A SERIOUS TALK WITH BONNIE

 I feel this is a perfect opportunity to air a grievance still fresh in my mind.

Although we are indulgent dog parents, we don’t sleep with dogs. They outnumber us two to one and the bed isn’t all that big.  Moreover, they hang with us on the loveseat in the living room and in the offices from morning till we toddle off to bed in the wee hours. The bed is ours. Ours alone. I refuse to feel guilty about it. Okay, a little guilty, but only a bit. We have enough trouble getting comfortable without trying to maneuver around you dogs.

Not to mention the dirt and fur that inevitably accompanies our beloved beasts. We have a gate across the hallway. We close it at night when we go to bed, confining our poor, oppressed pets to the living room, kitchen and of course the yard via the doggy door. For the 5 or 6 hours during which I try to catch some Zs, it’s No Dogs Allowed. You guys — yes, I mean you, my black-furred miscreant — know this is our time alone. You know perfectly well that when the gate is closed, it’s “give them a rest” time.

Bonnie - 8

Except last night, Bonnie, you didn’t feel like sleeping and proceeded to fling yourself at the gate. The whole house shook. I’m surprised you didn’t knock it right off its hinges. The howling and barking and yapping was bad enough, but this was like an earthquake. Totally uncool.

Bonnie, my beloved Scottish Terrier? Listen up. If you persist in flinging yourself at the gate through the night, it isn’t biscuits you’ll get. Just because you’re bored and think 3 am is a grand time for a romp and a treat, doesn’t mean we humans agree. You are going to wind up in a crate. Worse, I’ll take away your computer privileges. You won’t be able to use my laptop anymore. You know I can do it, darling Bonnie, so don’t test me. Last night, you were a wicked Scottie.

When you rousted me out of bed for that fourth and final time — was that just about 4 am?– you knew I wasn’t coming to give you a cookie. Because you ran out the doggy door and didn’t come back until I’d gone back to bed. How did you know I was mad at you? I didn’t say anything. The first three times you got your dad, then me up, you snagged a biscuit. That was supposed to shut you up. How did you know this wasn’t another goody on the way?

But you knew. You ran for the yard. Interesting. Was it the sound of steam coming out of my nose and ears? Or just the way I tread the floorboards?

Bonnie, my darling. You do that again, tonight — or any other night — and your spoiled rotten little life will be in serious peril. Do you understand? Don’t laugh at me. I’m serious. I’m mad at you!



Categories: Animals, Humor

Tags: , , , , , , ,

23 replies

  1. Oh, yes, Marilyn… I can see the look in Bonnie’s eyes. She looks like a chastened pup. Am sure your stern stance and thinly veiled threats have worked a miracle. On the other hand, that look could mean yer about to be hoisted on yer own petard. 😀

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    • She gave one solitary head butt to the gate last night and I yelled at her (I never yell at any of the dogs, even when they are doing something truly naughty). I said “HEY, CUT THAT OUT!” Believe it or not, she did. Garry thinks she is so smart she understands “Oops, I’ve gone too far.” I think she hears a certain tone of voice and decide to give it a rest — maybe body language. Regardless, I got to sleep and all is well 🙂 Yay.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Perhaps she responds to a Dog Yeller better than a Dog Whisperer? 😉 Perhaps I shall attempt it with our smallest, fattest, loudest dog… who believes I should escort her downstairs at dark-thirty each morning. For no apparent reason, other than her desire for me to see each sunrise. Sigh… she may have a valid point. 😀

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        • Don’t give in — unless you want to see the sunrise EVERY day and I’m betting you don’t 🙂 They are so manipulative and a lot smarter than they are supposed to be!

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          • Not sure how to do this, as when I hit “reply” it takes me to a different place. Yes, dogs are just like children… manipulative and smarter than we ever intended them to be. 😉 In the meantime, I’ve been seeing that sunrise for over two years, so likely no back-peddle available for me at this time. 😉

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            • Sometimes “reply” or “comment” takes you to someplace strange. Not just on my site, but on any WordPress site. It’s a glitch of some kind and pops up randomly. Usually, if you click on the title of the post, you can just scroll down to the comments.

              We do let our little dogs rule us, don’t we 🙂 We can’t spoil our children so much. They have to go out into the world and deal with reality, but we can spoil our dogs 🙂 And they become brats, of course.

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  2. Ah-h-h-h! The beating of the door apparently is innate to the little beasts…dogs and cats! Hold your ground! hahaha Bet one of them ends up in the bed 🙂 😆

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  3. I don’t blame you. My cats are verboten from my bedroom when I am sleeping, and I don’t feel even a tiny bit guilty about that. Doesn’t keep them from trying to beat my door down though…

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  4. LMAO!! Incredible that she actually ran out the door the last time you responded to her gate head banging. Actually, I’m impressed. Maybe there’s some intoxicating stuff in the snow. Mebbe. Love the picture of our incorrigible Bonnie Annie Laurie, Daddy’s little girl aka “Hammerhead”.

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  5. This part is so funny:
    But you knew. You ran for the yard. Interesting. Was it the sound of steam coming out of my nose and ears? Or just the way I tread the floorboards?

    Bonnie, my darling. You do that again, tonight — or any other night — and your spoiled rotten little life will be in serious peril. Do you understand? Don’t laugh at me. I’m serious. I’m mad at you!

    I hope you have a beautiful day! ❤

    Like

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