I used to think about tossing it all in and getting an RV — just rolling from place to place, sleeping wherever we landed. Waking up to watch the sun rise atop the Rockies, or something like that. The problem is, I have this annoying brain. It doesn’t let me just fantasize. It wants the details. It wants a workable plan. So I don’t fantasize. I obsess. About the logistics of the thing. I start making charts, budgets, schedules.
Rolling into Gettysburg. Goal, a comfy motel with WiFi, cable TV and lots of hot water. A good restaurant too.
The price of gasoline. I mean, do you know how much it costs to run an RV? Holy smoke! It’s not a question of how many miles to the gallon. More like how many gallons to the mile. I have friends who own a yacht, but they almost never go anywhere. They hang out in the marina because it cost too much to actually go anywhere in the boat. I’m not arguing with the joy of yachting, or RV-ing, but seriously — that’s mucho dinero.
How much can I fit into the trunk? And about those dogs?
Then, there are the dogs. There we are, on the open highway, tooling along, watching the gas gauge drop and the dogs are restless. Do they really need to do something? Or are they just messing with us? Who knows? Do we want to take the chance? Our dogs are smart enough to know if they exhibit certain behaviors, they are going to get what they want and I can see us never making much progress because the dogs think it’s a real hoot to get us to stop everything and let them run around. Even at 3 in the morning when we’ve just fallen asleep.
With no doggy door, no fenced yard, it’s us, the dogs and leashes, standing there, whining “Please, go already, it’s cold, I’m tired, I want to go to bed,” while Bonnie laughs at us as only a Scottie can.
Now a train, that might be okay. Except how long can you stay aboard? Really? And what about those dogs?
And then … well … there are the bathrooms. My husband has a thing about the bathroom. He would be okay for a few days, but then … he wants a nice, comfortable room with a spacious shower and unlimited hot water. A place to sit, ponder and all the rest. Not squinched into a little tiny airline-size nook (or cranny? does anyone know the difference?), but room to spread out, leisurely. And me? While he’s doing his leisurely morning ablutions, what the hell am I doing? Beating the bushes for a bit of privacy where it isn’t full of poison ivy?
But wait. You gotta pump out the head. You gotta fill the water tanks. You need to hook up to some electricity. Buy groceries. Dog food. Cook meals in that tiny little galley. I stopped loving meal preparation about a decade ago. Am I going to rediscover the joy of cooking in the galley of an RV? Why do I doubt that?
And WiFi? Without getting complicated, Garry has bathroom issues. I have WiFi issues. Take away my Internet connection and I will probably have a psychotic break.
Who is going to water the plants?
My head is reeling. I WANT TO GO HOME TO MY COMFORTABLE BED. I’m not a stone and I don’t roll. I limp. And hey, I have a doctor’s appointment. I’m tired of rolling. I want my recliner. I want my computers, my big screen television, my huge oak desk.
I want my desk. My computer. My big monitor. My chair.
Roll, roll ye stones. But I don’t think I’ll be rolling with you. Nice but not for me. Nope. Sorry, the gypsy life passed me by. Send postcards!
Oh, thank you Lord. My bed! I need my bed!
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Categories: Computers, Home, Humor, Personal, Pets, Technology, Transportation, Travel, Vacation
SERENDIPITY - SEEKING INTELLIGENT LIFE ON EARTH 
I will always have wanderlust but life has a way of bringing this to a halt!
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Reality is the thing that stops me. Romance is lovely, but who’s going to do the cooking?
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Take out rules the world in most any society !
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Right you are, my friend. And that’s JUST what we are doing tonight. The only question is — (trumpets) — from where?
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Trumpets pr crumpets ? : )
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Both.
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I’m the same – it all sounds very adventurous and romantic and whatever until you start thinking about all the details. Then it all falls apart in my head!
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Some of us just can’t get past the whole reality thing!
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I found that very entertaining and just a little concerning! We are about to do a week in an RV as we go to our first Festival! I know I will be lost without my wifi – I write my blog every day and read others as much as I can. Maybe we’ll be lucky and find some on the way as I know I will get very restless – and all that about the shower, the loo, the bed – at least we don’t have the dogs!
We WILL have fun! 🙂
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Garry says he wouldn’t last a week. I’d plan on stopping at a decent motel every other night to at least a proper shower and use the internet. Go to a restaurant. Some (most??) RV parks surely have WiFi, but while you are on the road, you won’t have any connection. Which is okay if you are moving, but when you stop … when any of us stop … we want to connect. Take a shower. Have a decent meal. I hate the thought of having to start with shopping, then cooking, then cleaning up. That, to me, isn’t a vacation. It’s doing what I always do, but in the most inconveninet possible setting. Maybe I’m just a stick in the mud, but I want my vacations to be easier than my life at home. When they aren’t, is it a vacation? If you don’t demand of yourself that you do EVERYTHING in the RV, you’ll probably have more fun. Transportation with benefits. Maybe you’ll meet really cool people along the way. Party time?
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VERY well-written and a strong yet entertaining argument against my inner wanderlust!
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I have wanderlust. I do. I traveled a lot. But I always knew I would eventually go home and I knew where home was! If someone else would take care of all those nasty details … shopping, bills, cooking, dog walking, planning. You know. Life. Life without the responsibility. Otherwise, I want my bed 🙂 I will wander. Virtually.
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Don’t think I’m cut out to be a road warrior or cattle drover. I’ll watch the movies or read the books and live those adventures vicariously. Paid my dues during my working years which weren’t always glamorous – give or take a lie or two.
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I week in a cabin in Maine with screens, a gas range, refrigerator and the big lake to bathe in? Fine. Life in an RV? Not really. A week’s vacation? Cool. A lifetime. NOooo. I want my BED.
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