Back when I was very much younger and hornier … like really horny most of the time … there was lots of discussion about The Spot. You know. That critical yet somehow elusive spot on the female anatomy? I assumed I knew what everyone was talking about though I was never sure because we can’t call anything by its proper name. Despite there being nothing dirty, offensive or immoral about correct names, we are still prissy about sex.
This produces some truly bizarre communication problems between the sexes. It’s akin to taking a vacation but not being allowed to say the name of the hotel. You can only identify it as The Resort. You are also forbidden to give the street number. Just Somewhere On Main Street. Good luck finding your destination.
It’s not only men who can’t find The Spot on wives or girl friends. It’s also persons of the female persuasion who (apparently) can’t find it on themselves. Say what? A friend of mind commented that even if the finger can’t figure out which bulge or lump does what, the spot itself should immediately contact the brain with the information — DING, DING, DING, THIS IS THE SPOT!
So what’s with all these girls growing up who can’t find it? I’ll bet every little boy in the world knows where his Spot is. He didn’t have to take a seminar. His brain said “Right here!”
More relationships have been destroyed by a woman’s inability to say “About half an inch to the left, please” than by adultery. The same people who fight, argue, email, text and post the most intimate details of their lives on Facebook are unable to tell a partner that he (she?) is missing The Spot. Oh puleeze.
I thought we got squared away on this 50 years ago. Or more. Apparently not. What are all the people who can’t find The Spot doing in bed? Playing canasta?
The time has come for technology to take a hand (no pun intended) in the matter. We need an app for that. How about one for the ubiquitous iPhone? Grab your phone and like a Geiger counter, it tells you when you’re hot — and when you’re not. As you zero in, the Hot Spot Finder App says “YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR DESTINATION!” in stentorian tones. The Hallelujah Chorus starts playing.
Everyone uses a mobile phone for everything, so let’s solve this problem once and for all. Give us an APP for that!
Share this:
Categories: Entertainment, Humor, Romance
this is hysterical. “playing canasta?” hahahaa. I can pretty much tell you with full confidence that I know where my spot is and I have no problem informing. That’s just downright silly not to!!! What’s the point???
LikeLike
It’s stupid, but people are strange about matters sexual. Why? We can speculate, but it’s an American thing.
LikeLike
Um, I’d buy that app. Ahem.
LikeLike
My husband said he’d buy it, but he hates cell phones.
LikeLike
Really, Marilyn, just tell it like it is. 😀 This post cracked me up, but made me wonder if I had ended relationships because the spot COULD NOT BE FOUND. LOL! 😀
LikeLike
People are weird about sex — men and women. We are prudish and prissy, yet half the shows on TV show blatent sexuality. I have no idea why. But yeah, be able to say “half an inch to the left” and not having the guy fall apart would help a lot of relationships.
LikeLike
Hehe-great idea!
LikeLike
Get REALLY intimate with your iPhone 🙂
LikeLike
Honest and hilarious.
LikeLike
Half an inch to the left, please!
LikeLike
Ahahahaha!
You are very funny. 😀
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
Glad to hear I’m not the only guy who’s had problems finding the “spot”. An App is a great idea but doesn’t sound sexy or romantic. Our old pal “Big Guy” excitedly chased his “spot”.
LikeLike
Big Guy was definitely not romantic. People have “feelings” for their phones. I don’t, but others do.
LikeLike