GONZO GEORDIE HAD AN AX

I’m totally sure this is not what they had in mind when they suggested this

Weekly Writing Challenge: Three Ways to Go Gonzo

Gonzo Geordie had an ax

To give her daddy forty whacks.

When that job was goodly done

Gonzo’s mom got forty-one.”

The neighborhood children, they be singin’ my song. Agin. My name be Gonzo. I love when they sing my song. I’m some body big. Biggest. Right Doc? Gonzo is famous. I’m a see-leb-ree-tee. Real deal.

“But why did you kill them? Your mother, your father,” Dr. Welby is asking me. Again. “Why? Did they hurt you?”

“No M’am” I tell him, smiling, friendly-like. I like Dr. Welby. Nice man. Can I can kill him too? Split that big head of his’n right down the middle. Like a melon. “No siree, nothin’ like that. They wuz always good to me.” I pause. I wait. He waits. We wait together.

75-Got Jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars.Finally, I say something. “But I never did cotton to Mama’s cookin’. No, she weren’t much of a cook. Not much fer cookin’ a’tall.” And I grin remembering.

“Then why?” persisted the doctor. I was happy to answer, though she’d said the same thing lots of times and got the same answer.

“Cause I wanted to. Always wanted to. I tole’em, I did. They just didna believe me.”

Serial killer they call me. I sound important. I like that. I’m so happy. Always wanted to be. Though until after I done it, I didna know it had a special fancy name. Other kids, they was wanting to be firemen and nurses and stuff but me, Gonzo, I was snuffing kitties and wanting to turn Mommy and Daddy into glop.

I should have cooked them in the big iron pot but darn I didna have nuff time. Mebbe next time. Mebbe.

Now, they singing my story all over the place, singing my song.

“It didna use forty whacks. Not like the song,” I tell the Doc, sadly. “Not nearly nor specially not forty-one whacks. T’was less’en the number of fingers on my hand to make daddy all pulpy.

“Nothin’ to ax no more, nope. Not hardly nothin’ but red goopiness. Mommy? Less, not sure how many. But not enough as I wanted.

“I wisht it was forty or forty-one, forty-two, more even. Mebbe someday. Yup, just a few more would’ve been good. My song … it’d be longer. Yup. Longer.”

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91 thoughts on “GONZO GEORDIE HAD AN AX

  1. Pingback: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SERENDITY – TWO YEARS OF BLOGGING | Serendipity

    • Your blog is very young. Mostly, what you need to be is patient. Write a lot (but keep posts tight and around 600 words (or less). See what people respond to. Don’t let low numbers get you down. I had a lot of zero visitor days during the first months of blogging — so does everyone!

      USE PUBLICIZE. If you don’t have a FB identity, get one. Google too. And Twitter. And Tumbler. Etc. The more places where your writing can be accessed, the better. Keep the posts short and to the point and don’t forget to have a sense of humor. Your format is great for photography, but not so wonderful for text. If you are going to be primarily text-centric, you might want to rethink your template. There are tons of them free from WordPress. I do a lot of photography, so I’m using one that is especially good at displaying large pictures and lets me put a photograph in the header area. But if you aren’t a photographer, there are better templates for writers. Also, centered text is hard to read, or at least I think it is. So is white on dark for anyone over 40 ( know you aren’t using it, but I’m just giving you a timely hint — many people won’t even try to read light on dark text). If you are using CAPTCHA, don’t. It just annoys people.

      Illustrate. Use white space. Include pictures. Write on various subjects and see who responds to what. It takes a while to find your voice and figure out what you do best. Patience … and a bit of aggressive marketing … and it will still take at least 6 months before you really see the results … sometimes longer. I’ll keep an eye out too 🙂

      Oh yeah, and comment on other people’s work. Do NOT do what you did on my site and pop a link into comments. It’s impolite. If your comment is interesting, most of us will check you out anyhow. Follow blogs you like; you will get some follow backs.

      Most of all, have fun. Because if you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, there’s no point in doing it.

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  2. It’s “interesting” that even though “SONG of the SOUTH” IS a BANNED entity that this reads, very much, like a cross between the 1940’s interpretation of “NEGRO” dialetical speech patterns and BAD “HIP-HOP” from a fourty-year-old Bostonian. It sits “well” with those that have NO detrimental associations with “STRANGE FRUIT”, but, DOES in a time of unsubtle relationships by the growing ingredients of “THE MELTING POT”.
    As PAUL HARVEY, ( NOT STEVE!), would say… “NOW, the REST of the STORY”.
    I DO apologize for this observation… BUT, with the way the “majority” IS finding “entertainment,
    ( http://ideas.time.com/2014/01/17/dear-how-i-met-your-mother-asian-is-not-a-costume/), IS a reach too far.
    Would “GEORDIE” be an alien with a visor? HE would have used a PHASER.

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    • To be honest, I had NO idea what I was doing. My husband is black (okay, cafe au lait unless he gets some sun) and he talks just like me, or rather better because he works at it and I don’t. I sort of made it up as I went along and if you look, it is very inconsistent because … well … I made it up as I went along. I was thinking white southern poor young and female. Since I am white, old, Jewish, New York-Boston with virtually no acquqaintance with people of any race from the south, all I could refer to were whatever bad movies I’ve seen. Hope that clarifies the situation 🙂

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      • I hope that the APOLOGY I’M GIVING works for YOU. I’m a “BALABUSTA” by Leo Rosten’s definition, (“So innocent that the ONLY thing I know to do with a bed is make it”.),. The fact that I did the article and commenting backwards let the events of the last years’ confusions rule my thoughts by HOW I’d “grown up”. My classmate of high school OWNS the Columbus Blue Jackets while I own a trailer. He played Football while I played Ice Hockey… He’s “White”, I’m “Black”. A confusing set of reasonings called “life”. I believe that the “career” of stage work has a lot to do with what / how I remember and sort “life’s” events.
        Most of all, I realize that BEING TOO QUICK to JUDGE IS what gets most of “us” in so much too tepid water. Thank YOU for YOUR Humanly EDUCATIONAL skills.
        “D”

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      • I have a story in my head. That is where they develop and one day I start to write and it all comes spilling out.
        When I was freshly pressed…last Sept I think, it gave me my 15 minutes of fame (lasted 2 days) and also was wholly redeeming for me. You write so well and it is richly deserved. And it is VERY easy to be your friend.

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        • Thank you. That’s the nicest compliment I’ve gotten from anyone.

          I’m painfully aware the attention is only going to last a couple of days … if that long. But redeeming is the right word. I don’t do this because I think I’ll get rich and famous, but after 1800 posts, some positive reinforcement really feels good. It makes it feel a lot less like a hamster in a wheel!

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  3. Well done on your Fresh Pressing Marilyn – keep on writing. And yep, you’re right, it is a compulsion… I just wish I could manifest a compulsion to actually finish more of the stuff I start. Hmm, In that respect writing is way too much like my love life – sporadic and nomadic 😉

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  4. Pingback: WRITING FOR THE RIGHT REASONS | SERENDIPITY

    • Well, thank you for noticing what I did. It wasn’t an accident. People always assume people who do horrible things were mistreated, abused, etc. But it’s not necessarily true. I know a lot of abused children. I have only to look in the mirror to see one. And I’m not a killer, torturer, scammer, spammer or any other kind of bad guy. No angel, but not allied with the Devil either. Evil shows up without necessarily having a specific reason. Good kids come from terrible homes and terrible adults come from good homes. People need to find a reason for stuff that happens, especially bad stuff. But — as my husband always reminds me — there IS such a thing as evil and we all know it when we meet it. We feel it, like a presence in the room.

      I wanted to portray evil for its own sake — without the excuses. Just pure evil. Weird, I guess.

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