The “new” Lone Ranger opens today, but the reviews are already in. In newspapers around the world, the reviews are appalling. Really bad. Not a little bad. Seriously terrible. I had no plans to see it anyway, so these reviews merely confirmed my expectations.
The Lone Ranger Panned and Predicted to be Box Office Poison by Mike Smith gives a pretty good summary of the reviews to date. It’s exactly what I expected. I would have preferred to be wrong. Given the Johnny Depp factor, I expected a travesty and it appears we got one.
Seeing the movie would desecrate the memory of my first true love. If I don’t see it, at least I have my memories.
From my first earliest encounter with The Masked Man and his Faithful Companion, I was in love. There were times when it was unclear whether I loved the horse or the rider. I think Silver had an edge, but I yearned for the both.
To satisfy my passion and because I grew up when wallpaper was something glued to walls, I had Lone Ranger and Tonto in my bedroom. Life was not easy for me, but I had the daring and resourceful masked rider of the plains all around me. It helped me through the really dark times.
Eventually I grew up and out of my wallpaper, but it did not end my allegiance to The Masked Man. Even now, I’ll happily watch the old reruns. Silly? Maybe. But kindly, with some dignity allowed to the characters.
And, whatever else you could say about the show, they managed to cast a real Native American as (gasp) a Native American! More than half a century later, we get Johnny Depp? That’s the best we can do?
Remakes don’t have to be awful, even though they usually are. There have been remakes that are better than the originals. I can name several off the top of my head and probably so can you. It’s not impossible but it requires studios to make an effort to produce quality films. To get a good script and assemble a cast that can do it justice. It’s not that hard to make good movies. Good script, good actors, competent director. Voila! A good movie. They just don’t make a real effort.
My initial delight at learning Disney was making a new Lone Ranger movie changed to dread when I realized Johnny Depp was playing Tonto. We awaited the release of trailer of the new “Lone Ranger” with foreboding. We were right to worry.
We watched the trailer. After it ended, silence enveloped us. Garry and I, wrapped in our individual thoughts, sat for a while. Thinking. Finally, I turned to Garry and said: “Let’s wait till it comes to cable.”
He pondered that for a minute or two. “No, he said. “Let’s just wait.”
- There Come a Time, Kemosabe, When Johnny Depp Speak Like ‘Indian’ in Lone Ranger Trailer [Lone Ranger] (jezebel.com)
- … those thrilling days of yesteryear … (myfavoritewesterns.com)
- Hollywood never learns: more “redface” with “The Lone Ranger” Disney movie (aucourant.ws)
- Review: Who was that masked man? Who cares (boston.com)
- Who is that Masked Man? Not the one you remember (newsobserver.com)
- Who was the masked man anyway? (annikisbookcase.com)
- ‘The Lone Ranger’ reboot goes goofy and grim (triblive.com)
- In ‘The Lone Ranger,’ Tonto Takes Center Stage – NYTimes.com (coralvillecourier.typepad.com)