REASONS I STOPPED FOLLOWING OR DON’T COMMENT

The Daily Prompt wants a list. I did a version of this a couple of weeks ago, but it has changed. It’s half a rerun, half a rewrite.

72-Plant-light-Sunday-0419_06

I’ve had to be away from the computer a lot in the past month. My email — the daily deluge of notifications, comments, advertising, and occasionally messages from friends — is overwhelming me. I thought I’d cut back a bit. Write fewer posts. Read a bit less.

It don’t like deleting notifications without reading them, but necessity triumphed. Nonetheless, I decided to try hosting a twice a week prompt. I think maybe I underestimated how much time it would involve. I may have erred on the side of “you’re kidding, right?”

72-Computer-in-use_01

All of this got me thinking about why I follow and comment some sites, but not others. Following are the top reasons I don’t comment and/or follow your blog:

1) You get dozens of comments. If I have to scroll past two dozen comments before I can comment, you won’t miss me, especially if all I was going to say was “Great post!”

2) You’re a photographer. I’m a photographer. I can love your pictures, but not have anything to say about them.

3) I liked your post, but I’m late to the dance. Everyone has already said everything there is to say. If I have nothing new to add, I’m won’t say anything. If you allow “Likes,” I’ll leave one.

4) I hated your post, but I like you. If I have nothing nice to say, I won’t say anything. I try not to be over-critical. And anyway, I don’t have to agree or like everything you write.

5) If you post one picture per post 12 times a day, consider putting out two posts with six pictures each. I get buried by notifications, and comments. If you post that often, you become spam. Beloved, but spam.

6) If I’ve been following you for months and you never visit my site, I’ll stop following you. It’s insulting. You don’t need to read every word I write, but if you never visit, you will lose me. I have recently unfollowed half a dozen (more?) worthy bloggers who never felt compelled to find out what I’m doing. Respect means showing interest in other people’s work.

7) You write about one topic only. All the time. It is your passion, but there are other things which matter to me. I can’t read on the same subject every day, even if I agree.

8) You’ve got a problem. Your blog is where you let your feelings be known. First, I will be sympathetic. Then I’ll try to help. Eventually, I’ll give up. You are free to complain. I’m free to not listen. At some point, you have to move on. See number 7.

9) You’ve had a “sense-of-humorectomy.” You used to be funny. Now you’re a ranter. I have a limited capacity for rage, even my own. I get mad, but I get over it. After I stop being angry, I find my drama funny. If you can’t get past your rage, I’ll get over you.

10) More than half your posts are re-blogs. I follow you because I like you. We all reblog some stuff but if re-blogs are your primary material, I’ll pass.

11) I don’t have time. Today, I can’t make your party. I apologize. The clock ran out.

12) You write about stuff in which I have no interest. A sport I never follow. Books I’ll never read. Movies I won’t watch. I’ll wait for a while to see if you will move on, but after a while, I’ll give up. Our interests have diverged.

13) Your posts are too long. You love your words and I sympathize. I love mine, too, but I have learned to cut and cut some more. I run out of steam after 1000 words. Sometimes less.

14) You don’t respond to my comments. First, I’ll stop commenting. Then, I’ll stop reading. When I remember, I’ll stop following.

72-Yellow Car-Sunny Day_031

LET ME LIKE YOU

I love dialogue, but it’s a mistake to demand comments from every visitor. I think we should take our “Likes” and be glad. It means people are visiting. I don’t expect everyone to comment, though I appreciate an occasional word so I know you are there.

That’s it for today. I am going to take some Excedrin and have a second cuppa coffee.



Categories: Blogging, Humor

Tags: , , ,

57 replies

  1. king Solomon wrote about significant times in our life in his Ecclesiastes. I wonder if her would have included “time to blog” if he was around today. Just a thought. We all only have so much time in life,

    Regards and goodwill blogging.

    Like

  2. I tend to comment on other blogs a lot. Not just complimenting on lovely photos. I also enjoy reading about what is on the news, a music blog and of course your blog. I feel bad about not replying to comments left on my blog. There is nothing worse than getting responses a couple of weeks later and you have long forgotten what the blog was about. I am trying to be a bit more up to date but sometimes I run out of time. Your blogging etiquette is spot on.

    Like

    • I try to keep up. I miss a few, usually because it comes in late and I forget to check back. I hope everyone forgives me. It is never intentional, but it happens. I like connecting with other people too. Without it, it’s like shouting into a black hole. You don’t know if anyone heard you.

      Like

  3. I keep hoping to try your prompt, but with being out 11 hours a day mostly sitting at work in front of a computer and with my other two writing prompts to do, and now some photography as well… hopefully I’ll be able to try one soon!
    I feel the same way about reblogs. Occasionally I find someone else’s blog to follow through them, but mostly I’m interested in the work of the person I’m following.

    Like

    • Don’t worry about it. I think I’m going to take it down to once a week anyway (probably Wednesday because, well, it’s in the middle). I’m not sure why I did this. I remind me of my little dog Nan. She is 15 and deaf. Going blind. Isn’t always sure who we are or for that matter, who she is. Which is why sometimes, in the middles of attempting to go down the stairs, she decides she can fly and leaps into the air. It’s super dog … splat. I try to grab her and not let her go down on her own. Every time she splats, my guilt level goes off the charts.

      That’s how I decided to create a prompt. I thought I was super blogger. Splat.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. With a blog as popular as yours, it’s incredible that you take the time to like our comments and even reply to them. And also to visit us and do the same on our posts. Some days are harder than others to keep up. Totally get your 14 points.

    Like

  5. Love it. I love the part about wading through a sea of comments to put down your, “great post.” So true and back when I was rigidly going through so many blogs I found it to be the norm. Again, congrats on the Freshly Pressed. If I’m way overdue on noticing, mea culpa, I’m not used to visiting anyone’s blog after working for the slave master publication that had me chained down for over 18 months. Cannot begin to say how pleased I am!!!!

    Like

    • Sort of wanted you back as a friend, not just as one of my worries. You are beginning to sound a little better. I’m hoping you’ve passed through the worst of your travails. I hope I’ve passed through the worst of mine, too. We all deserve a respite. Miss you!

      Like

  6. I did wonder if your twice-a-week prompt would prove to be too much work, but I’ll stick with it as long as you do.

    As for #10 on your list – feel free to skip my blog on Mondays since that has been designated guest post and re-blog day (mine and other people’s). I’ll understand. (But anyone else reading this comment does NOT have permission to skip my blog, ever!)

    Like

    • I’m thinking of trying just once a week, but I’ need a little time to work it out. Find a rhythm. See if I can fit what I usually do into a slightly altered framework.

      I try to get to everyone, even if just to skim it. But that does depend on what else is going on in my life. I need to get out to take pictures, run errands, take a drive and smell the flowers. Have a conversation. Cook. Eat. Read. Edit pictures. Write.

      Writing takes a lot of time. From when I get up — after I finish doing doggy stuff and making the coffee, washing whatever dishes were left in the sink from the previous night — I light up the computer, answer some comments, then I start to write, either a prompt or because I have an idea brewing. By the time I’m done writing, it’s late, often past 3 in the afternoon. Writing takes up to 5 or 6 hours of my day. I write quickly, but I edit slowly and often, I take pictures to illustrate what I’m writing and I process them, too. Somewhere in there, I need to make a few phone calls, answer a few too. Pay some bills. Open mail, answer mail, answer email (there’s no end to email). This is before doing anything else, like eating lunch. I often forget to eat lunch until it’s nearly dinner time.

      If I wrote less, I’d have more time, but writing is my main thing and I don’t want to give it up. It’s complicated. I need to spend less time on the computer, but that’s where I write … kind of a Catch-22.

      Like

      • Ok, so you need to trim down to just a few things, and you cannot cut the writing. So, maybe you should just feed and hug the dogs, write, take photos & read my blog. Let Garry do everything else. LOL

        (Well, of course, Garry can read my blog, too, but that wouldn’t save you much time.)

        PS: I thought retirement was supposed to be relaxing!

        Like

        • I think when you are a type A personality, LIFE isn’t relaxing. I need to be busy or I get weird … but I also need time off. I tend to over-commit to projects, double book my time, over-think everything. And that isn’t because I’m retired. It’s me being me.

          Liked by 1 person

  7. You know you’re doing something right when your post is as engaging as the comments section, lol.

    Personally, I also have a pet peeve with folks who post often but rarely interact with their readers. Feels way too one-sided. So I’ll follow/like you for a season then move on. There are so many talented voices in the blogosphere that you’re right, someone else can meet that need.

    Like

  8. I think I will understand if I don’t hear from you, but I will protest. 🙂

    Like

    • I really try very hard to keep up, but I think I’m going to have to slow down a little bit, just so I can stop and breathe. (Breathe, breathe, breathe.)

      Liked by 1 person

      • Blogging, reading and writing became a part in my everyday life. I can’t wait to have my life back to normal, so I will have enough time throughout the day to do what I love. However, I feel like I might be more active in winter and fall and not so much in spring and during the summer time.

        Like

      • Even though I don’t read them all, more than a few have caught my eye. It helps that we’ve been friends for what.., 50years? And I miss talking to you face to face. But frankly I don’t see how you do it.., keep up with them all? Truth is your posts are usually so interesting, and i’m pretty busy, that if I only got one a week I’d be a lot easier on me. So I can’t imagine that cutting back wouldn’t be easier on you as well. Take your time.., yeah I know “stream-of-consciousness” etc. I call it mental/oral diarrhea.., it’s gotta come out. Good luck

        Like

        • It’s not just that because I’m blogging, it is that I need to write. I always have. When I don’t write, I feel like a piece of me has gone missing.

          I miss you too. It’s hard that all the people with whom we used to hang out now live so far away. To a degree, blogging compensates a bit for the isolation. Nothing makes up for not seeing friends, but email and other electronic communications make us feel less alone.

          We cancelled our Maine vacation for mid May. When I called the place this morning, IT WAS SNOWING. It has, apparently, been snowing every day, a little bit, but still snowing. Snow is predicted for every day this week. Garry turned pale at the idea. So she will look for an availability later in the summer or in the fall. We hope for the best. Neither of us wanted to go to anyplace where it might SNOW. We’ve had quite enough winter.

          And meanwhile, I write. I’m actually writing less. I do a lot of reworking of posts from last year or the year before. I have 3,500 posts. I figure I might as well make use of the material.

          Like

          • Garry turning pale.., now there’s a trick. Wow, reworking old posts.., that could keep you busy writing for a while and provide an opportunity to re-think some things…

            Like

            • I’ve used old posts a lot. They usually end up very different than they were originally. The original post gives me a framework and a jumping off point, but it never comes out the same. I change the pictures, too. I see you have a site too. That’s how I started. I was following someone and I had this free blog. After about a year, I posted something. Then, I messed around, wrote something. Forgot it for a month. Wrote something else. Got a few hits, which encouraged me to post a few pictures. Got a few “likes.” Posted a few MORE pictures. Thought I’d never run out of pictures … but needed a new camera anyway 🙂 And so it began …

              Like

  9. I remember the first time round. Sometimes there does not seem to be enough time in the day to do it all, but we do our best and for you I always have time.

    Like

    • I am unrealistic about my own ability to get stuff done. I am always sure I can do it all, but I run out of time — or steam. Then it starts piling up and the more it builds, the less I want to deal with it. I need to be better about NOT committing to things if I’m not sure I can do it. To be fair, this is not a new problem. It’s a very old and familiar problem.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. CRISPY post. Well conveyed.

    Like

  11. I have 600 unread letters in my email. Grrrrrr. I’ll never catch up. Most are worthy of a comment, but I just can’t get there. Then folks get their feelings hurt (he’s ignoring me waaaaa!) Damn. If you go for just a week you are up to your neck. So I just go to the front of the line (outta my way!) and try to work my way back … but often don’t make it.
    Have a nice day. LoL!

    Like

  12. I love #s 3, 5, 6 and 13. Very well said. Thank you.

    Like

  13. Excellent points! I rarely solicit comments (ending w/ a question), mostly because I’m writing to share/reflect. If someone feels inclined to comment, then thank you, but gosh, I don’t know how folks keep up with all those comments. I’m kind of a quiet person -feels ‘noisy’ to me. 😊

    Like

  14. Garry’s comment is just too funny!
    Yes, you have itemized it perfectly. I do agree!
    Leslie

    Like

  15. I had never thought about the reasons why I follow and or comment on blog posts our note. I appreciate the way you articulated what I find myself doing also. Thank you!

    Like

  16. Great list. I agree with all, but I am glad you addressed #6. I don’t expect comment-for-comment, follow-for-follow, but I expect some sort of interaction.

    Now, obviously, some people have things happening offline where they can’t interact as often or other things come up (or when I go through my major depressive periods…though I try to post about those so I can let y’all know). Those aren’t the ones I am talking about. If someone takes months between posts, I will be notified, say hi, and pick back up with the normal read and commenting pattern. If you post everyday and I am not commenting anymore, chances are others spoke up to fill the silence you were giving in return.

    Like

    • I had some people that with whom I actively engaged and they told me they didn’t have the time to read other peoples’ blogs. It was okay in the beginning, but after a while, I thought more about it and realized it was an insult. Okay, not daily, but once in a while? Never? Really?

      Yes, there are people who are rare/intermittent bloggers. That’s okay. I’m visit them when they are “on” and usually, they drop by too. But these other people are multiple time per day posters, but never step outside to read anyone else. I decided that the needs to be a minimal level of reciprocity or it just doesn’t work for me.

      Disconnection can be a slow slide and involve more than one factor. It’s often a bunch of stuff that originally were no big deal, but have a cumulative effect.

      Liked by 3 people

  17. Wow, Is that the yellow car I see?? I thought it was carried off by the winter of discontent.

    Liked by 1 person

Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Touring My Backyard

Rediscovering Singapore

Our Eyes Open

Come along on an adventure with us!

Travel with me

Travel snapshots from Toonsarah

Thoughts & Theories

My Personal Rants, Ravings, & Ruminations

France & Vincent

Writing Magic, Myth and Mystery

Barb Taub

Writing & Coffee. Especially coffee.

This, That, and The Other

Random musings on life, society, and politics.

Keep it alive

A look at life, achieving good physical and mental health and happiness

Covert Novelist

Light Hearted Mysteries

Salted Caramel

Blogging, Motivation, Lifestyle and much more.

Sarah's Attic Of Treasures

Making My Home A Haven is important to me. Sharing homemaking skills. Recipes and food. Bible Studies. This is a treasure chest of goodies. So take a seat. Have a glass of tea and enjoy. You will learn all about who I am.

Green Screen

The Environmental Movie Podcast

bushboys world

Photos of my world and other stuff I hope you will enjoy too. Photos taken with Canon PowershotSX70HS Photos can be purchased.

musingsofanoldfart

Independent views from someone who offers some historical context

My Blog

Just another WordPress.com site

National Day Calendar

Fun, unusual and forgotten designations on our calendar.

Cee's Photo Challenges

Teaching the art of composition for photography.

Trent's World (the Blog)

Random Ramblings and Reviews from Trent P. McDonald

Views from the Edge

To See More Clearly

serial monography: forgottenman's ruminations

wandering discourse, pedantic rant, self-indulgent drivel, languorous polemic, grammarian's bête noire, poesy encroachment approaching bombast, unintended subtext in otherwise intentional context, unorthodox unorthodoxy, self-inflected rodomontade, …

draliman on life

Because sometimes life just makes you stop and think

The English Professor at Large

Posts about old Hollywood, current concerns

sparksfromacombustiblemind

EMBERS FROM SOMEONE DOGGEDLY TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL...

THE SHINBONE STAR

NO LONGER ENCUMBERED BY ANY SENSE OF FAIR PLAY, EX-JOURNALISTS RETURN TO ACTIVE DUTY TO FIGHT THE TRUMPIAN MENACE!

Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

Welcome to the Anglo Swiss World

ScienceSwitch

Your Source For The Coolest Science Stories

A Day In The Life

People, Places, Nature, LIFE!

%d bloggers like this: