Last night, watching Star Trek: Next Generation, Geordi La Forge (Levar Burton) disobeyed a direct order given by Captain Stewart, er, I mean, Jean-Luc Picard. Although he survived his misadventure — barely, I might add — Picard told Geordi that regretfully, he was going to have to “put this incident on your permanent record!”
Oh my god! His permanent record. Even in Star Fleet, you cannot escape your permanent record. It’s four hundred years in the future and they still have that record.
Back in our golden olden days, the thing that was held over our heads — the Sword of Damocles — was that our bad behavior would go on our permanent record. From elementary school through our working years, we were warned our permanent record would follow us. Marks against us might even (gasp!) prevent us from getting into college in which case we knew we might as well die on the spot. If you didn’t go to college, you would never have a decent job or a life worth living. I knew it in the marrow of my bones. Didn’t you?
The Permanent Record is (was) (will be) like a rock. Unchanging. No matter what we do with our lives, everyone can find out about our misdeeds, even those from Kindergarten. Kind of like Wikileaks for every living human being. What an appalling thought!
All anyone anywhere needs to do is check the record. They’ll know I sassed my eleventh grade social studies teacher (he deserved worse) in May 1962. That Garry ran over his allotted time while reporting a news event in Boston and was not even repentant when confronted with his foul deed! Every evil we have done through our life will be revealed.
So, here’s the deal.
Now and forever, every one of us has a permanent record in which all our misbehavior is cataloged. I know because I’ve been told. I’m not sure who has custody of these records, however. As far as I can tell, everyone on the planet has one, so there must be a gigantic storage unit somewhere, where everything is filed. That’s hundreds of million of records to keep on file for eternity. Maybe trillions, zillions or gazillions.
I expect when we die, if there actually are Pearly Gates and an immortal gatekeeper who decides if we may or may not enter, he or she will be clutching a copy of our permanent record in one angelic hand.
That’s right. You talked back to your teacher in fifth grade, cut biology class in high school. Told a professor the dog ate your final paper in college. Now, you won’t go to Heaven.
Sorry pal. Your permanent record finally caught up with you.
Categories: Humor
Jean-Luc Picard only issues 2 of these “infractions” throughout the entire series Worf, and Geordi ….. see any pattern ?
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Is it only bad deeds that go on PR or do our good ones balance them up??
Either way, i’m probably screwed!
love.
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Nope. This is Bad Deed Only. It’s the whip teachers use to get you through school. It worked, too.
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This musta bin ‘back in the day…’ before school records went computerised and 13 year olds could hack security and modify same! 😉
love.
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Is there a special bureau out there that you can pay to fix any inaccuracies in our permanent record, kinda like credit repair? I’m pretty sure I didn’t do all these things…. it was someone who looked like me…. had my previous address… maybe even stole my identity when I spit at my sister on the playground and earned a date with the “board of education”….
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Absolutely. I’ll vouch for you if you’ll vouch for me. We can be mutually vouchsafing? Are those words?
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So True! I have PR ( Permanent Record) from Kindergarten converted to PR ( Personal Record) with persistence, hard work and not believing in what was said in a negative way.
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It takes determination to get that record expunged. Congratulations. I just got old and gave up 🙂
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The nuns would have had us all going to hell with our little infractions. Demerits? Forget it, baby. See you in hell. Twelve years of nuns dies hard…..
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Well, there’s going to be a LOT of company in hell these days. Some of the very BEST people will be there, in boiling shit to their lips.
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This is the second time this week I’ve heard about the permanent record. Maybe it’s time I hired a Russian hacker to edit mine.
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If I’m nice, can the Russian hacker fix mine too?
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Ha, ha. I think I see an investment opportunity opening up here.
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Grab it while you can 😀
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I think you answered your own question – faulty parameter:’I’m nice’:-)
love.
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I never thought of it that way. You mean my record book from school is somewhere filed away in an eternal record book hunting ground, which is not so happy. But I did not talk on purpose, it was only my lips that were moving. My worst sin was a conduct mark, but I cannot remember why, it was so long ago. Let’s forget it, It fan only get better I hope.
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It was just seeing it on TV that made me laugh. It was the Big Threat of teachers in elementary school, that whatever you did would go ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD! It was like the threat of death. So it made me wonder if there really IS a permanent record somewhere 😀
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Trump needs to release his permanent record!!!!
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I’m sure he cheated in high school. And college. And yesterday.
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Excellent. Wish I’d thought of that.
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it was seeing it on Star Trek. Even way up there, they all still have permanent records 😀
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I’ll probably still exceed my allotted time.
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Yahoo published then and now photos of the Star Trek cast. Some I could recognize. Others have have had a tough of it.
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I think that was an inside joke. 🙂 I hope so…
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See? That’s what keeps happening to me! Every time I watch Star Trek I notice something like that.
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This one was a goodie. I stopped the picture. I looked at Garry. I said “THEY HAVE A PERMANENT RECORD. On the Enterprise.”
I had to immediately write something. Who could resist?
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