Turkeygeddon: The Thirteen Best Turkey Attack Videos

See on Scoop.itIn and About the News

Turkeys: traditional holiday roast, are some bad-ass birds. Turkey attacks are apparently quite common: wild turkey populations are on the rise, with around 3 million of them in the US. According to experts, birds that “get accustomed to suburban life apparently start to see people as other turkeys” and naturally defend their turf.

Should you have the misfortune to happen upon a vicious turkey, here are some tips gleaned from the videos below: sticks are a good defense. Mailmen are not, as turkeys are known to “have something against the US Postal Service.” Hide in your car. Do not taunt them. Try to appear less like a rival turkey. If you’re dealing with a group of turkeys — called a rafter, a gang, or, less formally, a gobble — well, good luck.

Last year was all about the best deep-fried turkey disaster videos, but here now, the thirteen best turkey attacks videos around. Ordered by the level of terror — from a little scary to absolutely terrifying.

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Great videos for your Thanksgiving enlightenment.

On a personal note: You can’t make this stuff up. Last summer,  a turkey attacked me while I was in my car. They don’t call them turkeys for nothing. They’ll take on anyone or anything! Watch the skies, Keep watching the skies!!

See on eater.com



Categories: Animals, Holidays, Humor, Nature, News

Tags: , , , , , , ,

2 replies

  1. Damn. They killed it instead of trapping and releasing it elsewhere. This behavior’s all about male dominance — it happens with birds of all feather — and can sometimes be corrected by covering glass at their eye level with paper or plastic so they can’t see their reflection. Once in southern Illinois farmland I tried to get Animal Control to come rescue a baby skunk, but they basically laughed at me: “Around here,” they said, “we call them VARMINTS.”

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    • Got a flash for you. The moronic bird that thought she would challenge me and my PT cruiser was a lady bird. Well female anyhow. She was no lady.

      Wild turkeys are agressive. Their stupidity is exceeded only by their brainless determination to attack anything and everything. Bad tempered, but tasty. They do not have a grip on the “turkey versus motor vehicle = Tukey 0, Vehicle 1” thing. Or, as the old farmer said as we sat there in our car and truck respectively, “It just takes one tire …”

      For reasons historical and sentimental, this isn’t a big “shoot’em, stuff’em and hang’em on the wall” kind of community. We are loathe to kill things with feathers, fur or 4 legs.

      The wild turkeys in this area are numerous, stupid and nasty. Not quite as big as the southwest variant, but they are very closly related and interbreed where the ranges overlap. Wherever they live, they are mean as hell, convinced they are the biggest, baddest birdies to wander the roads.

      People feed them, so they are unafraid of us, cars, dogs, trucks or anything else. They do not run across roads. They stroll. Leisurely. Slowly. If you honk at them, they stop, glare at you, and challenge you to a duel, leaving you sitting there wondering why you don’t convert the feathered asshole into road kill. But we don’t. We wait, sometimes, for half an hour or more with cars piling up in both directions.

      Our national bird indeed. I wonder how well Franklin knew the local turkeys? I’m not sure if he was making his version of a joke or not.

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