FOLLOW-UP: WORDPRESS CAME THROUGH!

I have gotten so used to customer disservice, it always surprises me when they live up to their promises.

Shortly after I posted 175,000 HITS AND A SERIOUS CHAT WITH WORD PRESS, my site became unavailable. WordPress said they were doing “routine server maintenance.”

wordpress1There’s nothing routine about having my site down in the middle of a Tuesday. Moreover, I found test files created by someone named Jason — coincidentally the name of the rep with whom I chatted at length yesterday — in my trash. When I tried to restore one (I’m nosy), it vanished. Poof. A test file. That is not part of regular maintenance. They had me offline four times for more than an hour. When I was back, my Add Media function was working the way it used to, more or less.

It doesn’t look the same. The graphical interface is new, but I can scroll and the keyword search brings up all or most of my pictures.

I would prefer the thumbnails to display data — file name, date, and maybe key words? But I’m delighted to be able to find pictures again.  I use a lot of pictures, not only as photographic posts, but as illustrations in stuff I write. Which is one reason it’s so important I be able to use stored images.

There’s a second, even more important, reason. I use 3 computers regularly and a tablet occasionally. I do not have access to all my photos on each machine. The only photographic central repository is Serendipity’s media library on WordPress.

This is why I was willing to pay for the premium package. It is customization plus bumped up storage and a domain. Other benefits include custom fonts and colors. I can customize any theme. I’ve never found a premium theme I like well enough to buy. I am too fond of changing my theme, sometimes just tweaking it, often switching templates. On a whim.

Writing is my vocation, but graphics are — always were — my hobby. To overuse an analogy, writing is dinner. Graphics are dessert. Being able to design my site, play with photos, fonts, widgets, headers — makes my day. My week.

WordPress came through. They couldn’t and probably won’t roll back the software changes, many of which I believe are misguided. They traded functionality for a prettier interface. In software, that’s always a bad trade. But I’m glad to get back most of the functionality I lost.

It’s possible my site was actually broken and needed repair. That it wasn’t software changes at the root of the problem, but something on my site had gone wrong. I’ll probably never know, but it’s okay. As long as it works, I’m happy.

I’ve invested more effort into launching and maintaining this website than I put into writing my book. I’ve refined its look, upgraded my skills as a writer and photographer. When I went to have my heart remodeled in March, I was as concerned this site be cared for as I was about the house or the bills. Serendipity has become central to my life. I would hate to lose it.

It keeps my brain from going soft by challenging me to write, take pictures, produce something creative. Every day, even when I’m tired, busy, or not feeling well. When you stop working a regular job, having something that forces you to think, create is important to good mental health. It’s a critical component of mine.

Thank you WordPress. You came through.

Thank you Jason. You kept your word.

A bit of my faith in the world has been restored. I needed that.

175,000 HITS AND A SERIOUS CHAT WITH WORD PRESS

Today I discovered that the new format for inserting media into a post has eliminated all the search tools that worked. If you are a photographer, this is disastrous. Those of you who work with pictures will see what I mean as soon as you try to use this “new, improved” version of the software.

INSERT MEDIA PAGE

It took me an hour today to find a photograph in my library. You cannot insert directly from the media library. All you can do is look around and see what’s there. It is dead storage. The alternative is uploading every picture and not re-using the pictures stored in your library. In which case, what’s the point of the library at all?

stats 175,000+

How ironic that yesterday I crossed the threshold and now have more than 175,000 hits.

For all practical purposes, WordPress is saying I’ve outgrown them. I’ve invested a huge amount of time and effort into this site and have no interest in moving. I think I’d rather give up blogging altogether. When a hobby becomes work and the fun goes away, what’s the point?

Here’s the conversation. Make of it what you will. I have trimmed it, but it’s still long. I dumped most of the repetitive stuff and cleaned it up for readability.


Marilyn – The new format for media (pictures) does not let me find pictures in my media library. I have 5200 photographs. When inserting media, even if I know the name of the picture, the date, the post in which it was used, I still can’t bring it up. The search option in “insert media” are non-existent. My only choice would be re-importing each image, not reusing them. Which negates the value of the library.

Jason – Hi there, I’m sorry. I was trying to read through everything. Give me just a minute. OK, I’m happy to help you with this.

Marilyn – There is no way now to find and insert pictures from my library. You have eliminated ALL of the search functions except the search box and it doesn’t work by date, doesn’t recognize the words, finds like five or six pictures out of hundreds. You’ve eliminated scrolling, so I’m effectively unable to use my media library at all. Exactly what was your goal?

Jason – I see what you mean about not being able to sort images in the media inserter.

Marilyn – It is useless for a photographer.

Jason – If you are finding you have outgrown the free hosted version of WordPress.com, you might consider looking at a self-hosted installation. There are plug-ins which you can install on self-hosted installations that are specifically designed to add search capabilities in the media insert section.

Marilyn – So you are telling me that I cannot access the files in my library — for which I pay a premium — and that the library is essentially useless?

Jason – No, I’m just trying to offer you additional solutions since you do not find the media insert search useful.

Marilyn – If I’m going to do that, I will dump WordPress. If I have to start over, I don’t need you. I can do that anywhere. I’m already paying you, why continue since you’ve made the previously useful tools worthless? It worked fine until yesterday. You changed it . And ruined it. Was this so that I would pay more money? If so, you miscalculated.

Jason – WordPress.com and WordPress.org are two different services, and I’m only associated to WordPress.com.

Marilyn – The entire reason for my being on WordPress was that you had the tools and I didn’t have to self-host.

Jason – May I ask a question?

Marilyn – Sure, ask away.

Jason – First, this is an actual question because I do want to help. Is the issue that you no longer have access to images by date, or does it have more to do with the search function not working well for you?

Marilyn – There is no search function on insert. Just a search box. You eliminated it everything else.

Jason – OK, now we are getting somewhere. I was under the impression it just wasn’t functioning as you expected. I apologize.

Marilyn – I knew the date the picture was used, its name, the post it was in. I still could not reuse it in a new post.

Jason – OK, that should not be the case. Most definitely. Give me one minute to take a look at a couple of the settings on your blog.

Marilyn – You have to open Add Post, then Add Media. There’s a search box and that’s it.

Jason – I’m looking through everything for you.

Marilyn – No date search. No search by post. No keywords search. All my media are jpg so that’s meaningless. And when things come up, there are no titles, no information, no data.

Jason – This is all very helpful information. The search does work by searching the title of the image. When you select an image, the details pertaining to that image appear on the right of the pop-up window (title, etc).

Marilyn – That’s assuming it gets found at all. And this information is not available in the search results, only if you actually click on the image. Otherwise, it’s just a thumbnail with pieces missing. Just bring back the tools that worked. Or make it possible to grab pictures from the library and insert them into post. Right now, the library is dead storage.

Jason – This was a recent update. I will relay this to the team right now. I can’t give you an ETA on when they will make changes, but I can promise that the issue will be brought up.

Marilyn – The whole point of paying for storage is you can use the stuff in storage. If I can’t use it, I’m paying for nothing. It’s like having a storage unit, but no key to get in. How do you make changes like this without opening a dialog with the people affected?

Jason – I don’t think there is a quick solution I can offer you. I apologize for this, but I will elevate this to our development team. I’m sorry I can’t offer an instant solution, but I will submit this ticket. Hopefully the developers can come up with something that provides the information you are looking for with your images. I hope that you understand only through constructive feedback can we continue to make WordPress.com a better environment for our users. Is there anything I can help you with regarding the services we do have available? I will submit the issue regarding the Media Insert function as soon as I am off this ticket. I will pass the feedback on to the developers. I hope you do give us a little time to resolve this issue, but understand if your business can’t wait. I would recommend taking a look at a self-hosted installation of WordPress. It would allow you to directly transfer your existing site to another host and not lose data. You can find information here: http://en.support.wordpress.com/moving-a-blog/#moving-to-wordpress-org

NOTE: I guess he didn’t believe I’m not a business.

Marilyn – I do not want to self-host. I am not a commercial site. This is supposed to be fun, a hobby. Not a job.

Jason – I am support dedicated to non-commercial bloggers. That said, I will pass your concerns on. If there is nothing else I can help you with, I will get this ticket created.

TECH SUPPORT – WHERE “BAD” IS THE NEW “GOOD”

Bad customer and technical support is the new good. You only think it’s bad. The problem is your attitude. Or so they’d have you think.

YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE

Death cust servAll the big technology companies are working hard to save a few bucks. The competition is fierce. Every penny counts. Since executives won’t accept lower pay nor will stockholders accept lower returns, it’s customers who fill the cost-cutting gap.

In the race to be the cheapest, tech companies stopped including chargers with devices. No manuals. No system software. No reinstallation software. Short power cords that don’t go from an outlet to a desktop. No connector for printers, speakers or whatever. Everything you need to finish setting up costs extra.

Customer service was the first thing to go. They hired people who don’t know anything, don’t understand or speak English. For all I know, they don’t understand or speak Spanish either. They aren’t trained, don’t know the products. And since manufacturers no longer include documentation, you don’t have the option of taking care of it yourself.

No company — not cameras, computers or software — includes documentation. I became obsolete years ago when the industry decided no one reads the manuals. So they fired the tech writers, put some generated information in an online PDF. They figured customer service techs would handle the fallout. But they don’t. Many of us would be happy to fix minor glitches but have no alternative to spending our time on the phone, frustrated and angry.

THE PLAN IN ACTION

You can’t say they didn’t have a plan. The big corporations indeed had a plan. A bad one.Customer Service waiting

It was so bad, it was immediately adopted by everyone. Globally.

It’s not a Microsoft problem, a Dell problem, or any company’s individual problem, though some are more awful than others and a few are notorious. It’s a cross-industry problem, affecting virtually every organization in this country.

Bad is the new good. Because good is remarkable.

WOULD IT KILL THEM TO INCLUDE A MANUAL?

CustServCartoon In every industry, business, service — service support stinks. It doesn’t matter where you go. You’ll get the same lousy service. It’s the great leveler.

Sometimes, you get lucky. The guy or gal you connect with actually knows the product and you think “Wow, that wasn’t bad! Maybe it’s improving.” The next time, it’s the same old, same old.

AMAZON – THE BRIGHT SPOT

There is a bright spot. Amazon and Audible (a subsidiary of Amazon) still have terrific customer service. That could change any time on the whim of a company exec, but for now, it’s great.

It’s no accident I shop through Amazon. They offer really good service. You have a problem, they go out of their way to make it right. You need to return something? They don’t question you, make you jump through hoops.

I wish I could buy everything from them.

FOR ONE CENT PLAIN

I got an email from AT&T. It was alarming. I was overdue on my bill! They were going to report me to collection agencies, send it to all those companies that decide whether or not you deserve to have a credit card or a mortgage.

I was surprised because I paid the bill. On time. Online. I know I did.

Obverse side of a 1990 issued US Penny. Pictur...

So, after resetting my password — it doesn’t matter how many times I set my password … the next time I go to AT&T’s website, I will have to do it again — I looked at my bill. Somehow, I had underpaid the bill by a penny. One cent. $00.01

In retribution for my oversight, AT&T is going to sic the collection agency on me. I deserve to pay big for this lapse in fiscal responsibility.Though I actually think it was their error, not mine, but let’s not quibble.

Paying the bill!

Paying the bill!

There are many battles to fight in life. One must pick amongst them lest one be overwhelmed. This giant corporation is going to destroy my credit for want of a penny. This is what happens when computers run the world and no people monitor what they are doing. I’m sure this was all automatically generated. I am equally certain if I’d called them, they would have cancelled the bill. AT&T has pretty good customer service. But that would take even more time and effort. I fondly believe my time, even retired, is worth more than a penny.

So I paid the bill. I wasn’t actually sure my bank would let me pay a one cent bill, but they did.

One cent. Just one cent. Mind boggling.

You must remember this … Techno Memories

I wonder if operating systems will be relevant a few years from now. Change has been a synonym for technology for the past 30 years or more. Change has driven the computer industry. Change is why we need to buy new software, hardware and operating systems.

Change can make things work better, but it’s not unusual to discover that your “upgrade” is a downgrade because what used to work no longer does. You pays your money, you takes your chances.

I grew to adulthood in a pre-computer society. I started working before cable TV, when encyclopedias were huge heavy sets of books and a computer was gigantic and needed a whole building for itself. It ran on punch cards and used machine languages — COBOL and FORTRAN. Decades later, personal computers were still just one step removed from a doorstop, floppy disks were 5-1/2 inches across and really flopped.

Those early machines (personal units, not mainframes) — I hesitate to call them computers — didn’t do much. They didn’t have hard drives. There was no software and no user-friendly interface. I don’t think the concept existed. No WYSIWYG. What you saw was a black screen with lurid green letters that made you feel like you were going blind after an hour or two.

Then everything changed. First there was Apple and then Windows. Windows didn’t work very well at first, but it got better. And even better.

In the beginning, there were different players in the marketplace and many more choices of operating system. Wang and DEC plus a crazy quilt of dedicated word processors and computers made by Commodore, Atari and many others. For a while, I had an Amstrad, a European machine that was almost a computer, kind an intelligent typewriter with a screen. It spit out paper.

Soon everything changed again. Computers started to really do stuff. Magic!

The speed of change accelerated. Technology was in hyperdrive. Then came a thing called the Internet. I had to buy and install Netscape to use it. After I got connected, there wasn’t much going on, but it was cool to just roam around. Mostly, you bumped into other people looking for something interesting. And then came AOL.

You could send electronic mail — email — if you had a friends with computers. You sent them messages over old copper telephone wires and everything happened in slow motion.

Just getting on to the Internet could take … well, let me put it this way. Turn on the computer. Turn on the modem. Go to the kitchen. Prepare dinner. Cook dinner. Serve dinner. Eat dinner. Clean up everything. By the time you got back to your computer, you might have actually managed to connect to something. Or not.

Then suddenly there were ISPs popping up all over the place. I got a super fast modem that ran at a whopping 2400 BPS! Imagine that. I worked in California from my home office in Boston. Cool! Telecommuting was the cat’s pajamas.

By the time my granddaughter was born in 1996, everybody had a computer or two. In her world, computers have always been fast, the Internet has always been the world’s shopping mall. Ebay and Amazon are no big deal.

At age three, she could run basic applications. For her, it’s like electricity was to us: something you use that is always there and always was. I’m sure she can’t imagine a world without it. It’s hard for me to remember that world and I certainly would not want to go back there.

For a brief interval, the rate of change slowed. We drew a collective breath and didn’t have to buy new computers for a couple of years. High speed connections arrived, though most home users didn’t have it right away. Everything kept getting faster and soon, with cable modems, no one could even remember what it was like to try to get onto the Internet using an old telephone line.

Every time you looked around, there was a  new generation of processors, bigger and faster hard drives, amazing super high-definition monitors and speaker systems to knock your socks off.

The Internet became a world-sized shopping mall and overnight, catalogue shopping became website cruising. The Internet was a world unto itself; I played bridge in real-time with a partner who lived on an island off the Pacific coast.

We have computers all over the house and what isn’t a computer is run by a computer or contains a mini computer … microwave ovens, smartphones, digital cameras and GPS units. I have three computers — in my office, living room and bedroom. My husband has two. My granddaughter has 3, but I think a couple of them don’t work any more. My son has two, my daughter in law has one but if she wants another, we have a spares and she can just grab one.

Eight computers are in daily use and only 5 people live here. I feel that we will soon need to get computers for each of the dogs. For all I know, whenever we are out, they go on-line and order stuff. I’m sure Bonnie the Scottie has at least a thousand Facebook friends.

A brief interruption of cable service leaves us wandering around like wraiths, without form or function. Five of the seven primary computers are less than 2 years old  so I figured we were set for a few years at least … but then everything started changing. Again.

Today, it’s all about “the cloud.” It’s still the same old Internet, but “cloud” is the “in” word for stuff stored on external servers. We’re going back to where we began, to using stripped down computers with no hard drives. Instead, everything is stored on someone else’s computer — out there. In the “cloud.” Our data might be anywhere. We have no way of knowing where it lives.

Am I the only one who finds this unnerving?

I can see advantages. When you eliminate memory sucking operating systems and cumbersome installed applications, your computer will run faster. Start-up is instantaneous because your computer doesn’t have to load services and applications. You don’t have to maintain and upgrade big expensive applications and volumes of data. You won’t need ever bigger hard drives, more memory and video RAM. You wind up with faster computers that are less expensive and easier to maintain. It’s a win-win, right?

Or is it?

How much do you trust your Internet service provider?

If your cable company has a bad day or the servers on which you store your critical data go down — even for a short while — you have nothing. As long as everything works like it’s supposed to, it’s hunky dory, but Murphy hasn’t left the building yet.

Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, and will do so at the worst possible time.

Maybe it’s my age showing, but I would prefer to have data on hard drives that I control. That I own.

The idea of entrusting everything —  from my photographs to the manuscript of my book — to an unknown server somewhere in the world scares the Hell out of me. What if the building in which the server storing my stuff burns down? Gets hit by a terrorist attack? Taken down by hackers? You have no way of knowing what country your data is in, how stable its government is, or how good an infrastructure it maintains. You financial data could be in Pakistan, Indonesia, or Kuala Lampur. Or next door.

Is there a compromise possible? Because when I think about entrusting everything to a cloud, I begin to twitch.

How many times have you been unable to access a web page because servers are busy or crashed? The times when their — or your — servers are inaccessible because of maintenance, repair or upgrade. Or those ubiquitous hackers. What if you need a critical piece of data from a server while its offline? It does happen.

My bank was hacked and they had to send me a new card. Several places I shop — Land’s End, for one — were hacked and I had to redo my accounts because they’d been compromised.

If your ISP is down, you are out of business. If you think your cable company has you by the throat now, how much worse will it be if everything you need to run your life and business is dependent on their services? Facebook and Google already have trouble keeping up with the demands on their resources. How will they manage when they have thousands of times more data and tens of millions of users depending on them for everything from email and applications to data retrieval?

Those of you who are old enough to remember the great Northeast power blackout in the mid 1960s know what I mean when I say that overloaded systems can go down like dominoes. I am all in favor working together with my fellow human beings throughout the world, but at a certain point, when does inter-dependency make us excessively vulnerable?

If you put the world’s eggs in one basket, if the basket falls, that’s a hell of a lot of broken eggs. That’s not an omelet — just a mess.

I worked for more than 35 years in development. That was my world and although I’m not an engineer or developer, I know what’s behind a user interface. For example, modern word processors embed commands in text, but behind the interface, it’s entering the same commands I entered directly on the huge IBM mainframe by hand. It’s faster and prettier now. You get to see how your document will look when it’s printed, but it’s nothing but an elegant wrapping on an old familiar box.

My concern is not the graphical user interface (GUI) that overlays our computer (regardless of operating system), but that these new operating systems are designed to work with “The Cloud” … a meaningless term that represents servers located anywhere and everywhere. We don’t have to know where they are; they’re in the Cloud … kind of like Angels and God. We are being herded toward using external storage and we aren’t supposed to be alarmed that we have no control over it.

We use services consisting of server farms located somewhere on the planet. There is where we store our bank records, personal correspondence, photographs … everything. We use these servers directly when we use “the cloud,” but we also use it indirectly because that’s where our bank, our vendors, the places from which we buy goods and services store their data … or more to the point, our data as it pertains to them.

We assume the people from whom server space is leased are dependable, not criminals looking to steal identities and data … and their infrastructure is secure and won’t collapse from a power outage or hacker attack. And finally, we trust our ISPs to deliver the goods, keep us online so we can access the stuff we need.

Charter Communications is my cable company and controls my high-speed internet access, as well as my TV and telephone. I have difficulty controlling the wave of rage I feel when I think about them. How do you feel about your cable company, eh?

Even if the servers that store your stuff are safe, you can’t get there without a high-speed connection and that, my friends, means your local ISP … cable, telephone, satellite, whatever you use. They already have you by the short hairs. You are not independent and you rely on their services. Does that sound like a great idea? It makes me sweaty and itchy.

Anybody anywhere can build a server farm. It’s a great business that requires a bunch of servers, a climate controlled place to put them, and a few IT people to tend the equipment.

Where are these places? Most are in countries whose government is, by any standards, unstable — possibly dangerously so. How good is the infrastructure? Are they in the middle of a war? Are their electrical generating facilities dependable or sufficient? What protection against hackers do they provide? Are they trustworthy? They could as easily be a bunch of criminals and the data they collect is the mother lode.

I’m not comfy with the idea of entrusting a lifetime of my work to unknown, nameless entities. Google uses servers everywhere, as does Amazon. So does every other “cloud” provider. Your data and mine is unlikely to be in one place, either. It is broken into many pieces that are stored wherever it went when you saved it. You will not know and cannot discover where your data is, was, or will be.

I won’t get into how links and pointers let us retrieve data, but the potential for error, loss, and piracy is huge. So, I’m not buying into the Cloud, at least not for anything that really matters to me. Call me cynical, even paranoid … but I think that the computer-using public is buying snake oil. I want my stuff on my own drives. Use the “Cloud,” whatever it really is. But have good, dependable external drives too.

Or, as the Arabs say, trust in God, but tie your camel.

For The Promptless – Ostranenie: Reflections in Water

July 17, 2013

75-RiverReflectionsNK-1

Sitting by the river, and instead of the normal reflections, ripple, movement of the water, there was this. If you look very carefully, you can see the shapes of distorted trees and others natural items along the shore. What caused the strange reflections, I don’t know. Never seen them before or since.

75-RiverReflectionsNK-2

FOR THE PROMPTLESS: BRAND – Charter (Name Brand) the Cloud

Promptless Branding

It started yesterday evening, but I didn’t get to really thinking about it until this morning. I got up a lot earlier than I needed to. My husband was trying to be quiet. But I’m a light sleeper and I heard him tiptoeing around the bedroom and realized I was hearing Heart and Soul in my head. Not a good sign.

I was humming it while pouring my coffee. It just kept looping until I wanted to scream at myself to shut up. I have an Energizer Bunny (brand name) brain that keeps going and going and going.

Philco Clock Radio CD

When My Brain is unhappy it wants me to hum. My mother hummed constantly, probably for the same reason I do. It’s calming. I do it when I’m worried, even when I’m angry. I don’t choose the song; it chooses itself. Apparently humming inane tunes calms the Brain while annoying me. Never mind. Anything to make Brain happy.

The problem? A series of events starting when, a few minutes after midnight, Charter Communications (brand name) went down. Charter (brand name) is a wretched organization. It controls our lives by controlling our connectivity including the telephone and TV. It has an unbreakable monopoly in our area, a position it uses to charge exorbitant prices while doing a genuinely inept job and providing horrible service.

Charter’s (brand name) signal has been erratic for at least a week, but now, it was gone. No Internet. No telephone. Barely television. I heaved a sigh. After expelling three small dogs and a collie from my lap I stood up, groaned to let the world know how much I suffer (I don’t believe in silent suffering). And went to reboot The Modem, hub of my universe.

75-ModemAndRouter-37

I rebooted. Which is to say I unplugged it, counted, plugged it back in and waited for the lights to come on. For the magic to happen. The lights flickered then faded. So I did it again, counting longer and a bit slower while unplugging and replugging the router too.

Same result. I looked around for something else to do. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything. I didn’t know if the problem was hardware or Charter (brand name) or some bizarre issue I hadn’t yet thought of. The router and modem are both Cisco (brand name) and not old. Until now, totally dependable.

When things go wrong with techno stuff, I have Dark Thoughts. I know too much but not enough. If the modem won’t reboot, is it dead? How long will it take to get a new one? Installed? Dark Thoughts indeed.

To prove I had not failed in my duty as 24/7 tech support for the household’s 12 computers (five people, 12 computers including three tablets but not counting iPods (brand name), iPhones (brand name) and other small WiFi-based devices such as the Roku (brand name). I turned off all the computers on this floor (seven) and then tried rebooting the modem again. Because amidst the many messages telling me to reboot the modem, I’d gotten one that said two computers were trying to use the same IP address and I should talk to the administrator (me). I figured if I rebooted all the computers, they’d do whatever it is they do and that would take care of the IP problem, if indeed there was one (there wasn’t).

Panic. Fear. Trembling. I starting humming loudly. Heart and Soul. Heart and Soul. I fell in love with you. Heart and Soul.

75-ModemAndRouter-30

I do not panic quickly or easily. There are two things on earth which do it to me. Finding a spider in my bed and losing my WiFi connection. Otherwise, I’m pretty level-headed. I have put out fires including putting out a friend in flames. I have dealt with a husband having a heart attack and a child having a seizure without panicking. But losing WiFi? Irrational, frantic, don’t-talk-to-me-I’m-a-crazy-person panic.

I figured I ought to call Charter (brand name), except how could I get their telephone number without the computer? Then I thought I might have it in the address book of my iPhone (brand name). Which made me wonder when I’d last charged the phone (last week?). Where is the phone? I couldn’t do what I usually do and call it from the house phone because we didn’t have a house phone. No cable. No modem. No signal.

I found the phone, remarkably enough right where it belonged. Hmm. Imagine that. I plugged it into life support (electricity) and called Charter (brand name). I hate calling Charter (brand name). I hate Charter’s (brand name) so-called customer service. I know everyone hates their cable company but that’s not comforting. The whole “misery loves company” thing eludes me. Miserable company doesn’t make me happier. It just reminds me I’m miserable.

I called Charter (brand name).

After I got through the robot wall of prompts (press 1 or 2 or 7 or 9 or STAR to do what?) and finally got a person by shouting “AGENT, AGENT, AGENT” into the handset until the robot said “Oh FINE, I’ll connect you with an agent.”

And the agent said “Oh, yes, uh huh. There’s an outage. A big one. Your whole area is out.”

She didn’t seem to find this alarming. She had no idea how long it will take to fix. I found that alarming. “Would you like us to call you with updates?”

I said my phone was out and all I had was a cell phone. She offered to call my cell phone. I said sure, why not because by then, everything would be fixed and who would care anyhow? She said “Have a nice evening and thank you for using Charter Communications (brand name).”

I was humming Heart and Soul very loudly and rocking.

I gave up and went to bed. I couldn’t read the book I wanted on my Kindle (brand name) because it’s somewhere in Amazon’s (brand name) cloud. I can’t get it delivered without WiFi. It got me thinking (again) about abandoning internal and external hard drives in favor of putting everything in The Mythical Cloud. How dangerous and stupid it is. BECAUSE THERE IS NO CLOUD.

There are just lots of huge servers all over the world storing your data. When we put our stuff and our faith in “the cloud,” we are actually handing our stuff over to corporate servers. You and me and everyone else will be at the mercy of whoever owns the servers. How honest are they or their employees? How safe is your data? Who manages the servers? And where are they? Pakistan? Russia? Kyrgyzstan? China? Anyone can run a server farm anywhere without any kind of license. You just need a climate controlled space and equipment.

After we’ve given up control of our files, photos, music, books and videos, we need a high-speed data line and we need it all the time. If you think you are dependent on the company which provides your connectivity now, after you are locked into The Cloud, that dependency rises to a whole new level. Too high for me.

Still feel like trusting everything to the Cloud? It’s a scam and we’re buying it. As soon as enough of us are in their clutches, the “free cloud storage” won’t be free. Worse, the big brand software companies — Adobe (brand name) Microsoft (brand name) and many more — are already refusing to sell their products outright. We will have to rent from them and it isn’t cheap. How does $49/month for Photoshop (brand name) sound to you? Sounds like a big piece of my fixed income to me.

We won’t own anything, not our files, software, nothing. In addition to the mega-bill we already pay for cable or other high-speed service, we’ll pay a monthly fee for each piece of software. Our cost of living will keep going up, but not our incomes.

Remember, you heard it here on Serendipity (brand name).