I knew I wasn’t a kid anymore when my hair turned white. I am officially as grown up as grown up can be. When you are getting pensions and social security checks and living on them, that’s probably a pretty sure sign maturity has arrived. You think, probie?

Marilyn and Garry by Bette Stevens

Marilyn and Garry by Bette Stevens

Personal mistakes, unfortunate turns in the road, bumps that are painful, even frightening? Normal stuff. Regrettable, but since no one can go back and fix what already happened, let it be. It is what it is, was, and will be.

Planning is a fool’s game. We planned to be young and healthy forever. Look how well that worked out. Well, maybe it did work out … finally. Not the way we planned it, but not so terrible, either.

Now we are in our retirement years and there are rewards. Freedom is the big one. No one can order you around. No one holds you to a deadline. You go to bed and get up on your own schedule. You do everything on your own schedule. If you don’t have a job, one day is like another. Weekends take me by surprise.

If you are in a good marriage, you finally have time to enjoy each other. You get to know your grandchildren. You read, watch movies, pursue hobbies, pet your dogs.

We worked hard, played hard, so our memories are a treasure trove. We did just about everything we seriously wanted to do. Hopefully, we have a few surprises yet to come. Good surprises, please.

I wish we’d been smarter about money. We thought we were being smart. We did what we thought we were supposed to do. It just didn’t work out as planned. What made perfect sense 20 years ago doesn’t make sense today. We didn’t fully grasp that pension amounts stay the same, though the cost of living continues to rise. The meaning of “fixed income” hadn’t really grabbed hold. It surely has now.

Looking backward … we had a great deal of fun. Individually and together. We still have fun. We just need to fit the fun into a tight budget, taking into account arthritic bodies and limited energy.

Few regrets and great memories. We didn’t do everything, but we did a lot. More than most. We made our share of unfortunate — even stupid — choices, but we didn’t chicken out. If life were a movie, we would be on schedule for a previously unknown but fabulously rich relative to pass away leaving us gazillions of dollars and a mansion on a cliff in Ireland. Pity a Hollywood scriptwriter isn’t writing our lives. A Hollywood ending would be a nice touch.

So, about that growing up thing? We grew up. And survived the experience.

In the deathless words and music of Edith Piaf, I would like to say this about that: Non, je ne regrette rien ... or at least, not much.



  1. We are as happy now as you guys are. Lets just hope when we reach our retirement years we can still laugh as much as you guys, and enjoy each other as much. I loved everything about this post! It makes me feel so good! Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I consider myself incredibly lucky to be going into old age with someone who I not only love, but also like and respect. It’s not nearly as common as it ought to be … so hang on to that. Money can’t buy it, but it’s worth more than anything you CAN buy.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. You say it well. We make our plans, they don’t always work out. Mr. Swiss was retired long before I stopped working, they were perhaps the difficult years, but they passed and now we do what we want to and not what we have to (interrupted by a few doctor appointments). I never dyed my hair, but went grey gracefully, allbeit a little sooner than I wanted. Mr. Swiss has a permanent Bruce Willis hair cut. Yes, old age can still be fun, not the same, but a mature sort of fun. I don’t mind it. And I Mr. Swiss looks the same as the day we met and so do I according to Mr. Swiss – go figure.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My husband tells me I’m beautiful and I tell him he is as devilishly handsome as ever. Neither of us believes it, but it makes us smile. He IS devilishly handsome — or at least I think he is.. I’m not so beautiful, but maybe I’m beautiful to him. It’s nice to have a good marriage. It makes getting older a LOT more palatable.

      My mother the atheist always says “Man plans, God laughs.” I guess she should have rephrased it to “Man plans, Fate laughs.” Regardless, at our age and state of health, I don’t bother to do much planning. I figure the future will take care of itself and I don’t have much to say about it.

      But I’d really like to be a lot richer 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • I have loved Edith Piaf since I was a girl. There is such sorrow in her songs … it’s why I took French in school, so I could understand the words. Thank you for your kind words. I think as we get older, we either accept the reality of aging, or we can be unhappy all the time. We only get the choice of living or not, and living has always seemed the better choice 🙂


  3. I’m not “on” SS just yet, but do get a little pension check. I guess I’m not “all growed up” yet. But I do have mostly all white hair, so maybe I’m “all growed up” three-quarters of the way?


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