HEIGHT OF TOILET SEATS AND OTHER EPIPHANIES

I’m writing for Marilyn today. Not ghosting just writing what she’s thinking. It’ll be awhile before Marilyn can actually do what she does best. Write wonderful blogs that touch many hearts and lives.  It’s the beginning of  her third full day at home. Marilyn’s return from nearly two weeks and five heart surgeries at Beth Israel Hospital is full of surprises, revelations and epiphanies. Not the C.B. DeMille grand scale things. Just very ordinary stuff we take for granted.

Take toilet seats, for instance. When you’re taking care of business do you ever notice how high or low your throne is? Most don’t. The biggest controversy is whether the guy remembers to put the seat back down. Well, listen up, Pilgrim!! A discovery preferably forgotten came when Marilyn was home alone. Nature called and Marilyn answered.

Sitting down on her throne, unlike comedy, was easy. Getting up, like live television, was hard and full of unpleasant surprises. The seat was lower than Marilyn realized. Gravity only takes you DOWN, she now recounts with a wry smile. Arising from her throne required a monumental effort. Marilyn says it was like having no legs. She kept trying, losing track of the number of efforts. Marilyn finally rocked back and forth, maybe a little Ray Charles movement, and after many dizzying efforts, she staggered to her feet. It literally took her breath away!!

Why was Marilyn left to her own devices? Mea culpa! I’d run a few errands. Marilyn asked me to do them as quickly as possible. As usual, I listened but didn’t follow her request even if I had the best of intentions. Good intentions don’t count when a person is left unattended in fragile condition.

Then there’s coffee. Any idea what nearly two weeks of hospital coffee will do to your palate? I had a sip while visiting Marilyn and my tongue rebelled. One of the first things Marilyn noticed upon her return home was the sound and smell of coffee dripping in the morning. Her first cup of real coffee elicited sighs and smiles.

Another delight for Marilyn was a shower. A REAL shower in her own bathroom. Using her own soaps and, with a little help, washing her hair. More sighs and smiles mixed with some groans as Marilyn gently cleaned the sensitive post surgery areas of her body. Wrapped in her own comfortable robe, Marilyn felt refreshed until another surge of pain jolted her reverie. Each day is a mix of small bursts of energy and longer periods pain coping that’s part of her recovery from the heart surgery that was so much more complex than originally thought.

Finally, there’s sleeping. We have one of those super-deluxe beds that lowers and raises your head and feet. It also vibrates, helping with some aches. That’s the good part. Marilyn aches from head to toe, in varying degrees 24 hours a day, even when in bed. Getting in bed is a chore. Finding the right position is another. Placing a heating pad over her bad right shoulder (muscle torn sometime during the hospital stay) is still another job. Getting quality sleep is a dream. A major problem occurs when nature calls during the middle of the night. Marilyn needs help getting out of bed and into the bathroom. I’m her faithful companion. But, as many of you know, I’m very hard of hearing. I take my hearing aids off before going to bed. Normal procedure.

However, when Marilyn needs my help at three o’clock in the morning, she either has to yell at me or hit me. I prefer the yell. It’s very, very frustrating for Marilyn. Consequently, both of us sleep fitfully. Marilyn because of the pain which never really subsides. Me because I hope I hear the nocturnal call for assistance. This would make for a bad Lifetime movie. But we’d gladly take the money.

Yesterday, Marilyn had her first visits from a visiting nurse and a physical therapist. We have a game plan. Better times are ahead, they promise. We can hardly wait!!



Categories: Health, Humor, Medical, UPDATE!

Tags: , , ,

31 replies

  1. It’s old news but…
    I just wanted to let you know that I’ve nominated you
    for The Jolly Lobster Blog Award.
    No, really.
    I did. 🙂

    You’ve probably already seen the details about it at my blog:
    But if not, here’s the address:
    http://wp.me/p2MHY5-1a3

    If you don’t get into the blog awards, that’s okay too.
    I still like you.
    And I won’t make you or threaten to break the appendage of your choice. 😉
    Sincerely,
    CeeLee

    Like

  2. I have obviously been out if the look on Marilyn and her recent surgery. I’ve been out of touch with my wordpress friends for quite a few weeks. I hope she’s improving well. She seems to have good care.

    Yes, it is interesting how we take a lot of things for granted until we’re confronted by them in the face because our circumstances have changed. But there’s nothing like coming home to your bed, your shower, and yes, your own toilet.

    Ann changing allegiance? Interesting.

    Like

  3. This has been a real eye-opener, Garry: these are things I had never even thought of. I do hope that the pain eases very soon, and that the two of you can get some much-needed quality sleep after the traumas of the past couple of weeks. Love to both, Ali xxx

    Like

  4. When this has all passed, Marilyn should write a screenplay to include all the adventures and misadventures along the way, We await the movie version.

    Like

  5. Hi Garr.., just though of something when you mentioned “shower”, and falling. One of the few really useful “As Seen On TV” items, I highly recommend, is a shower mat called “Aqua Rug”. It can be put right over the drain as it’s porous and provides a grippy surface while showering. I’ve given a couple as gifts and have two in my house.., friends love them. They are available at Bed, Bath and Beyond for about $20.00. An additional feature is keeping bugs from crawling up out of the shower drain.., which we have a few of here in Arizona…, bugs that is.

    Here is a site to check it out: http://www.buyaquarug.com/

    Like

  6. I totally hear Marilyn on the toilet-height issue. I’m pretty darn tall, so sometimes it’s like falling onto the ground and getting up I sometimes feel a winch and tow-truck would be in order. Sam has been sleeping very lightly lately as I have wrenched my back and just sitting up has been a tall order, although I’m starting to feel much better with some Celebrex. I also know when he isn’t doing well, I am waking up numerous times throughout the night to make sure he is still breathing. I think I might actually be getting a complex about it.

    Here’s to quick healing and positive things, like laughter and getting to take a “real” shower. Much love to you both!

    Like

  7. Unless you say not to, I will send one of these and you will have it TOMORROW, thanks to Amazon Prime. But do tell me if you have a standard (round) seat or en elongated one. It matters. 😉

    http://www.amazon.com/Drive-Medical-Premium-Removable-Standard/dp/B002VWJZ10/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1396545898&sr=8-1&keywords=raised+toilet+seat

    Like

    • You are absolutely the BEST!!

      Like

    • That looks like a great option. I was thinking of the height adjusting toilet seat my brother has. The only thing is he only has one bathroom and it is too tall for most of the people who visit him. It doesn’t automatically adjust so once it’s set you can’t really fool with it. It works perfectly for my brother though.

      Like

  8. I feel you on the sleeping thing. I also have a handy-dandy bed that adjusts the head and feet and vibrates (it’s heaven) but even with such luxury, it’s difficult to find a comfortable position when one is in chronic pain.

    As for the commode, I used a walking stick (not a cane, they’re useless in times like these) when I got out of surgery that was very useful when getting around and helpful when I needed to get off the commode. They’re also useful for poking hard of hearing significant others. 😛 Just kidding!

    Here’s to a speedy recovery!

    Like

  9. Do they market a Taser with a ‘mild but definite wake-up!’ setting? When ya gotta go, ya gotta go!

    Like

  10. There are some armrest/support bars you can install on the toilet. Have you considered getting those? They might be useful.

    Like

  11. It sounds like Marilyn is slowing getting back to normalcy.

    Like

  12. Ah yes, the toilet height. Since I’m tall that is a big issue for me. My legs have been beat up so many times that I require ADA compliance height toilets. It can make for a comedy, but not so fun if you can’t get up.

    You two are doing wonderful. I remember Chris never sleeping hard when I was really sick, so she could be there in an instant when I needed her. Marilyn will get better I promise and the pain will slowly subside.

    Thanks for keeping us updated. Still sending lots of energy and love your way.

    Like

  13. I look forward to the time when Marilyn is pain free and fancy footed once again. Hang in there guys better days are definitely ahead. Forgive me for laughing a couple of times. I felt evil laughing at some of the hurdles you face but you made it so funny. Laughter is good for the soul right? Hugsxxxx

    Like

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