ROAD TRIP!

“Oh shut up. Can’t you kids ever stop squabbling back there? I’m going to put both of you on a time out, I swear I am.”

“But MOM, he TOUCHED ME!”

“Loretta, I am going to touch you and then you will have reason to cry. Joey, leave your sister alone.”

72-BW-Poster-ROADS_02

Voice of boy child with strong adenoidal whine: “But MOOOOOOM, she’s taking up the whole back seat and I can’t help touching her. And why can’t I touch her? She touches me all the time.”

“She does what??”

“I do not”

“Do too.”

“DO NOT!@!”

{Long pause.}

In a whisper: “Do too.”

“Do not.”

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A booming baritone from the front seat, the Voice of Dad, speaks: “One more word out of either of you and I will stop this car and you will both be crying and you’ll have a damned good reason.”

{Whispers}

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

{Pause, pause, pause}

The sound of vomiting fills the car along with a sickening and pungent odor.

“Ew. Yuk. MOM he barfed all over me! Make him clean it up.”

Chorus:

“ARE WE THERE YET?”


This show has been brought to you by Happy Family, the breakfast cereal that’s got it all … sugar, food dye, trans-fat, and gluten.

And no, we are not there yet.

Author: Marilyn Armstrong

Opinionated writer with hopes for a better future for all of us!

16 thoughts on “ROAD TRIP!”

    1. It’s a little bit of every car trip we took with kids when we were younger … and the trips I took with parents when i was just another youthful back seat passenger, squabbling with my brother. And occasionally, throwing up.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My elder boy used to throw while we moved from one place to another. We moved so much when he was a kid. Tarun got all his courses during his childhood days and we used to drive from one state to another every four months.

        Like

  1. That’s a classic car trip. We’ve been there many times. I hear the newer cars have WIFI and screens on the back of the seats. Do you think it has made a difference?
    Leslie

    Like

  2. I must admit I laughed at this but only because I’ve been there and done that. A 1,000 mile drive to Orlando, FL with two teens in the back seat was enough for me. I swear I wanted to kill them. “Mom, Bret’s breathing my air”!

    Like

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