I’LL TAKE RAMON

I do not need a clone. What in the world would I do with a second rickety old clone? I’d have to make twice as many doctor appointments. And good luck getting health insurance for a clone. They only give you Medicare once. After that, if you are sick, just go off and die, please. The state is not interested in your sad story.

“But I’m a clone! It’s not my fault I’m not in your records!” Yeah, right. They’d listen to that. In your dreams.

Out my window ice dams

The view out my bathroom window this morning. Where is Ramon when I need him?

I need an extra body around here. A young, healthy body. An agile body. Strong. If he wasn’t hard on the eyes, I wouldn’t mind that, either.

I’ll call him Ramon. He can help with all kinds of things. Shopping and hauling the groceries. Right now, I’d send him up to the roof to get rid of the snow and the ice dams that are trying to eat my house. Get him to chip the ice off the cars.

When he isn’t working around the house, he can go out and earn some money to support himself. I can’t afford to feed another mouth — especially with the appetite a young man has — so Ramon will have to get a job. Maybe part-time. I’ll give him the room for free and let him borrow the car. I hope he’s good with engines. Those cars aren’t getting any newer.

In the spring, Ramon could deal with that nightmare of a garden, remove the lethal dead rose-bush from the middle of it. I have a great many things that need doing, but require a strong young back. So no clones of me, please. I’ll take Ramon.




Categories: Daily Prompt, Humor, Nature, New England, Photography, Winter

Tags: , , , , , , ,

29 replies

  1. I start on Medicare in a week. I can’t figure it out for myself, let alone a clone! Imagine the fun with the IRS? https://lilypupslife.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/clone-wars/

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    • Once you get sorted out with Medicare, it’s the best medical plan money can’t buy. You’ll never figure it out from their literature. I don’t know who wrote it, but it’s useless. I wrote that stuff for living and I can’t make head or tail from it. They DO have good telephone support and it’s 24/7, or it used to be. As for getting a clone on Medicare, well, yeah. I had a vision of trying to explain it … to anyone … much less a government bureaucrat. Oicks!

      Like

  2. I don’t need a clone of myself – just clone some Ramons for us all, and that will be fine!

    Like

  3. I’m putting in my order for a Ramon as well. I would like help with a number of things, starting with clearing snow off the driveway, deck and vehicles. We got about four inches last night. Very little compared with what you received up there in New England but still a pain.

    Like

    • There is apparently a huge demand for Ramon. Since trafficking in human beings is currently illegal, immoral, and occasionally fattening. I will have a serious discussion with Ramon, but I am sure he will be agreeable. He’s just a happy, helpful sorta guy. Undemanding. Handsome. Very handsome. My friend in Arizona has put in a request for his twin, Ramona. Her duties will be very light indeed … primarily just to be there and cheer up the place, chase a bit of dust. Yes, we all need Ramon. Or Ramona.

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  4. If you were cloned wouldn’t she start off as a baby? Not that she would be much help. You’d just have to be responsible for her until she grew up. I’m sure you are over that as well. I know I would be.
    Hope someone came out to fix the boiler. The snow in Boston made the news here so I’m guessing that you are copping it too. They said that it was as bad as 1978, thanks to you and Garry I knew what they were talking about!

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    • Boiler fixed. Not a big deal and (fortunately) not expensive. The house is warming up and we have hot water again (yay). Good this place is well-insulated! if it weren’t we’d have been in a freezer a lot sooner. I think WordPress assumes that clones come full grown. They don’t get the “baby” thing. No babies for ME thank you very much! I’m WAY past that. Way way way past.

      Garry assures me this has NOT been as bad as 1978. He covered the blizzard of ’78 and it was the worst. A lot of people died. It wasn’t just the amount of snow. It was the speed at which it fell, how it caught so many people in their cars, at work. This was bad too, but not like that.

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      • Well I’m glad to hear that it wasn’t that bad but I’m sure it was bad enough. I’m glad you are warm again too. I’ll take a Ramon if there are any going spare. Especially if he’s good with tools there are plenty of things that need fixing around here. 🙂

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        • It may not be as bad as ’78, but it has been pretty bad. Part of the reason it hasn’t been quite as bad is because we knew it was coming. Better predictions, more accurate timing. Also better infrastructure. Most places kept power. Much better preparedness on a statewide level, though not good enough, especially in the transportation area. No better than C- (I’m being generous) for transportation. But overall, we knew what was coming, how much, when, and where … which significantly improved everything.

          I think we ALL need Ramon.

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  5. If you find a Ramon, see if he has a clone and send that one to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have a Ramon, known as Mr. Swiss, although it seems he wants a Godiva to help him out and I might scratch her eyes out if she appears, so Houston we will have a problem.

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  7. Maybe they should clone us at birth. Use one for body parts.
    Just kidding … I think.
    And I’m betting this isn’t an original idea.

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  8. I could use Ramon here, too, especially for getting the snow and ice off the roof, and dig out the driveway and sidewalk. Much better than the old guy who’s been trying to do it (bless his senior heart).

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  9. Hey, wait a minute! I give my clone back. I want a Ramon too! :p

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    • Maybe we can clone Ramon! Then there would be enough hims to go around!

      Liked by 2 people

      • I wouldn’t mind a “Ramona”.., same thing only with an “a” at the end and a lean curvy, semi-hard female body. The eye candy alone would be worth the trip.., and who cares is she does any work. Ok I take that back. She could get on her knees and scrub floors, wearing shorts or a sheer gown, while I watch. Is that chauvinistic.., or am I just being a guy? 🙂

        Like

        • You’re being a guy. And human. We take our entertainment and our help where we can. And our boiler just died. And it’s -2 outside, so … gotta go. Hope they can get here to fix it or we are shit outta luck.

          Like

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