The Name’s the Thing – Have you ever named an inanimate object? (Your car? Your laptop? The volleyball that kept you company while you were stranded in the ocean?) Share the story of at least one object with which you’re on a first-name basis.
Have I ever named an inanimate object?
Does my ex-husband count?
Garry and I both call the toilet “John.” Does that count?
Computers on a network all have names. This one is Silver Streak but I have not recently addressed it directly, though I do have serious discussions with it during which I point out it can be replaced. “Don’t mess with me, bitch. You can be replaced with a Windows 8 machine.”
I can hear it laughing at me. It knows perfectly well I would never replace it with anything running Windows 8. I hate Windows 8. And 8.1. And whatever it is they are planning to call the next version of the Horrible Operating system. I sold my Win 8 tablet because all it did was piss me off.
I buy my makeup from Lauren Hutton. She named her cheek and lip stain Larry, Joe, and Ed. I own Larry and Joe, but haven’t met Ed yet.
We used to own a GPS called Richard, but our new GPS is just The GPS. He has taken us down one dead-end too many and we don’t have warm fuzzy feelings about him.
However. I feel obliged to mention the four dogs. We have Bonnie, Nan, Amber and Bishop, each of whom has multiple nicknames. I suspect this has satisfied our naming urges. Moreover, I have trouble remembering names I already am supposed to know. I see no point in further confusing myself.