THE MOST IMPORTANT STORY

By Rich Paschall, Sunday Night Blog

A few thoughts on YOUR story

For the past few weeks I have had the opportunity to post a few small works of fiction.  They were just little stories that I hoped would make a point.  While they are no one’s story in particular, they all contain elements that are familiar to me.  I filled in the details with characters and descriptions that would make a story.  That was the fun part of telling a tale that in some ways I know well.  If you read any of them these on past Sundays, I hope you found some enjoyment.  I would like to recommend to you now a more important story.  It is one that only you can fill in the details and it is imperative that you do it soon, before the chance slips away.  That story is your story.

1930s Country-Road

How often have you wondered about the details of your ancestry?  How often did you wish to know more about your parents’ lives or your grandparents’ lives?  Where did they come from? How did they meet?  How did they fall in love?  What did they do before you were around?  Perhaps you have parents who were around at pivotal points in history.  What do they recall?  Did you wait until it was too late to ask these questions or is there still time?

It is not that my brother and I did not think to ask our parents about their earlier lives, we just did not get good answers.  Of course, we did not press them on anything, especially when we were young.  My mother lived through the Great Depression and the family was so poor that a wealthy relative offered to raise my mother since my grandmother had so many kids she could not properly feed.  Apparently my grandfather was not a good provider.  Details of his bad habits are sketchy.  My mother was not given away as they struggled through the thirties.  As for the war years, I have no idea.

My father was born into rural American farm life.  He joined the war effort as soon as he was old enough.  Like many of our “greatest generation” he said little about it.  “What did you do in the war, dad?” we might ask.  “I learned to peel potatoes”, he would usually respond.  Even if that were true, it does not tell the story.  My father was a member of the army air corp. 509 Composite.  That is the group that was on Tinian Island.  There the secret mission was to assemble the team and enough support personnel to drop the atom bomb on Japan.  Did my father know any of that?  Probably not as records indicate he was trained in first aid and medical support.  Some of what is left is a matter of contradictions.  Some of the record may have been untrue to cover what was the actual story.  It is hard to imagine he left the war in Europe or Africa where he had medals, for “agricultural training” here.  He was raised on a farm.  More likely, he trained as support staff before going to a small island in the South Pacific.

Late in dad’s life it was futile to recover any details.  My brother tried to get some information and did a lot of research that allowed us to only confirm a few things.  We have medals, his discharge paper and the 509 Composite book with some pictures as the only definite facts.  The rest of the story was my father’s joke or dismissive answers.  Of course, we have heard that many who came back from the war, did not want to talk about it.  In my father’s later life we did attend some family reunions and travelled to the rural community where he was born.  My grandparents are buried there.  We learned some of his past, nothing about the war.

Ellis-Island-passengers-on-ship

I tell you all this to remind you that you may want to learn as much of your ancestry as you can.  It is part of your story.  You may have heard of ancestry.com or the PBS television series that traces the ancestry of famous people.  These have become popular because of our desires to know who we are and where we came from.  If your parents and grandparents are alive, ask them your questions now, before it is too late.

When my grandmother was still alive and in her 90’s, there was a picture taken with her holding her great-great grand-daughter with her daughter, grand-daughter and great grand-daughter behind her.  I wonder if there is a copy of that photo for the infant in the picture.  More importantly, can anyone recount the stories of those in the picture?  Save your priceless photos too.  There may be no telling how valuable these pictures will be to future generations.

What about the most important story of all?  That would be your story, of course.  You may not think it now, but your story may be important to the future.  Consider what your friends and offspring may wish to know.  Tell the stories as honestly as you can.  That does not mean you have to tell everything.  Some things are best if they are not passed along.  Tell the things the next generations will want to know about you and who and what came before you as far as you know.  You will be honoring the future generations in this way.  What you wanted to know about your past may be what your offspring will want to know about you.  Toss the dirt out the window and save the good stuff for future generations to know.

National Public Radio has featured stories from Story Corps.  Over 99,000 people have recorded their stories there, some more than once, years apart.  Some are absolutely moving accounts of where some people have been in their lives.  I heard one on the radio of an elderly couple who told their story on-line and then updated 10 years later before the husband’s death.  Then he recounted how he wrote love letters to his wife every day for over 40 years and their love had never died.  Did following generations know this?  They know it now.  Do not leave your story untold and unwritten.  It is your legacy.  It is the most important story you know.

13 thoughts on “THE MOST IMPORTANT STORY

  1. Another winner! I waited too long to try to get the story from my elderly relatives. By the time I was asking, they were no longer remembering. Timely questions make a huge difference. The longer you wait, the less likely you are to get good answers. This is a great post and a reminder that later is sometimes too late. Do it now!

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  2. Good day;
    I agree so much, history is essential!
    Personally, I like anthropology, but anybody should know at least about their family history.
    Maybe youngsters will find in interesting as they grow up and progress in life…
    Regards,
    CarlD.

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  3. We are the stories our parents, and their parents before them and on, lived. For good or bad their experiences have coloured our lives and often at a depth we do not understand. Thanks to my late grandfather hoarding family papers and photographs I’ve been able to trace my genealogy back several generations. I have the benefit of many of the stories of the hardships my ancestors experienced through the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl. I am aware of the guts and glory surrounding the United Empire Loyalists ancestors who settled in Canada. I know of artists and musicians and writers. At some level all of these people have contributed to who I am. With that knowledge I’ve been able, with the help of therapy, to unravel that which tore my down and strengthen the character and traits inherited to raise me up. I wish everyone had, or took, the opportunity to get to know themselves in this way. Whatever morsel of information we can pick up from others in our family has the potential to help us to understand ourselves better in the long run. When we live in ignorance of the past or shove it into a place we think we don’t have to deal with it we are bound to suffer within ourselves and cause suffering around us. I know this to be true from my own experience. Thank you for sharing this important message.

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  4. Wow, Rich!! Talk about TIMELY!!! I’ve just received an extraordinary letter from my cousin, one of the closest members of my surviving family. She talks about recently discovered ancestors. So, the two of you now have my mind buzzing!! Your story about your Dad’s military life and memories parallels mine. I’m ever so grateful!!

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  5. Recently, my late husband’s 2nd or 3rd cousin who lives in Germany, emailed a copy of an exhausting research he did on their family, actually being able to trace the family back to the 1400’s with no lost generations. This was incredible to see how the family had originated in Germany, where many still reside but at the time of WWI, some moved to the Netherlands and three sons set off for America. It was also extremely interesting to see how the original spelling of the surname had changed with residencies in new lands. Great article!

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  6. A year ago, a friend took me to her cousin’s place to see how he was using eBook, to write a memoir of his father’s life which focused on letters that his mother and father wrote to each other whilst his dad was overseas during the war. I could see that it was a great source of interest for him, and he certainly did his homework, even going to the archives in Ottawa so he could get the story right, complete with historical accuracy. No small feat! He also had the presence of mind to record interviews with his Dad before his demise, which he was able to incorporate into this eBook…it ended up being a great story, with personal accounts (video) by his dad of what it was like in the day, and included great photos and some scanned copies of the letters they sent each other. This takes time and energy…and the desire to FINISH.
    I guess when you are in your 60s and know that you are next to go, it’s wise to keep a record
    for future generations. Thanks for the encouragement which must be translated into action.
    Just one of the millions of things to do…isn’t life rich!

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    • Thanks for sharing this interesting story. That certainly is the way to do it if you have the time. What a wonderful record your cousin has to pass along. Yes, life is rich. I will never run out of things to do.

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