I have to thank my husband and his classy friends for bringing this important holiday to my attention. I have long felt that the morons, jerks, and assholes in our lives were not getting the recognition they deserve.
Often ignored and disrespected, this is a special day, dedicated to them all. The assholes we love, the ones we meet on the street. The ones we worked with and for. To all assholes everywhere, this is for you.
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Categories: Humor
THE RUSSIANS IN LIBERTY 
TOO MANY COMMENTS? 
PUT THE FORK DOWN AND BACK AWAY FROM THE TABLE … 
WHAT USED TO BE 
SERENDIPITY - SEEKING INTELLIGENT LIFE ON EARTH 
I knew I was so important in Garry’s life! I finally figured out why and how! Thanks Marilyn!!!!!
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You are more than welcome 🙂 I’m always willing to celebrate friendship!!
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It has been a buy day here today. I worked and I worked trying to move an entire load of mulch. I got about 90% done and couldn’t stand up straight so had to quit. And, here I am with ice bags on my back reading this post and laughing hysterically. Oh my, who knew there was a special day for them. If only I’d known, maybe I could have made some cards and sent them. LOL
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Maybe next year we can plan ahead. Garry sent me the post this morning and it hit my funny bone. Then we took the drive from hell. I don’t know what possessed us to plan on driving into Boston on Friday afternoon. Are we insane? Going anywhere in New England on Friday afternoon is nuts. They are all out there. My back is gone too as is Garry’s. Four hours in bumper to bumper traffic will do that to anyone. But Garry was very good. He didn’t yell, didn’t scream. He had white knuckles, but he hung on in there until we finally staggered home. At least it wasn’t raining.
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I was close, SO CLOSE, to becoming the perp of the week who’d turned his life around but we finally got home after yesterday’s hideous day in traffic. Yes, I am that quiet guy who’d never hurt a fly.
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I possibly jinxed us by posting this. Self-fulfilling prophecy????
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Ya think, Probie?
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I do think. Therefore, I am.
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Funny, I was just conversing with another friend on this very topic.., didn’t know there was an official holiday devoted to “Assholes” though? I prefer to use “Annal Aperture” when referring to this group.., but let’s call a spade a spade eh? I reminded him that a “hole” is an empty space, and that what ever gave it substance was merely an imaginary peripheral boundary, which just defined how big an asshole he/she is. Apparently, according to my friend, there are several different sizes, and shapes…, Who knew? I’m probing into it a little more and will get back to you. Wow! it’s really dark in here… 🙂
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… As well as some actually emitting fire…?
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Fire only if you just ate my chili. Otherwise, just keep away from open flames 🙂
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Anal Aperture? Call a spade a spade? You’re on a roll, Ben. Some of my best friends fall into the group we hail.
Actually, the “holiday” was first posted by a former colleague who I affectionately dubbed “Mongo” many years ago…with good reason. I used to bring movies to keep my “truck” crew happy when working the “dawn patrol” shift. They discovered Mel Brooks as I slaved away on stories.
I was pawn in game of life.
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Lovable Anal Apertures.., it’s possible. I believe I have a few of those in my “friendship” roster as well.
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Lol. I am thinking especially of my ex-husband.
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So many of us are.
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However, only a limited selection of us have these.. er.. ex-Husbands. Do ex-wives count?
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Maybe that didn’t come out very well. Hard to not put ones foot in the mouth now and then.
Leslie
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I would have thought you would have a lot of responses to that one. Chuckle.
Leslie
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We just spent more than four hours in bumper to bumper traffic … and all we did was pick up my prescription. ALL the assholes were out. Every single one.
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I’m not sure if this award should not specifically go to whoever at wordpress thought it a good notion to mess with the reader facility. It wasn’t great before, but now it’s all over the place.
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How gratifying it is that I never USE the reader. They can’t disappoint me any more. I won’t let them. They really are a pack of morons, though. Maybe assholes is a more apt description.
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Only ONE DAY? I thought it was a daily celebration-at least it is in my world. There are assholes everywhere, every single day of the year, from the idiot driver who rolled through the stop sign cutting me off WHILST texting!! (which I could see ‘cos I was walking) to the preachy clerk at Vons who just HAS to engage everyone in a longwinded diatribe about the LORD and his bible study class to the stupid instructor at the gym who really doesn’t know– and shouldn’t teach– anything.
It’s 365 around here…
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True, too true. But the celebration would lose its specialness if it ran all the time. Perhaps if we were to set aside an hour a day in which we ponder the assholes we know and those we have yet to meet … ?
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I suppose you might be right, in that case, let me ponder the city council assholes I’ll be seeing tomorrow as we fight to save open space…
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Today we got a full measure of road rage assholes, from the asshole with the huge confederate flag on his truck, to the cop supposedly directing traffic but actually, blocking it … to the rubberneckers who just HAD to take a good long look at the accident … to all the orange cones supposedly to protect road worker. But there weren’t any workers. Just blocked lanes. FOUR HOURS OF DRIVING TO PICK UP A PRESCRIPTION. It was a loooooong afternoon.
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I hope, for your sake, that tomorrow doesn’t bring a rerun of that level of frustration.
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We aren’t going anywhere. That’s always a big help. I swear, traffic keeps getting worse. Just when I think it can’t GET any worse, it’s worse. It’s been getting steadily worse for 25 years. More, probably.
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I think EVERYTHING is getting worse and nothing is as bad as distracted drivers.
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Garry made a similar comment. He said that it’s not just that there’s more traffic, but they are so distracted with all the different devices. I guess that’s true. There are also easily twice as many cars as there were. Everyone has two, three, four cars. No one car pools. Everyone drives solo. The roads can’t handle it and on a Friday afternoon in the summer, everyone is going somewhere.
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Not me, I’m in the garden, planting Evening Primrose and watching one of our freeways north of us burn up in a freak fire. Look at all those cars not going anywhere now…
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If we hadn’t found a back route home, I think we would still be out there, sitting in the car, waiting.
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I don’t know…I don’t like those systems where everyone gets a reward just for “participating”. 😀
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Neither do I, but I think we need to hold assholes to a different standard. Lower. Much lower.
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Just noticed this is an encore presentation. Always glad to help.
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