DON’T PRESS YOUR LUCK

Daily Prompt: Against All Odds

Against all odds I’m alive. Technically, I died the first time in 1967 when I had that spinal fusion and laminectomy. The spine infected, but with a little supernatural intervention, I got to throw the dice again. Next, there was a burst ovarian cyst and septicemia. No doctor would treat me because they said it was just a delayed menstrual cycle (not). I had to check myself into the hospital for a prepaid abortion (I wasn’t pregnant) before anyone paid any attention.

out-sick

Then oh let’s see … the viral meningitis. That was fun. Talk about your really bad headaches. That was the granddaddy of all headaches!

There was the botched gastric bypass followed by losing my medical insurance and five years of malnutrition. Saved by the skin of my teeth and a great doctor who realized if I didn’t get immediate care, I’d be dead by the end of the week. Took me in without insurance. I was well along on my trip to the Other Side, but the Brigham called in the Plastic Surgery Swat team to dismantle and rebuild my septic abdomen plus another supernatural intervention and voilà! I made it out the other side, two surgeries and two codes later.

Then came breast cancer. Diagnosed the right breast and I suggested they take a look at the left one, too. Nah. Waste of time they said. That never happens.

Finally, they were persuaded to check it out and guess what? A second tumor. So I had a double mastectomy and reconstruction two years ago and now, whoa! What’s that? Your heart? You’ve got extremely serious cardiomyopathy! And a non-working mitral valve! Where the devil did that come from? It was fine last we looked and it wasn’t that long ago!

AGAINST ALL ODDS — I’m alive. I’m supposed to go get a cardiac catheterization followed by a cardio-myectomy to redesign my left ventricle and more surgery to repair (hopefully not replace) the mitral valve — except … double whoa … it looks like maybe I’ve got the flu. Or pneumonia. I don’t think it’s pneumonia yet.

My husband won’t let me have heart surgery when I’m already sick. I see his point. It’s possible I’ve had all the supernatural interventions I’m going to get this side of the grave, so maybe it would be better to not press my luck. I want to sleep for a long time and wake to everything being all better. Is that too much to ask? Yeah, it is. But gee, it sounds awfully good to me.

Alternatively, I will take the advice of several of my commenters. Paint myself blue with weird symbols and organize a pillaging raid on the local Walmart. I need to strike a blow for freedom!!

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Categories: Health, Humor, Medical

Tags: , , , , , ,

30 replies

  1. Am I out of touch if I say I don’t know what the significance of painting yourself blue and storming Walmart would be? Hmmmm. Here’s hoping the cold doesn’t turn to pneumonia, but Garry is right…surgery should wait until you are at your healthiest.

    Like

    • Blue is woad. It’s a Celtic thing. They used to strip naked, paint themselves blue (and other things), then shriek and attack. They were so terrifying that their enemies would flee without a fight. It would be a sensation at Walmart or at least a distraction to an otherwise dull day.

      As for being healthy for surgery, I definitely feel that being able to breathe properly would be a big plus. It’s just frustrating. My life is on hold and I’m not good with waiting 🙂

      Like

  2. Don’t do anything drastic until your well enough to give everyone a hard time, I always say. Don’t pillage Walmart. All those minimum wage workers will only have to clean up after you. Think Macy’s.

    Like

  3. Against all odds?! You have definitely beat the odds! Good for you. I hope you get well soon, so you can go get your heart fixed.

    If you go to Walmart painted blue; you could end up on that website of weird people in Walmart 🙂

    Like

  4. God …
    I think I’m going to stop complaining.
    About anything.

    Like

  5. Quite amazing battles you have some very strong will power.

    Like

  6. Go pillage, Marilyn! Show ’em who’s boss…and keep us in the loop! xxx

    Like

  7. I tried to count your medical maladies to see if maybe you still had more “cat lives” but, I think you have surpassed nine survivals which now makes you indestructible! And that’s how I see it! Get your blue on and go to Walmart now. 😉

    Like

Trackbacks

  1. Daily Prompt: Against All Odds | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
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