The place?

The product? BISSELL 9595A Vacuum with OnePass – Corded – by Bissell


QUESTION: It doesn’t have a baby strap, how am I supposed to safely attach my baby to it?


Consider the Go-Go Babyz Travelmate Car Seat Luggage Strap if you want a solution to strapping your baby to the Bissel CleanView Upright. Then you can have all the conveniences of your car seat AND vacuum cleaner and it’s only $20!

M. Yates answered on September 4, 2015

You can use the curtains and blinds attachment for a nice, gentle suction.

An Amazon Customer answered on September 2, 2015

This is just the standard model, without all the bells and whistles. If you want high quality baby straps, you should really go for the Dyson DC50, but those are at least $375-400. Some of the less expensive Shark models have inferior straps that are prone to breaking through regular wear and tear. At the end of the day, you get what you pay for.

DivinePrince answered on May 12, 2016

If you had gotten a Fair Trade Warranty on the baby, you wouldn’t be asking this question. Think ahead, next time.

Lucy answered on August 17, 2016

You know what? That’s a good question. I haven’t seen my baby since I strapped him to the lawn mower. I’ll be watching this question.

P-ro answered on July 13, 2016

Someone please think of the children!

Erek answered on September 3, 2015

Baby goes inside the wind tunnel

Barry answered on December 4, 2016

Teach your baby how to vacuum and how to change the oil in your car. It’s well worth the effort!

Navyvet answered on July 1, 2016

I don’t have a baby, so I’m wondering if I can hook up the dogs. Before you ask, yes, this is a real question and these are real answers.

Real vacuum cleaner, too. I ordered one and should have it today. Now that the house is clean, having a reasonably good vacuum cleaner might help keep it clean, even without proper baby straps. It’s modestly priced, has positive reviews. We don’t need an industrial grade machine; this should do the job.

There are other hilarious questions and answers for this product. I’ve seen this phenomenon before — mostly for photo gear — on Amazon. Rumors to the contrary notwithstanding, there are still people in this world with a sense of humor. It’s always worth glancing at the Q & A section and skimming comments, even for stuff you aren’t going to buy.

You just never know what you will find on Amazon.


  1. Forget attaching the baby to the vacuum cleaner and just dress the baby in Swiffer pajamas. Your house will soon be spic and span, and you can get your money back for the vacuum. I don’t know if they make Swiffer coated dog sweaters, though…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Even better attach the baby in stiffer pants to the dog with a leash and randomly throw a ball around the house. The dog gets exercise and the baby cleans the floor. Now that’s just smart parenting.


  2. or maybe It should be dog-coated swifter sweaters…
    (looks like there’s room on that handle for a nice cat seat, strap optional. )
    I did have a cat that loved to ride on the floor broom part, and would insist that you vacuumed him first, before the rest of the floor.

    That vacuum looks like it would be fun to use, btw. Love the color.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve bumped into these wacky comment threads on Amazon before. usually it’s in photography for some piece of equipment so outrageously expensive that absolutely no one would buy it — like a Sigma 5000mm lens that was supposed to fit a 4/3 format camera and was on SALE for $42,000 — reduced from $60,000 (what a bargain)! The lens was the size of a large dog. The camera fits in your purse … and who would use a lens that long? We got to speculating and it was suggested that it might replace the Hubbell telescope … and everyone was off and punning.

      This was unique because it’s a regular product that is very popular and people really buy. Someone was feeling playful, I guess 🙂 I hope it works on our ancient carpeting!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a total hoot. I’ll have to find the ones for that huge telephoto lens. You could have based a sci fi series on some of those answers. I don’t even know if it’s still on amazon. I’ll have to look. I love it when people get frisky in the comments. I’m glad a few people still remember to laugh.

      Liked by 1 person

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