The heart surgery I’ve been anticipating is no longer an abstract “someday.” It’s now got a date and a name. A place, a surgeon. A schedule.

I could have done it as early as next week but I’ve got a lot of things to take care of. Taxes to file, bills to schedule, maybe a few stories to write. I need to settle my brain because I’m not in a good place. Much too scared to think straight.

Heart broken

I’m not so much afraid of dying, though that is certainly a possibility. There’s nothing minor about this set of procedures. Septal myectomy and mitral valve repair, with a cardiac catheterization before the surgeries, just for fun. I really do know how to have a good time.

Starting March 5th, I’ll be in at Beth Israel in Brooklline. First in the ICCU, then the regular cardiac ward for a week or two. Then back home for at least 10 to 12 weeks. No cardiac rehab because I can’t afford it. There’s a $50 per day deductible and essentially, no one I know can afford it. The hospitals and surgeons are well aware of this and don’t require rehab. So I’ll go home.

Assuming the surgery goes well and there are no complications, I should be able to write fairly soon after I’m home. It won’t mean I’m recovered, only that writing is the one thing I can (usually) do even when I’m not exactly up to snuff.

There’s a little more than a month and I hope it’s a good month. I hope all goes well and this surgery that scares the bejeezus out of me will ultimately improve my life. I live — simultaneously — in hope and fear.

Life is like that.

Categories: #Health, Life, Medical

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51 replies

  1. I will be sending happy thoughts and warm wishes for a speedy and easy recovery. You’re in my prayers. Remember we are never given more than we can handle and you are handling this better than most so you must be an extremely strong person (: Take care.


    • I’ve gotten pretty fatalistic about it. It really IS out of my hands. But really, I’m counting on a speedy recovery. I have things to do 🙂 Thanks for the support. It really helps!


  2. All positive thoughts and prayers coming your way. I too have no words. Just know that you will be in my heart and my head as you get that heart rebuild kit installed. I’ll be waiting to hear from Garry when he can. I’m sure he’ll be a tiny bit nervous as well. Remember, we have a shooting date, and a 25th and 50th anniversary that you need to celebrate, ok? Keep it positive. Hugs my friend. Debbie


  3. Kiss ass and take names, Marilyn. Get back to us soon.


  4. Get out of the hospital as soon as you can. Hospitals are no place to stay. Home is where the heart should be. Wishing you a smooth and speedy recovery.


    • Thank you! I’m working on it. Meanwhile, I’m trying to close off lots of loose ends, let people know they are not forgotten, just delayed. I know I should worry more about health and less about blogging … but this site has come to mean a lot ot me. Garry and Rich will keep it alive, but Garry’s going to be a little busy taking care of the flesh and blood me — I don’t think he’ll have enough to do a lot of writing, too. I’ll try to write ahead a bit, but I don’t think it’s going to be as much as I need … not even close. What will be will be. Hopefully it will go as well as this kind of surgery can and I’ll be up and around quickly. Coming home can’t be too soon for me. I hate hospitals.



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