Life is a road which urgently needs repaving. It’s so full of pot-holes, rocks, broken branches, quicksand and mud, it’s amazing anyway can navigate the whole distance. What makes repaving plans tricky is no two people travel the same road. Too many roads!

Okay, sure, sometimes paths cross … even run side-by-side for miles — years — at a time. But even when they cross or run parallel, they aren’t a single road.

It’s like a family with three kids. Say you’ve got an older brother and a younger sisters. Your brother becomes a business man and lives a pretty normal life while your sister discovers her own version of  chaos theory. She proceeds to live a life of crisis and yeah, chaos. Not theory, but the real deal. As for you, you’re not entirely sane, but compared to your sister, you’re solidly grounded. That’s worrisome because you know the weird stuff going around in your head.

Yet all three of you had the same parents and as far as anyone can see, more or less the same upbringing.

So, I guess that road is going to stay uneven. Life will continue to be unfair. It will leave many of us looking skyward, searching for answers and sometimes, for questions.

We have great parents, crappy lives. Horrible parents, amazing lives. That’s just life. Infinitely variable, lumpy, bumpy, and charmingly uneven.



  1. How do you suppose the sister might characterize the author’s life? One of rigid adherence to rules and expectations? (In defense of chaos theory lives.)


    • I more or less know the answer to that. But that’s not the point. The point is, same parents. Same homelife. Entirely different outcomes. Because it only LOOKS the same on the surface. From another’s point of view, it’s entirely different.

      Liked by 1 person

    • I thought I should add that in this particular case, calling it a chaos theory life is being kind and gentle. It was much, much worse than that. I never understood what had gone so awfully wrong. I’m sure she didn’t know either. Only in the movies are there discoverable motives for everything. In real life, motives usually consists of a long string of micro-decisions. Course corrections (or errors) so infinitesimally small, you don’t remember making them. They are not necessarily conscious choices, either. Things happened, you did what you did, then you did something else. Eventually, all these micro-decisions became Your Life Road. Sometimes good. Sometimes oh so awful.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Other than our very noticeable physical resemblance, nobody would guess me and my four sisters are related. We run the gamut of personalities, and a couple of my sisters can’t seem to decide exactly how they want to live their lives. I’m definitely the grounded one….. very, very grounded….


  3. I hate bumps. But I have to admit, I’ve learned from them. My parents met when they were teemagers, married one day after my dad turned 21 because their parents did not approve. They stayed together for 58 years until my mother died. My dad never graduated high school, my mom did but that was the furthest she went in her education. My older sister had to get married and never finished school. I, on the other hand, went to college, taught high school, and had a pretty successful career afterwards. So where do our roads intersect? I’m at a loss. And I have no idea why I felt like unburdening myself at this time. Anyway, I always enjoy reading you and Garry. Did you know they are playing All About Eve at movie theaters in March? “Fasten your seatbelts….”


    • I have a similar background, though neither of my parents made it to high school at all. Both were working by the time they were 14. I suppose that’s why they were so determined we would all get an education or die trying.

      No matter how much we love someone, we never become one person or travel the same road. Parallel, for a while, but never the same. Garry and I have been together a long time … really, since we were kids. I had a doctor appointment today and I realized that Garry’s medical history is so ridiculously simple, it’s almost not there … and mine is such a convoluted mess, that no one can unravel it. We are walking down our long road holding hands, but at some point, the roads will diverge. That’s just the way it is. It’s why I so hate the whole mythos of “two hearts beating as one.” We never become “one” nor should we … because that would make each of us less than we we were when we began.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Beautifully said, Marilyn. Interesting that last night I had a dream about my father. It was a nice visit!


  4. I’m glad there are a few bumps in the road too. It’s character building – also think of it – if everything went smoothly it could be rather boring. Just so long as there aren’t too many bumps and they aren’t horrendous sink holes.


  5. I made my own road bumpy. Mum and dad were not into complications, they avoided them where they could and if dad would get complicated, mum would not talk to him for a few days. If I got complicated she would ignore me as well, probably why I left and went to Switzerland. Roads are as bumpy as you make them I suppose. Chaos is always good, makes for changes and life is not so boring – is it?


    • I kind of like the bumps, mostly. I also love roller coasters, so clearly I feel a little adrenaline rush is always a plus. Besides, you can’t avoid all the bumps. No one can. So we might as well embrace them. I’m sure your folks, no matter how wary they were of risk-taking had more than their share of bumps and holes and rocks in the road. It’s part of life. Like you, I did what I wanted and I’ve never regretted it. It was fun, exciting, interesting. Life is not boring, not even now.

      I’m off to dry my hair and get my aging decrepit self to the doctor. It’s (argh) annual checkup time!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. LOVE your opening line. “Life is a road which urgently needs repaving”. It’s Troo!! Think I’ll steal it.


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