Me, A-Rod and Raw Onion

The Major League Baseball logo.

I have good days and bad. This wasn’t an especially good one. Not after my doctor called to mention in addition to the bad mitral valve, I have significant cardiomyopathy. Keep calm, stay hydrated and blog on. So here I am. Blogging on.

The good news? I’m unlikely to die of cancer. My heart will probably give out first.

The bad news? I think my career in professional baseball is over.

The A-Rod show has come at a perfect time for me, if not for MLB. It’s such high entertainment it has successfully distracted me from what would otherwise be a full descent into a puddle of self-pity.

Me and A-Fraud. Except that I never got the $275,000,000 contract or took all those performance enhancing drugs, now given this cool nickname of PEDs. You’d think if I’m going to have all the health issues, I could at least have had fun and gotten paid big bucks too. Like Alex baby.

A-Rod was on television — all over television — explaining how this has been the worst year of his life. Poor guy. He’s been humiliated by cheating and lying while getting paid staggering sums of money. He’s had health issues, but I’ll swap him any day of the week. Talk about clueless. He genuinely thinks we should feel sorry for him, not because of what he did, but because — take a deep breath — HE GOT CAUGHT! How embarrassing. What could be worse than having to publicly admit to wrong-doing when you’ve actually done wrong? But not to worry. Mr. Rodriguez is not admitting to anything by golly. He’s being picked on by Major League Baseball and the Yankees. He’s a victim, not a bad guy! Even if you don’t follow sports, this is one of those stories that has got to leave you with your jaw hanging.

Watching A-Rod be sincere on TV last night took my breath away. He used the same degree of sincerity as he did when he denied having taken steroids or even being tempted to take them. I loved that line. That is the definition of chutzpah and he’s not even Jewish. He said we should not judge him on his past. Let’s just move forward and trust him because he is a better man, a changed man, an honorable guy who loves baseball. And his paycheck. He’s had a hard time. (Bite lower lip, look victimized.)

That’s like a recidivist explaining to a jury that all his crimes are in the past. He promises not to hold up any more banks. Can’t we all forgive, forget and give him the fresh start he deserves?

Yeah, right. I have a bridge to sell.

While I’m working on recovering my sense of humor, I’m waiting for A-Rod’s next press conference. Garry and I were both surprised he didn’t produce a single tear. My husband feels that for $275,000,000 he should be able to cry on cue. I wondered how come he didn’t palm a piece of raw onion. A tear would have sealed the deal.

Personally, I have not found that crying helps much, but I don’t get press conferences. Just doctor appointments.



Categories: Baseball, Health, Humor, Legal Matters, Life, Media, Show Business, Sports

Tags: , , , , , ,

11 replies

  1. Here’s hoping A-Fraud goes away SOONER rather than later! Baseball still means a LOT to some of us despite all the liars and cheats who are getting the headlines.

    Like

  2. God really does look out for drunks and fools. A Rod definitely falls into the “fools” category big time. Poor man has to suffer with his measly 270,000,000.00 contract and his own horrible suffering BECAUSE HE GOT CAUGHT DOING WRONG. I agree, a tear wouldn’t have done much for me either. LOSER! or is that WINNER? He got off easy.

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  3. A wealthy A-fraud.
    Sucks when people can get away with wrongdoing & still live the life.
    Woe is he – NOT!

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  4. I feel sorry for him. I’ve never heard of him before but he seems like such a great guy. He’s worth every cent.
    Sorry, I’m not sure what tags to use to denote “sarcasm” here in the comments section 😉

    I Googled “chutzpah” and “recidivist” and now I’m better educated, thank you 🙂

    Like

    • We definitely need a “sarcasm” font!

      The irony is he was naturally talented. He never NEEDED drugs. He would have been a hall of famer without it. Talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory — he really did it. He had it all and threw it away with both hands. There are many of us that wish we had had just a tiny piece of what God gave him and he wasted. Not to mention the money.

      Like

  5. Shoot, A-Rod hasn’t missed a beat. He’s still playing for his beloved Yankees, the best baseball team money can buy. He’s still a celebrity, although now an infamous one. All he wants to do is play ball, and be in the limelight and fame and gobs of money. It reminds me of that other poor slob, Lance Armstrong or Mark McGuire. The list is long these days. It’s fashionable to do designer drugs in our society. They just get paid a hell of a lot of money to do so.

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    • Meanwhile, I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to do about a heart that no longer wishes to function on my behalf. The gross unfairness in hard to cope with. I’d take his worst year and trade him my last dozen.

      Like

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