In my late twenties, we had friends in their 50s. One day I asked Betty at what point she had felt “grown up.” By then, I was thirty-ish, working full-time, raising a son, taking care of a home and married for ten years. I figured I ought to feel grown up.


Betty looked at me and said “I’ll let you know when it happens.”

When I was a kid, I remember wondering when I’d feel grown up. What the “magic moment” would be. Through my working years, I never fully stopped feeling I was pretending to be an adult. I did adult things, had adult responsibilities. I was a mother, a boss, a career person. In charge of forming my son into a responsible citizen … but I felt like a child myself.

Having a child made me responsible, but not mature. 

Now, I’m a senior citizen. I’m grown up. I don’t know when it happened or why. I never noticed the transition, but  I’m not pretending anything. I’m just me, whatever that means.

It didn’t change anything. Funny how things work out.


It’s Garry’s fault. He asked me a simple, reasonable, yes or no question.

“Do you have anything to wear to the wedding?”


Of course I have something to wear … don’t I? The next morning, I went through my closet. I couldn’t find anything to wear to a wedding. It seems everything I own is casual except stuff that’s old and dated. I’m not even sure it fits.

Garry HOF on stage

Surely there was something. Nope. I looked at the calendar again and realized there were only a few days to order a dress and have it delivered — even with super fast delivery. If we had some place local I could buy a “nice” dress, I’d go, but all we have is Kohl’s. They don’t have dresses because apparently, no one around here wears them, or they shop at Walmart.

Marilyn with shawl

Except for a couple of weeks before prom week, no store anywhere in the Valley stocks anything dressier than business casual. It’s a fact. You can buy jeans and tee-shirts. Cold weather gear. Even boots. But dressy? Uh uh.

So, off I surfed to Land’s End and bought  a dress. I hope it fits. Unwillingly, I coughed up the extra bucks for speedy shipping. Found another nice dress at J.Jill. Didn’t pay for speedy shipping. Presumably, at least one dress will arrive in time. If not, I’ll improvise.


It is entirely Garry’s fault. If he hadn’t asked, I wouldn’t have thought about it. I would have assumed that there was something in the closet … and I’d have to improvise … which is still plan B.

Oh piffle. I suppose I have to think about shoes too …



It was a beautiful day with puffy white clouds against a bright, blue sky.


Saguaro Storm 06


Or perhaps an overcast day, with clouds threatening a storm that may or may not materialize.


misty morning 1

You can’t have a beautiful sunset or sunrise without clouds because it is the clouds which give a the rays of light color, a palette.


And sometimes, the blue sky is unbroken … not a cloud in the sky.