MASSACRE AT FURRY TOY PASS – EVIL SQUIRREL’S NEST 4th ANNUAL CONTEST OF WHATEVER

Welcome to Serendipity’s First Entry to Evil Squirrel’s Nest’s 4th Annual Contest of Whatever


Story by Garry Armstrong

Photography by Marilyn Armstrong

A cautionary tale for lovers of stuffed, furry toys – and dawgz!


No one wants to talk about that dreadful, dark day in history. It was a day of senseless violence — as opposed to those many other more sensible violent periods. The massacre was perpetrated on an innocent, unsuspecting civilian population. The blemish on our national reverence for furry creatures with embedded squeakers can never be erased.

Squirrel was the first -- but hardly the last -- casualty.

Squirrel was the first — but hardly the last — casualty.

We treasure stories about children playing with teddy bears. We sing lullabies about cuddly, soft animals who live in the sense memories of our innocent kid years.

We should have seen it coming

We should have seen it coming

But, now there’s a darker, more murky chapter. It’s about our Scotties, Bonnie and Gibbs. A bloody chapter about the ambush at Furry Toys Pass!!

There’s no forgetting the innocence of the furry victims. Mr. Rabbit, the Hedge Hog brothers. Cousin Squirrel, and Yellow Beaky Kid. They lived their lives in quiet solitude, in a hidden valley that promised safety from marauding Scotties.

Bonnie has broken through! Security breached! Alarms sounding!

Bonnie has broken through! Security breached! Alarms sounding!

Security was heightened as new members joined the furry family.  But the Scotties had a mole who leaked information to them about what should have been The Safe House. Danger was near. No one fully appreciated the depth of the Wrath of the Scotties.

With fang and claw, Gibbs is first to attack!

With fang and claw, Gibbs is first to attack!

Deception was a key part to Bonnie and Gibbs game plan. They appeared quiet and serene, maybe nothing but biscuits on their mind. We were lulled into a false sense of security. The Furry Kids were left alone and vulnerable in the pass that led to a box canyon and the badlands.

it's a trap, a trick, a feint!

it’s a trap, a trick, a feint!

In a flash, Bonnie and Gibbs made their move!! We couldn’t believe what happened. Mr. Squirrel!! The Hedge Hogs, The Soggy Doggy and Yellow Beaky Kid — all snatched in cruel jaws before we could move to save them. We couldn’t keep up with Bonnie and Gibbs as they swooped in for their prey.

Back up troops were too far away. Bonnie and Gibbs had taken over Furry Toys Pass!!

We’re now waiting for a dispatch from Reuters to see if  Bonnie and Gibbs will consider a diplomatic trade-off for the lives of their furry hostages. The Scotties are adamant in their demands. They want a huge payoff. BIG biscuits, none of those wimpy, small brittle things that melt in their paws.

Garry tried negotiations, but the Scottish Terrorists remain obdurate!

Garry tried negotiations, but the Scottish Terrorists remain obdurate!

We’re not sure if we can save the furry kids. Too many treaties have been broken, too many treats consumed. Too many casualties with holes in their furry bodies, squeakers mashed to groans. Too much hours spent stitching and mending. Too many colors of thread needed — and too many needles.

The Old Man was right about those Scotties. They are bad.

Bad to the Bone!!

24 thoughts on “MASSACRE AT FURRY TOY PASS – EVIL SQUIRREL’S NEST 4th ANNUAL CONTEST OF WHATEVER

  1. That is such an adorable little corral of critters… how terrible that they must live life in constant fear of those partners in crime Bonnie and Gibbs. I guess it doesn’t help that the bad guys are so cute as well that they can keep getting away with this senseless violence…

    Thank you for taking the time to play along with my contest! I loved this tale of the days when critters were critters!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s funny that although Gibbs is all fangy and fierce, it’s Bonnie who actually will gut them when she’s in the mood. The squirrel … well there’s some kind of dog-squirrel animus that cannot be overcome by the squirrel not being alive and real. I removed the squeaker from his tail and most of the stuffing too, but there’s something about the fluffy tail that gets them wildly excited. Poor squirrel is already missing an ear and an eye. He only has a small repairable hole right now, but I fear if he goes another round with the Terrorist Scotties, he will not survive to fight again.

      They ARE awfully cute and they LOVE their toys. They just believe in tough love. With teeth. Also, they drag them out through the doggy door, then poor Garry has to go outside and dig them out of the snow. I keep TELLING them: IN THE HOUSE. No toys in the yard. They just don’t LISTEN. No respect. None 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • There seem to be fewer of them today than yesterday. I’m betting they are out in the yard, again. I know it looks like Gibbs it the real bad guy, but it’s sweet Bonnie who gets seriously into dismemberment. And she’s very efficient, once she goes on a killing spree. Paw to hold it down, get a good grip with the jaws, and rip. Gibbs is just trying to find the squeaker. He LOVES to make them squeak. Some of the squeaker are more growlers and he like that even more. The Hedgehog Brothers growl. The mooses (there are two, but one is in hospital) sort of groan and squawk. Beaky Kid has an excellent loud squeal.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I swear to God I was going to do a blog on the same thing. Since we got our new puppy our family room looks like the Killing Fields. Dead toys everywhere! Ripped apart, disembowled. And the stuffing. God help us. The stuffing. It’s everywhere.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Do it anyway! I’d love to see it! For this one, I took the pictures, but I couldn’t think of a storyline. Garry came through for me. Take pictures! You never know when you’ll need a picture of that thing over there.

      Garry is always arranging their stuffies and searching the yard for the ones left stranded. He found blue octopus today — MIA for weeks. You can get cutely creative with the pictures.

      I finally gave in and got a sewing kit because replacing the casualties was getting $$$. I have learned to buy Kong toys. The Kong kids are survivors! Also, I keep a camera handy because the dogs are always doing something so damned adorable … I know it’s a cliche. But a nice one 🙂

      Like

    • Pancho, you should write YOUR piece. Our dawgzs represent different hostile tribes. We can make this an epic mini series to rival “Centennial”.

      Gibbs just let me know this is war! He bit my finger as I was handing out pieces of Pizza. Generosity, that was my first mistake.

      Like

  3. Pingback: THE KILLING FIELDS OF EASTON – BY TOM CURLEY | SERENDIPITY

  4. Pingback: Amateur Crittermatography | Evil Squirrel's Nest

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