THE TRASH GOES OUT MORE OFTEN THAN I DO

“We are made of sterner stuff than most people,” my son said. This was in answer to the question how come we hurt so much and still function. Well, sort of function. I have to admit I’m losing the battle to soldier on and keep saying “I feel just fine, thank you.”

The other day, I bumped into this thing on Facebook.

fibromyalgia

I got to “The trash goes out more often than you do,” then I broke up. It’s true. The trash goes out at least once a week. I don’t necessarily get out that often. It depends on how things are going.

A lot of us have fibromyalgia. I try not to think about it because there really isn’t much to do about it. I’m taking as much as I can and that’s not much because I have so many other problems. There aren’t many drugs I can take that won’t interact negatively with other things I have to take or conditions I’ve got that are counter-indicative for that med.

Before I take anything, I look it up online. Ninety percent of the time, I can’t take it because I have a history of ulcers, have had a heart valve replacement, have high blood pressure, have a pacemaker … or take some other medication that makes it dangerous and this includes things like aspirin, ibuprofen, and many other over-the-counter medications.

Other stuff which might make me feel better are too expensive — and Medicare won’t pay for them … like asthma medication which now tops $500 a month out-of-pocket. Even a simple inhaler costs $50 with no assistance from insurance. They have decided that I don’t really need to breathe. Like hearing, seeing, and having teeth, breathing is “cosmetic.” You gotta love the system.

72-gray-afternooon-120215_14

So there’s not much for me to do about the fibromyalgia except ignore it. Mostly, that’s what I do. If people ask me how I am doing, I always say “I’m absolutely fine,” because any explanation gets way too complicated. Anyway, a lot of people think fibromyalgia is a fake disease created by malingerers who want those fabulous disability payments.

All of you fellow sufferers out there? I believe you. I know what it feels like when you can’t find a body part that doesn’t hurt and nothing in your big bag o’ meds will help. I know the frustration of making plans, then getting to the day and realizing you aren’t up to it. How, after a while, you realize this is the way it’s going to be.

The Mad Hatter reciting "Twinke, twinkle Little Bat," as illustrated by John Tenniel

The Mad Hatter reciting “Twinkle, twinkle Little Bat,” as illustrated by John Tenniel

I’m with you. But then, I laugh. Because life is absurd. The world is insane and so am I. Surely this is a bizarre alternate reality into which I’ve unknowingly slipped. Wake me when it’s better.

38 thoughts on “THE TRASH GOES OUT MORE OFTEN THAN I DO

  1. It’s called retirement.., you don’t have to get out of bed, or go out, or do anything you don’t want to and you can usually find an excuse not to. When we were young, life was a positive experience, we powered through the pain and disappointment. Now, welcome to the negative experience.., the down side. Let me show you on this graph here. The “X” axis is “life”, the “Y” axis represents “effort”, Now lets plot our existence along these coordinates.., hmmm, veeerrrryyyeee interesting.., but Schtupid.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m always puzzled by people who act as if retirement is a challenge and need to fill up every minute with some activity. I’m really glad when we have nothing to do. Sometimes, we go out. If we don’t feel like it, we don’t. I totally LOVE retirement 🙂

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    • Ben, I have friends, a couple of former work pals, who feel obliged to do lots of stuff. They schedule weekly, monthly lunches and parties. Reunions. On the face of it, not a bad idea. But it’s all a little too busy for me.

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      • I truly understand as I sometimes suffer from feeling guilty that there is something I should be doing.., that is, other than sitting on my ass watching a favorite western or other movie. Trouble is, I can’t think of anything more important than that.., so I sits.., and watches, and pretty soon it’s not important anymore. Then i suddenly snap awake only to realize that that western has been watching me. Time to rewind and catch up with what I missed…..

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  2. Pingback: THE TRASH GOES OUT MORE OFTEN THAN I DO — SERENDIPITY | My little simple thought

  3. I was surprised what has happened to my body as I got older. No-one told me about that, I had to find it all out by myself. The doc just confirmed and added a few detailed examinations to prove it. I don’t think I have Fribromyalgia on my list of problems, but who knows. I don’t seem to need medications, except for my every second day injection. I gave up with the cholesterol stuff, because it was doing more harm than good and my digestive system seems to be working more or less normal again. Sometimes I think being our own doctors is the best medicine, at least we know what is wrong with us. Keep safe and well. As long as we can write, we are on the way.

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    • We are all surprised. This is NOT what we had planned. I expected that I would get greyer, and maybe have some wrinkles, but I never imaged a spine encased in arthritis and a cracked sternum — or imagined how many body parts one can lose and still be walking around. Ill health is not on anyone’s life map … until it is. We cope as best we can. It’s never one thing, it seems. It’s always a bundle of stuff. But you don’t get to pick. I was managing better until that last surgery. That knocked me down and I haven’t quite gotten back up. If the sternum would heal, that would help hugely, but it apparently isn’t going to heal. A broken chest kind of hurts.

      I wish more doctors would actually LISTEN to us. They seem to think we are stupid or something. I also had to insist on NOT taking a whole bunch of meds that were making me sick. I know my body better than they do. They really SHOULD listen. You are right about us being better doctors for ourselves than they are a lot of the time. Pity wee can’t write prescriptions.

      They really should listen more.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I had two friends back in my working days who dealt with Fibromyalgia. The female wore all kinds of braces on various body parts and was in a lot of pain. The male jogged and that kept it at bay. To this day, I find the different approaches fascinating. I also remember listening to my father and mother-in-law discuss all their friends being sick or how many funerals they had attended since our last visit. And, here I am now having the same conversations. 🙂

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    • i’m kind of in the middle. I keep reasonably active, but as heart issues and arthritis get worse, I can’t do what I used to do even a couple of years ago. I am ever mindful of how many friends I had who are gone now. I figure every day I wake up is a good one. The heart surgery took a lot of wind out of my sails. I had managed to keep more active until then. At a certain point, if you can’t, you can’t. It isn’t always a choice.

      Braces? I can’t think of what they would be for. She must have had complicating other things going on.

      I’m not sure it’s about different approaches. Fibromyalgia is not one thing. It’s a package of stuff and rarely does it present without significant complicating other problems. If it was JUST pain, that would be a cakewalk compared to the reality.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t have Fibromyalgia, but I do have Hashimoto’s Hypothyroidism, and I can completely resonate with all of those in some fashion. Before meds, I had a hard time getting out of bed, the god awful brain fogs, etc. And even though my levels are normal, I still have lots of the symptoms. And you’re right; it’s easier to say “I’m fine” than to have to explain that your body hates your thyroid and all you want to do is be home, sleep, and wish for the day that none of the symptoms affected you.

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    • ONE really good day. Now THAT is a great thought. One day, pain free, with just a little bit of energy to get up & go. Sounds like heaven! One of the most annoying parts about chronic problems is that it gets so boring. I really don’t want to talk about it, but I don’t mind a good laugh.

      This actually made me laugh.

      I have better and worse days. Most days aren’t too bad and the good days I feel almost normal. If some of the stuff from the last big surgery would heal, I could be in a better place. A sense of humor really helps!!

      Liked by 2 people

    • Oh crap. I’m so sorry to both you and Marilyn. Looks like that’s going to be my diagnosis too…or close to it. They are saying Atypical (which means they just aren’t sure) Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. After two years of x-rays, ultrasounds, and scopes, every possible kind of blood test (they took so much I’m anemic now), 7 or 8 doctors, 3 biopsies, lots of drug experiments, and on and on.
      But today I feel good. Of course, it’s only 10 AM so we’ll see.

      Clearly, unlike you and Marilyn, my health shit is all new enough to me (and my first serious illness in 68 years) that I still need to talk about it. I’m roiling in empathy though…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, in the beginning, talking is good. Six months from now, I expect you will wish you had a taped message you could play so you didn’t have to repeat the story again 🙂

        We never seem to have just one problem. There’s always a bundle of interlocking issues. Which is why it is so hard to treat. Such is life. I think I’m doing pretty well, considering all the crap my body throws at me. No one has told me I’m dying, so I figure this is pretty good. At this point in life, LIFE is a big deal.

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    • I knew you would. I cleaned a little this morning. And folks, that’s it for the day. Except maybe, if I can collect enough energy, I really want to shoot a few night pictures in town. Fortunately, night comes really early this time of year. It’ll be dark by a bit after 4. I think (maybe) I can keep it together until then. Oof!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. In a lot of cases it’s wear and tear. My grandmother used to complain about gravity. Everything was such an effort for her so she blamed gravity for getting her down. We are living longer and there are bound to be consequences to that.
    Leslie

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  7. This is one of those things I only learned about after I started blogging since a handful of my followers suffer from it. One of my earliest friends on here is only a year older than me and nearly crippled by fibro. It’s made me better appreciate what I can do, even if it isn’t as much as I could 20 years ago….

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  8. Pingback: trash goes ………… – divyanshspacetech

  9. Oh for sure! Gotta love the ginormus disability checks. Don’t you know it. lol it’s not even enough to pay my damn mortgage…………………..Yeah, I love having no life and a gigantic check every month that I use to pay for my insurance. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I could really relate to your blog post and it is refreshing to read something so honest. I often find myself feeling a bit overwhelmed as there is not a lot I can do to alleviate the pain so like most of us, just have to do my best to ignore it which is easier said than done. Every time I am given a new tablet I spend ages researching the side effects as I am prone to suffer from them. I am no longer taking any medication due to all the problems I had with taking them. I agree that it is easier to just tell people that you are fine. I can never understand why people think that Fibromyalgia is a made up disability. Why would we chose to suffer with a disability that is difficult to diagnose and currently impossible to cure.

    Thank you for posting 🙂

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    • Almost all of us also have other chronic problems. In my case, asthma, ulcers, heart disease and two rounds of cancer … so there are a LOT of things I can’t take. Actually, it would be easier to list what I can take. I just started taking something new. I shouldn’t take it. My doctor and I both agree that it’s another one of the things I shouldn’t take, but at a certain point, I need something or I have no life. So far, so good.

      Liked by 1 person

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