“Oh shut up. Can’t you kids ever stop squabbling back there? I’m going to put both of you on a time out, I swear I am.”


“Loretta, I am going to touch you and then you will have reason to cry. Joey, leave your sister alone.”


Voice of boy child with strong adenoidal whine: “But MOOOOOOM, she’s taking up the whole back seat and I can’t help touching her. And why can’t I touch her? She touches me all the time.”

“She does what??”

“I do not”

“Do too.”

“DO NOT!@!”

{Long pause.}

In a whisper: “Do too.”

“Do not.”


A booming baritone from the front seat, the Voice of Dad, speaks: “One more word out of either of you and I will stop this car and you will both be crying and you’ll have a damned good reason.”


“Do not.”

“Do too.”

{Pause, pause, pause}

The sound of vomiting fills the car along with a sickening and pungent odor.

“Ew. Yuk. MOM he barfed all over me! Make him clean it up.”



This show has been brought to you by Happy Family, the breakfast cereal that’s got it all … sugar, food dye, trans-fat, and gluten.

And no, we are not there yet.

Author: Marilyn Armstrong

Opinionated writer with hopes for a better future for all of us!

16 thoughts on “ROAD TRIP!”

    1. It’s a little bit of every car trip we took with kids when we were younger … and the trips I took with parents when i was just another youthful back seat passenger, squabbling with my brother. And occasionally, throwing up.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My elder boy used to throw while we moved from one place to another. We moved so much when he was a kid. Tarun got all his courses during his childhood days and we used to drive from one state to another every four months.


  1. That’s a classic car trip. We’ve been there many times. I hear the newer cars have WIFI and screens on the back of the seats. Do you think it has made a difference?


  2. I must admit I laughed at this but only because I’ve been there and done that. A 1,000 mile drive to Orlando, FL with two teens in the back seat was enough for me. I swear I wanted to kill them. “Mom, Bret’s breathing my air”!


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