Squirrel

CRAZED SQUIRREL DEFEATED BY BAVARIAN CREME (FILM AT 11)

The Daily Post offered this prompt today:

Under the Snow – You were caught in an avalanche. To be rescued, you need to make it through the night. What thought(s) would give you the strength to go through such a scary, dangerous situation?

But … Bill Brown at Evil Squirrel’s Nest proffered this juicy idea:

The last thing you see before you wake up in the hospital!

The last thing you saw before you woke up in the hospital!

You’re out on the street one day minding your own business… perhaps humming your favorite Steely Dan song or taking random pictures for a blog post.  All of a sudden, from out of nowhere, a wild, ferocious squirrel starts barreling towards you with a nut in his mouth!!!  What do you do!?!?!?

Seriously, what choice did I have? Squirrel 1, WordPress 0.

The competition was too unfair. WordPress could never compete with this kind of sheer brilliance … so I had to write about crazed squirrel attackers bearing nuts.


Should I run? Try to hide? What thoughts run through my head?

{Thoughts …}

My insurance company is not going to believe this.

My husband is not going to believe this.

I don’t believe this.

This will make a great post on my blog.

Ow. Get your pointy little teeth out of my leg you wretched fur piece. I will turn you into a muff! What do you mean “what’s a muff?”

Thinking quickly (because I do not wish to have my leg chewed off by a squirrel on Boston Common), I reach into a greasy paper bag and hand its contents over to my squirrely nut case: “Here, have a doughnut. Now, isn’t that better than some tasteless acorn?”

Crazed squirrel, calmed by the sudden onrush of calories, fat, and mm Good Bavarian crème drags the doughnut to the nearest tree where, for the next several hours, he attempts to haul it up the trunk to the safety of branches above.

With each attempt, he is forced to consume another bite until eventually, bloated, sated, full of cholesterol, and calories, he lies in a semi stupor on the grass. It’s a well-deserved nap for a valiant squirrel who fought the good fight, but lost to a Bavarian crème doughnut. As so many of us have before and will again.

Good night Sweet Prince.

Back in the city again …

Before we became country mice, we were city rats. Garry lived in Boston, downtown in Government Center, for 20 years, then another 10 in Roxbury. I lived in Jerusalem for 9 years, Boston for 3, then Roxbury (which is really part of Boston) for 10 … and then we took our show on the road and moved out here.

It is a bigger different than mere geography. It’s a completely different ambiance, a different texture. Ironically, although the air is cleaner, almost completely free of industrial pollutants, it is thick with pollen and dust. My asthma is far worse out here in the country among the trees and grasses than it ever was in town with the car fumes and chimney soot and all. That, and of course all the dog hair we have in the air and everywhere.

It’s pretty out here. We’ve got the river and the canal, waterfalls everywhere you look. Autumn, when we don’t get rained out, is glorious and you can stop at farm stands and get fresh organic veggies and fruits any time they are in season. We’ve got cows and horses, goats and a dizzying array of wildlife.

Deer, raccoon, the cheekiest chipmunks you’ve ever met … and then there are bats, rats, an infinite number of field mice. A bobcat with glow-in-the-dark eyes and coyotes that look like big friendly dogs. Nasty fishers with coats like mink and when the bobcat hasn’t eaten them all, rabbits. Squirrels, but fewer than there used to be before the bobcats. They are small but mighty hunters.

Irony again: the biggest, nastiest raccoon I ever met was on Beacon Hill, in our back walled garden. He was big, fat, and he wasn’t taking any crap from me. He informed me that the back patio belonged to him and I was disinclined to argue the point.

I never went back there again. At least the raccoons around here stay in their own part of town, or woods.

Early Color

There’s a hint of autumn in the air. Yesterday, we went to friends and barbecued and ate … and I wore sandals and my feet were cold. It’s the beginning. Summer isn’t officially over, but really, it’s over.

We can feel it. The oak trees are shedding. The squirrels are busy.

On the deck, the leaves are starting to pile up. Mostly oak, bronze and a bit of yellow, yet they are starting to fall from the trees and soon we’ll be hip deep in leaves and acorns.

Time to park the cars where falling acorns can’t make dents in the roofs. When the acorns are fat, the winter is usually long and hard. The acorns are very fat this year.

I took some pictures, there and a few more at home. It’s starting. The first hue is gold and some dark reds.

The flowers are gone to seed. A last few straggling roses are trying to bloom one last time.

lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown

Reflections on Life through poetry, essays and photos

Living Life Day by Day ...

... and coming up for air

soul n spirit

seeking for happiness in the psalms of life......

Empty Nest, Full Life

Formerly: PostDepartumDepression Thoughts about the "post Mommy" years of life

Talking Horror

Movie Reviews

So, I Read This Book Today

Editing, Proofreading, Reviewing and Other Stuff

genusrosa

words. matter.

The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap

A topnotch WordPress.com site

Tish Farrell

Writer on the Edge

CHANDLER SWAIN REVIEWS

Not just another WordPress.com site, but an extraordinary place to spend a weekend, grill a cheese sandwich and watch a film to improve your life and stimulate a few of the grey cells.

tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice

Mostly unfinished stories primarily produced as a direct result of my association with the OC Writers Guild

I'm a Writer, Yes I Am

Martha Ann Kennedy's Blog

Theme Showcase

Find the perfect theme for your blog.

Stuff my dog taught me

and stuff I'm figuring out on my own

Evelyne Holingue

Chronicles, Stories & Books by a French-American Writer

Godless Cranium

Random musings of a godless heathen

Surrounded By Imbeciles

Inside the Mind of a History Professor

THE WRITE PLACE...

...to build a community. Share Patti Hall's journey ...

Enchanted Seashells...Confessions of a Tugboat Captain's Wife

Beguiling pearls of wit, wisdom, and whimsy-with attitude

Evil Squirrel's Nest

Where all the cool squirrels hang out!

Realm of the Lone Grey Squirrel

Viewing the World Through the Observation of Squirrels

myguiltypleasures

welcome to my past, present and future mixed with whatever pops up

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 7,539 other followers

%d bloggers like this: