THE SHORT LIST

To-Do? Done!

Quickly list five things you’d like to change in your life. Now, write a post about a day in your life once all five have been crossed off your to-do list.


VeganWitches“What a world, what a world” cried the witch. “I’m melting, melting.” And she melted. Referring back to her previous statement, it is quite a world and certainly could use some adjusting. So, off the top of my early morning head, I’d like to say this about that.

1. Whichever dog is piddling on the rug in the morning, it isn’t going to get you more biscuits, better food, an upgraded position on the sofa, or your own laptop. If we ever find out which one(s) of you are doing it, a good thumping is more likely. Stop it before I catch you because … to quote another movie big shot: “You won’t like me when I’m angry.”

2. Our television is 13 years old. It works. But it’s falling behind technologically. If any of you WordPress pixies feel inclined to drop by during the night, take away the huge old one and replace it with a nice, sleek, shiny new one, I would certainly not object.

3. Surely at least one wish grantor at your headquarters is in charge of paving? Because our driveway is a disaster and winter is coming. New asphalt please?

4. Speaking of winter coming and driveways … emphasis on the “drive”  … we could really use some kind of SUV to deal with the bad weather. We can’t afford one, but now that you are so spectacularly successful, maybe you’ve got a spare vehicle lying around you might send our way? Swap you for our 2003 Sunfire. It’s a cute little thing, but useless in the winter. Only has 115,000 miles on it and it’s bright yellow.

5. A general bump in income would be appreciated. We worked hard. Combined, the two of us worked for more than 80 years. It’s sad finding ourselves in such straits. We don’t need to be rich, though we wouldn’t object … but not poor either would be nice. I’d like to have more money than month. A little spare. Some discretionary funds.

Thank you all very much. I’ll be getting back to my coffee now. You want a cup? Have a seat. I’ll go get it.

Oh, and please make sure all those “gifts” are tax-free.

EPILOGUE: The Day After Tomorrow

Monday morning, I will get up and pad out to my living room in my bare feet, I will not step in a cold pool of dog pee. I will turn on my brand-new television which will have much better sharpness and clarity than the current one. I will not have to clean my glasses because things are a bit fuzzy.

I will gaze contentedly out my picture window where my new SUV will be waiting for me on my smoothly paved driveway. All our stuff will be packed because as soon as we finish a quick breakfast, we’re going away for a couple of days … now that we can afford a night or two in a nice bed and breakfast on the Cape.

Thanks for everything. See you in a few days.



Categories: Family, Humor, Sayings and Platitudes

Tags: , , , ,

34 replies

  1. Buy a crate and use it wisely. A dog will not go where it sleeps and though initially it seems cruel dogs are most comfortable in a “den” of sorts, no blankets. If you are not familiar with the concept read up on it! I trained all of my dogs this way over the years and it works perfectly..Have a nice trip.

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    • We have two crates. I don’t know which dog is doing what. This morning, all was normal. Separating them at night … have Bishop and Amber downstairs and the two terriers up here seems to change the dynamics. There’s some kind of territorial thing going on between the dogs. Hopefully, this will deal with it.

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  2. Ah, “tax-free”. Very important! You don’t want to have to sell all your new stuff to be able to pay the government their cut.

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  3. I can relate to your list except the dog pee. The dogs I have now are not my financial responsibility.
    I’m extremely frugal out of necessity. It’s been a game for years but I’m tired of it.

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  4. Hmmmm — sounds like you’d already had this post worked out in your mind for awhile. All seem like lovely “ta do’s.” Especially the bit of discretionary money part. And the TV and new SUV part. 🙂

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    • I didn’t work it out in advance … just that these are my top wish list items. I don’t bother to wish for health. That’s another department, but our TV has started to make little subtle crackly noises that don’t bode well. The driveway has been disintegrating for the last 10 years, but redoing it is insanely expensive and we don’t have the money. I don’t think we will EVER have the money. Now that autumn is nearly here, thoughts of the upcoming winter are unavoidable. We could really use a car which would go in snow. We used to have an SUV … but we ran out of salaries and just paid off our PT Cruiser — after 7 years! Much as we could use another car, the idea of taking on a new car loan? Oy. As for discretionary income? Poverty sucks. It would be nice to NOT be poor. Sadly, the wish fairy isn’t due to visit this week or maybe any week. So I guess we’ll just plod along.

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      • Plodding right along with you, Marilyn. I am right there with you, as far as really really REALLY not wanting a new car loan but it is very concerning that you don’t have a good vehicle for snow, especially where you live. But you’re right, we just have to plod along.

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        • We don’t have a choice. We are barely holding our own without a loan. Add a big debt and we’ll go under and never come up again. Without salaries or jobs, there’s no way to dig out if you get buried in debt. So we’ll have to manage.

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  5. I am sure you will melt their cyber hearts at headquarters. I will send Wordy over to go walkies with the canines. And if he can manage it I will get him to transfer you over to Switzerland. We have the room and we will do an exchange, but make sure that the dogs stop piddling all over the place and you have a new TV at your place, Mr. Swiss is a bit fussy and loves to watch the TV in the evenings. Don’t forget to check that my cats always have a full bowl of dehydrated vitamin pellets. You won’t have to look after the garden since we have Mowy.

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    • If the piddling doesn’t stop, there will be no living dogs, so it won’t matter. I am officially on the warpath! Our TV works. It’s high def and all of that, just the older technology, so it’s rather huge and clunky compared to newer ones. And not quite as sharp. But it’s not horrible … just getting old.

      We don’t have Mowy, but we do have Owy, my son. His name is Owen, but Owy really is his nickname.

      I was born for wealth and taste. This poverty stuff is for the birds! I’d love to visit Switzerland. It’s up there on my All Time Places I Want to Go list.

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  6. And here I thought I was alone in the world of doggy night pee. I know who’s doing it and it’s a medical condition rather than struggle for control. Sigh. The meds aren’t working very well either.
    Loved your take on the prompt!

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    • I don’t know for sure who it is. Might be Nan who is getting old and doesn’t always remember who or what she is, or feel able to go down the stairs and out the door. Or it could be Bonnie, messing with our head. Regardless, I hate it!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I know what you mean about the ‘hate.’ Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming about when these doggies will be on the other side of the pearly gates. And then I look at them and feel sad because they too are getting old and with diabetes, they have other issues which could take them away earlier. I hate diabetes!

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        • It’s frustrating. I love them and we sacrifice a lot to keep them all … but we get weary. My health is crappy and Garry’s not getting any younger. And at least one of the furries is getting senile, which is painful to watch and worrisome. I don’t think we will replace them. I love having dogs, but I’m ready to admit it: I’m tired.

          Liked by 1 person

          • You took the words right out of my mouth! After having two dogs end up to be diabetic, the costs have been outrageous! I would never take the chance of a new puppy turning into one with such expensive health needs. We simply couldn’t afford it.

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  7. Such a restrained list, Marilyn. Surely the wish-pixies will provide.

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  8. Tax-free; that’s a good one! 😀

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  9. Sorry all I can offer is a recommendation for something to help with the dog — my 14 year old Siberian usually makes it through the night, but not always. I have been using these in her “pee” place for the last couple of years. Definitely a big improvement. http://www.amazon.com/EZwhelp-Washable-Whelping-Puppy-Pad/dp/B003B3W6C8/ref=sr_1_26?ie=UTF8&qid=1410623852&sr=8-26&keywords=pee+pads+for+dogs

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    • I don’t think this is peeing because they can’t make it out the doggy door. This is a marking thing, something territorial going on. And I think I know who is doing it. But putting something down in that corner certainly couldn’t hurt any!! I’ll check it out. Thanks.

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  10. OK, I am laughing like a loon right now…. ALL of these are pertinent to my life! Especially the dog pee in the middle of the living room.

    I just let you out an HOUR AGO! Can you not knock on the door?? I KNOW you can do it… you always do, just as I sit down to dinner!

    Liked by 1 person

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