DO OVER

What Would You Change?  by Rich Paschall

If you could do your life over, what would you change?  Would you choose a different career?  Would you choose a different house or apartment?  Would you consider living in another town?  Another part of the country? A foreign country?

Would you travel more?  Would you see other towns, other regions, other countries?  Do you have adventures that remain unfulfilled?  Do you wish to do more exciting things?

Here’s a big one for you to consider.  Would you change your mate?  Would you have more or fewer children?  Would you stay single or get married, depending on what you current circumstance is?

Many people like to say that they would not change a thing.  They would do everything the same way.  Some say this defiantly so, as if defending the life that they have led.  It may be just a front, however, for some family or friends.  Would we really do things the same way?

No matter what we insist to others, we all have made mistakes that we regret.  Would we not change these mistakes, if only we had the chance?  Would we not make better choices if we had the chance to choose again?

Do you recall the statement you said you wish you could take back because it was insensitive?  Do you recall the gossip that you took part in, only to realize later that it was just a way to put down a coworker, neighbor, or family member that you just did not like at the time?  Wouldn’t the passage of time make us wise enough to refrain from such things?  If we took part in these things with the knowledge of our lifetimes in front of us, would we not take a different course?

Perhaps you have seen the article, frequently reposted on social media (I have seen it a number of times, anyway), that talks about The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. These were collected by a nurse and published in a book.  It is summarized on Collective Evolution website. The list, of course, indicates that if these people could live their lives again, they would not take the same paths.  When they looked back from death’s door, there was plenty to change.

Top on the list was having the courage to live your own life, rather than that which was expected.  As we grow up, there are expectation of parents, grandparents, other family members, teachers and community about what we should do in life.  Our roles are frequently defined by others and we, as loyal children and friends, take the path expected of us.  Would we now decide on “The Road Not Taken?”

Every male patient regretted that they had not worked so hard.  They missed family events or other adventure while they worked extra hours.  From the perspective of the end of life, the choice was clearly a wrong one.  Yes, many need to work harder to support their family, but did we choose work, when another choice would have been better on a particular day?

Many wished they had the courage to express their true feelings, or that they had stayed in touch with old friends, or that they allowed themselves to be happier.  Perhaps they regretted all of these things.  So I ask the question again, what would you change if only you could?

If time and health are on your side, then you can still do many of the things you missed earlier.  You can still make amends for bad choices, thus undoing some mistakes of the past.  Of course, we can not now change everything, but that is no reason to be sad about the past.  We can use what we learned to move forward with better choices.

I think the desire to make up for missing some things in the past is one of the emotions that gives rise to the “Bucket List.”  Of course, you may put things on the list that are new to your thought processes, but how many of the things you would list would actually be things you feel you missed out on in the past?  Is there some adventure you should have pursued in the past that you can still do now?

While there are many decisions I regret from the past, and some that I regret now actually, I have one basic problem with a “Do Over.” If I had made different choices in the past, would I still end up in the same place? You see, there are many things about the present I like as they are.  If I had gone a different route, would I eliminate some of the things I like about the today?  Would some of my close friends be missing?  Of course, I would not know they were missing if I had gone another way.

Friends meet up in Strasbourg
Friends meet up in Strasbourg

My jobs in recent years have allowed me to make new friends in other countries.  In fact, one of my best friends lives in France.  We have travelled to France, Germany and England together as well as much of the USA.  I can not now imagine a life that does not include him.  I never thought of these travels or friendships when I was young, so I could not have consciously made the choice to end up where I am.

Because of my love of my current adventures and friends, I guess I really do not want a “Do Over.”  I just hope the knowledge I have gained from past mistakes will allow me to make better choices in the future.

From where you are right now, do you wish to go on with the knowledge you have gained, or would you rather have a “Do Over” realizing it may take you to a different place?

Author: Rich Paschall

When the Windows Live Spaces were closed and our sites were sent to Word Press, I thought I might actually write a regular column. A couple years ago I finally decided to try out a weekly entry for a year and published something every Sunday as well as a few other dates. I reached that goal and continued on. I hope you find them interesting. They are my Sunday Night Blog. Thanks to the support of Marilyn Armstrong you may find me from time to time on her blog space, SERENDIPITY. Rich Paschall Education: DePaul University, Northeastern Illinois University Employment: Air freight professional

16 thoughts on “DO OVER”

      1. Rich, I loved my job! It took me many places, allowed me to cover amazing stories and legendary people in all walks of life. It also enabled me to meet and often socialize with larger than life people who are mostly all gone now.
        Early on I wanted to be a baseball player, writer and movie star. My athletic skills were woeful. But my job enabled me to dabble on the periphery of movies and indulge in writing some TV news pieces that I think are okay.
        As for travelling, I’ve done a fair amount for work and pleasure. But I still yearn to see the South Sea Islands and Australia.
        I didn’t get married til I was 48. Too old, I felt, to be a parent and still not really mature enough to be a husband. I’m still working on that.
        Finally, I don’t really need a do over because people still come up to me and say, “I grew up watching you on television”.
        My ego is stroked and my day is made.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thanks, as always, for sharing. It is great that you got to meet so many people in your career. I only met a few around town. I can’t say I saw you on television, unless you count You Tube!

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  1. A do over would be like taking a puzzle apart and trying to put it together again to make a different scene. Thought provoking conversation because I can’t imagine there is one human being on this planet who doesn’t have some things they wish they had done differently but would also not want to disturb some other parts of their life. It’s hopefully a long journey through life and we learn as we go without the luxury of a do over. 🙂 Enjoyed the post.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have traveled a lot. So that was fun. I had some places I had always wanted to see – standing in the middle of Red Square was one, visiting East Germany before the wall came down was another. The only thing I really regret is marrying my second husband. He was such a waste of my life. Interesting post

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  3. This is a good question. I think in my college years If I could do over, I would be more engaging to solve complex issues that arise and build up more personal networks perhaps. Otherwise I look at the Serenity Prayer “Accept the things I cannot change, Change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.”

    Liked by 1 person

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