THE NAMING OF THINGS

The Name’s the Thing – Have you ever named an inanimate object? (Your car? Your laptop? The volleyball that kept you company while you were stranded in the ocean?) Share the story of at least one object with which you’re on a first-name basis.


A toilet named John

A toilet named John

Have I ever named an inanimate object?

Does my ex-husband count?

Garry and I both call the toilet “John.” Does that count?

Computers on a network all have names. This one is Silver Streak but I have not recently addressed it directly, though I do have serious discussions with it during which I point out it can be replaced. “Don’t mess with me, bitch. You can be replaced with a Windows 8 machine.”

I can hear it laughing at me. It knows perfectly well I would never replace it with anything running Windows 8. I hate Windows 8. And 8.1. And whatever it is they are planning to call the next version of the Horrible Operating system. I sold my Win 8 tablet because all it did was piss me off.

I buy my makeup from Lauren Hutton. She  named her cheek and lip stain Larry, Joe, and Ed. I own Larry and Joe, but haven’t met Ed yet.

We used to own a GPS called Richard, but our new GPS is just The GPS. He has taken us down one dead-end too many and we don’t have warm fuzzy feelings about him.

However. I feel obliged to mention the four dogs. We have Bonnie, Nan, Amber and Bishop, each of whom has multiple nicknames. I suspect this has satisfied our naming urges.  Moreover, I have trouble remembering names I already am supposed to know. I see no point in further confusing myself.



Categories: Humor

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

14 replies

  1. Reblogged this on BLOGTENDI.

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  2. Ahem…. Bonnie and crew take great offense at being lumped into the group of “naming inanimate objects.” Perhaps an apology and biscuit is in order for them. 😉 Tread lightly with them… they hear well, and personally QoD is starting to believe some of them can read. 😀

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  3. I’ve never felt any urge to name inanimate objects for some reason. Unless you count stuffed toys 🙂

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  4. I am sure I do not name things because I would definitely forget them. Mr. Swiss has one of those romantic french names. That is why he is called “love” by me or Mr. Swiss here. I cannot pronounce his name very well. If you have four dogs and you call Bonnie, does Bishop know it is only Bonnie that should answer. Of course I am sure your dogs know their names and only answer when their name is called.

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    • I think they know their names (or maybe I just like to think it) … but they will all come running at the sound of the biscuit bin lid being removed. Although they cannot hear me call them, they CAN hear the sound of a plastic lid sliding off a bin from the other side of the yard. Remarkable, is it not?

      Sometimes I have trouble remember my name. Sad, but true.

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  5. I call my car Suzy Subaru. My GPS was named Lady by one of my clients and now everyone calls it that. 🙂

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Trackbacks

  1. Daily Prompt: The Name’s The Thing | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice
  2. Albert the Moose | TyroCharm

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