LIGHTEN UP, WORDPRESS

Todays’ Daily Prompt: Circle of Five is so dreary, I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to, don’t want to. Can’t. No more. This has become the Daily Angst … or maybe the Daily Downer. So instead, here are some one-liners, a couple of cartoons. Maybe a laugh or a chuckle. I promise there is nothing profound here, not a single life changing revelation in this post. You can relax now.

72-Glow-Snow-3-2_15

The sun is out. It snowed (again) last night and the world looks pretty this morning, even though our car is buried and poor Garry will have to do some digging. Later.

72-Branches-Snow-3-2_08

I’m stressing over needing to get our taxes done … and wondering if we can get there from here because they are even more buried than we are … and that’s pretty buried.

It's a beautiful day ... snow and all ...

It’s a beautiful day … snow and all …

I love jokes. I collect them. If you have something you think is hilarious, send it to me. I’ll save it and when I have enough to fill a page, I’ll post it and we can all enjoy a good laugh. If it’s something you made up yourself, make sure to sign it so I can give credit where it’s due!


Bob-Mankoff-cartoon_660

No moment is more painful than the moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

Does anyone know how to fold a fitted sheet? If you do, will you let me know the secret?

Bad decisions make great stories. If we didn’t make dumb choices, we wouldn’t have great anecdotes. I think that’s what we call a silver lining.

Can we agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I can’t redo my collections again. I replaced records with tapes and tapes with CDs. I’ve replaced videocassettes with DVDs and may never fully embrace Blu-ray. I don’t think I’ll live long enough to go another round.

Sounds like my AT&T Password. And THEN they say "Make it something you find easy to remember."

And make sure it’s something you can easily remember. Right.

I’m always slightly worried when I exit an application and it asks me if I want to save my changes when I’d swear I didn’t make any changes.

Why doesn’t the freezer have a light too? Don’t we need to find stuff in the freezer?

Mental-Health-Humor_cow_500

You want to know how many times you can say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? The answer is three. Try it. You’ll see.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Jeans? Jeans never get dirty. You can wear them forever. After a while, you can train them to come when called.

First Senior Moment

The first senior moment

I used to look at my watch 3 or 4 times in a row and still not grasp the time thing. So I stopped wearing a watch. No more problem.



Categories: Cartoons, Humor

Tags: , , , , ,

43 replies

  1. Thanks for visiting and liking my blog. I love the last cartoon on this lighthearted post!

    Like

    • Thank you 🙂 For a while, WordPress was on a suicide watch. Each prompt was more of a bummer than the one before it. I think you have to be very young to think contemplating all things depressing are fun! I love that last one too. I relate to it!

      Like

  2. I do know how to fold a contour sheet, but now I’m afraid that was just a joke I didn’t “get”!!!!

    Like

    • You are apparently one of a small number of people on earth who do know how. It has eluded me for years … but to be fair, I probably have never shown the dedication necessary to do it right. I can fold a circular table cloth. That must count for something!

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s what happens when you grow up in a town of 700 surrounded by prairie with nothing else to do. My mother could even iron contour sheets on a mangle without ironing in wrinkles!! No doubt a dying if not already dead art.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. “I used to look at my watch 3 or 4 times in a row and still not grasp the time thing. So I stopped wearing a watch.” When people look at their watches, more often than not, they’re checking to see what time it’s not, rather than what time it is.

    Like

    • There’s a thought. True. Or trying to figure out how much time we have until some kind of deadline — till the show starts, the train comes, the roast will be ready. The pizza guy will be here. All the little deadlines of life. Never thought about it, but you’re right.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great pick me up, thanks. Yes I must admit the Daily Post is becoming a bit dull. Insight doesn’t have to be dreary and depressing. I sometimes take what is written and make it something more fun. It doesn’t always fit with the topic, but who cares. it’s my Blog, right?

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    • Usually, I can twist it into something else, but this one … maybe it’s just one depressing subject over the line. For whatever reason, I couldn’t do it this time. They are so young, up at WordPress. They seem to think that anything meaningful has to also be depressing. Ah youth.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I can empathise with your angst towards WordPress, I am finding myself cutting myself short recently. Thanks for the cartoons!

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  6. The part about nodding and smiling three times because you don’t understand what was said is dead on!

    Like

  7. Funny video about fitted sheets. The secret is folding the corners into each other. Take one corner put a finger in it then grab the other corner and place over it. Do that so you have all four corners over that finger. Lay it down and smooth out to a rectangle. Then fold as a rectangle.
    Leslie

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  8. Got a sled? Maybe the doggies could tow you to the tax people. Either that, or get a snowmobile. I could see Garry zipping along in the snow, with the music “Born To Be Wild” playing. *giggling*

    The Byronic Man did a hilarious video about how to properly fold a fitted sheet. Worth a look when you’ve got time.

    Like

    • Yes, I saw that video and I laughed because that’s pretty much our method too 🙂 Snowmobile or dog sled doesn’t seem as bizarre as it ought to. A lot of people have been using snow shoes and cross-country skis. In Boston.

      I’m weary of it. It makes everything difficult and it is COLD out there. And sometimes, in here, too. Winter started late, but it sure has made up for lost time.

      Like

      • It reminds me of that movie “The Day After Tomorrow” when water and snow coated NY. At least there are no derelict ships passing over the streets of Boston. Yet.

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        • If all of this melts at once, we will need a boat. Here and in Boston. I’m really hoping, wishing really hard for a moderate melting without torrential rains. It will be better for everything — including the aquifer. One way or another, we are going to be living in a sea of mud for a while, but it would be nice if we don’t also flood!

          Like

  9. So true about the fitted sheet. Impossible to fold. Here’s a link to a joke that a Rabbi told me in 1984 while I was working as an organizer of the Pope’s visit to Montreal. https://dcmontreal.wordpress.com/2013/08/23/weekend-golf-joke/

    Like

  10. Loved the dinosaurs the best 🙂

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  11. Last one, hehe, deeeeeep snow.

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  12. Awesome! You have just solved several of life’s challenges for me 😉

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  13. I thought this prompt was dreary and boring the first time round and now to the answers, but this might take time.
    folding a fitted sheet, no problem, the problem is explaining. fold it in half long ways and put the round bits at the corners into the round bits in the other corners. Now you have a neat half square. Take one side and fold it one third across. Take the other side and fold again one third across. Nowyou have half length and one third width. Just fold it again from bottom to top and put it in the cupboard. Hope you get what I mean. Even Mr. Swiss can do that.

    I don’t even understand blue ray, that is a Mr. Swiss thing.

    Freezers do not seem to need internal illumination, but my new dishwasher has two lamps inside, brilliant. Now I can actually see where to put the dirty dishes.

    My surroundings are illuminated with time, so much so, that I no longer know where to look. I have to wear a watch, it is part of the Swiss uniform. I noticed if Mr. Swiss meets someone new, he can always tell me what sort of watch he or she was wearing, but forget their name.

    Jeans get loose where you wear them too long without washing, and you have to make sure the belt keeps them around the waist. One advantage of washing them now and again. On the other hand I only wear them three times a week when they let me out, so I don’t have to wash them so much.

    Like

    • We fold the fitted sheets, but they never come out neat. Garry and I have solved the problem by putting them directly back on the bed. Voila! No folding required.

      I absolutely could not do the Daily Prompt today. Too dreary. Usually, I can dredge up something, but this time, nothing. I didn’t even want to try.

      I wore a watch all the time for most of my life. About a year ago, I developed an itching rash on my wrist. Just the wrist where I wear a watch. I had developed an allergic reaction to my watch. No kidding. I had to take it off. Every once in a while, I put it back on, but then the rash comes back. I can’t even wear a bracelet on my left wrist. I guess I’m “out of time.” it turns out this is not so uncommon. Skin gets sensitive, but I think it’s weird.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I still haven’t figured out my way around their last changes – now I can’t even their option to revert to what existed before – which was better. They seem somewhat like bureaucrats: if they don’t change something they fear it will be discovered that their existence isn’t necessary.

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  15. It’s amazing how much use we get out of our grundgy house wear before they go into the laundry hamper. I do the sniff test. I’ve pretty much gotten use to dog hair on house clothing. I no longer wear my watch every day. I used to be a GQ man. How the mighty have fallen in retirement. I love it!

    Like

Trackbacks

  1. The Daily Prompt #10: Circle of Five | Laissez Faire
  2. A pastor, a rapper, a President, a writer and a wife. | The Hempstead Man
  3. One-Liner Wednesday — What time is it not? | Mindful Digressions

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