I CAN’T REMEMBER THE DETAILS

Back of the Queue — Is there something you’ve always wanted to do, but never got around to starting (an activity, a hobby, or anything else, really)? Tell us about it — and tell us about what’s keeping you from doing it.


I’m totally sure there’s something I planned — intended — to do with my life and didn’t get around to it.  The problem is, I can’t remember what that was.

Did I plan to get famous, write the great American novel? Yeah, that was one thing but you’ll have to forgive me. I think when this was my dream, I was 10, maybe 11. It didn’t even survive into my high school years. I can’t clearly remember If I had anything specific in mine or how I intended to reach my goal. It was a long time ago.

75-EarlyMorningTeepee_01

When I was even younger, I wanted to be the Lone Ranger. Except the job was already taken. I didn’t have a horse, and (minor detail) I was (am) a girl. The details of this “plan” elude me now. I just remember the vague outline. Maybe this plan was never more than a vague outline. I was so young and it was a long time ago.

I was going to travel the world, live in another country, get absorbed in a different culture. Wait … I did that, didn’t I? I remember. A bit fuzzy, but these memories linger long.

I was going to be a working writer. A journalist. Run a newspaper, cover issues and events. Interview important people and see my byline on the front page. It’s coming back to me. I did that, though it was in another country and almost 30 years ago. I’m sure I enjoyed it a great deal, but time has softened the edges. Life does that. I may not remember every detail, but I know it was a great time.

So I’m looking back and I think I lived the life I wanted including pretty much all the stuff I wanted to do. It didn’t always work out exactly as expected, but that’s life. Man plans, God laughs.

Add another old saying: “Too soon old, too late smart.” If I could do it all over again … and believe me, I don’t want to do it again … I’d fine tune my plans a bit and maybe have a more profitable outcome. Because I had a good time. Even the bad times were good. I had fun. I laughed. I worked hard doing things I thought were worth doing. Some of my worst paying jobs were the most fun of all.

So maybe I wouldn’t do it differently after all. Because changing anything might ruin the experiences. The old butterfly effect, you know?

I can’t remember the details anyway, so this is my story. I’m sticking to it.


In real life, you have only two choices. They are fundamental, irrevocable, etched in stone.

You can die young … or you can grow old.

How you grow old — gracefully, grumpily, in good or poor health — isn’t up to you. But these are the only choices. I didn’t die young, so here I am. And I can’t remember a lot of detail, but I remember fun.

Laughter stays with you. I highly recommend not spending a lot of time grieving over what you missed and more time laughing with people you love.

 

31 thoughts on “I CAN’T REMEMBER THE DETAILS

  1. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been if I had taken other roads, not wasted so much time, and worked more seriously at work and money goals. But I would never want to go back to change course because I would be afraid I would never have the good friends I have now. I love them and would miss them, even if I had never known them.

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  3. There are two things still on my bucket list, to play acoustic guitar and to live in a new “tiny house”. I love to listen to acoustic guitar by someone who knows what they are doing. Rodrigo & Gabriela, Adam Hurst, Jose Feliciano, Jesse Cook come to mind on guitar.

    I’ve always had an interest in tiny houses built on trailers that are self-contained and towable. I try to never say never but unless I acquire $25-30,000 or more out of the blue it ain’t gonna happen.

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    • I’d like a new house too … but “I’d like to have” doesn’t equate — for me — into something without which my life will be incomplete. I wish I were healthier and less poor, but there’s nothing I want desperately, urgently. Which is just as well, because I think I’ve got what I’m going to have.

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  4. I love this post. There is quite a bit of wisdom in it. It must be very gratifying to have lived a life that has been (and is) so satisfying. I can’t help it – I rhyme occasionally.

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    • Thanks. Honestly, I believe most people my age are reasonably content with their lives and Hollywood notwithstanding, we aren’t panting after all the stuff we missed. We may yearn for our lost youth and wish we had more money, better health, but that’s entirely different. If you did the stuff you most wanted to do, that’s what will matter in the end.

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  6. Always wanted to be a movie star. Some suggest I did a lot of acting across the decades as a TV News reporter. Hey, people always believed me!

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  7. Another great post. I agree that it is important to remember the laughter and keep making new laughter. I know that I have been blessed and thank God for my life. Still, occasionally, I remember Spike Milligan who said “All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.”

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  9. Your photo brought back a happy memory. A summer spent living in a teepee on the banks of a beautiful river in Idaho. Thanks. 🙂

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  10. I wanted to be Tonto – we would have made a great pair I am sure, although I would love to have had a dog like Rin Tin Tin. One way or the other, our dreams were fulfilled, The main thing is to look back and realise you did it all my/your way. That would be a good song title.

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