of course only just until the dawn.

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Oh, come a little closer to my breast,

I’ll tell you that you’re the one I really love the best,

and you don’t have to worry about any of the rest,

’cause everything’s fine right now.

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The Olympus XZ-1 Review

Reblogged from atmtx photography blog:

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The Last of the Victorians - Austin, Texas

I added the Olympus XZ-1 to my collection of cameras back about 5 months ago. I was always itching for a premium point and shoot and when I found a spectacular deal, I jumped on the opportunity. And over the last 5 months, I have posted many entries about my experience with the Olympus XZ-1.

Read more… 1,497 more words

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I also love my quality point & shoot cameras though I also have a set of excellent micro 4/3 Olympus cameras and one Panasonic, too, with lenses. Yet as often as not, it's my Canon S100 that gets the nod because it's small, light and always at hand. I have heard only good things about the Olympus XZ-1 and if could think of any excuse, I'd probably buy one, too.

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Fleeting – Cartwheels

75-CartwheelsNK-002

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