When I add up the good and bad in my life, I often wonder how so many things done with such good intentions managed to turn out so poorly.
I’ve done stuff I thought was nice — helpful — only to have it backfire in a particularly horrible way. You know, like the couple you introduced? They got married (yay), but are now in the middle of a hideous divorce (boo). One way or the other, someone (probably everyone) is mad at me. I meant well.
Over all, I did the best I could. I tried to help. Maybe I didn’t succeed. Maybe my kindness turned out to be a massive disservice.
Only my dogs really appreciate me. They want what I can give. They don’t worry about consequences, side effects, or what might go wrong. The want a biscuit. A cuddle. A nice game of tug of war. They never want more than I can give. If I don’t get it right, they always forgive me. Immediately and never hold a grudge.
That’s the thing about dogs. And the problem with people.
Think Again — Tell us about a time you made a false assumption about a person or a place — how did they prove you wrong?
Between pretty good marriage one and fabulous marriage three, there was unspeakable marriage two.
To explain it by saying it seemed like a good idea at the time, is not entirely true. I knew from the get-go it was bad. Not only did I think it was bad, but everyone who knew me thought it was terrible. No one said “Follow your heart!” because it was clear whatever I was following, it wasn’t my heart — or my brain — but some part lower down and less rational.
Why did I marry someone obviously wrong for me?
I didn’t realize he was stupid. I thought he was just quiet. I had no experience with stupid people, after all. There were warnings. Like when his mother took me aside and said “You know, he isn’t really stupid. He just seems stupid.” His mother?
I overlooked the evil temper, ignorance and drug abuse. The lack of any ambition or profession. That he was courting me while his wife was dying of cancer. There were levels of wrong too many to count.
I figured he was merely a little stressed.
So, how did it work out? How do you think?
Some crazy risks are fun. Just make sure, before you take a mad plunge, the price you pay isn’t beyond your means. When your brain, friends and family, are screaming “DON’T DO IT?” Don’t. Do. It.
The real reason I did it? I was too proud to admit I was wrong. Pride will nail your ass every time.
“If your day-to-day responsibilities were taken care of and you could throw yourself completely behind a cause, what would it be?”
The answer is … I wouldn’t. In the immortal words of Phil Ochs, “I ain’t marchin’ anymore.”
I marched against war and for peace.
I marched for civil rights.
I campaigned for universal health care and free care for anyone who needs it.
I marched against evil and for justice all my life and now, it’s time for a younger generation with better feet and hips to do the marching. I’m not sure, after all that marching whether or not I even accomplished anything … other than to make denim a fashion fabric.
I have discovered that the world spins on its axis and night follows day whether or not I march.
Good luck. Take sandwiches and something to drink.