It’s one of the things you learn getting older. You really can’t fight all the battles because there are too many battles and too few of you. So you accept that the plow driver knocked down half a wall and dug up a big chunk of garden … which someone is going to have to fix because it’s like hideous mud and rock central on the driveway.

You look at the door, realize it’s begun to rot a bit under the sill. You shrug. It’ll get dealt with, eventually. Not by me, of course. I don’t do sills.

The garden is a mess. The trees are breeding caterpillars. The dogs need a haircut and, for that matter, so do I. It’ll get sorted out. Or not. The places I plan to go, but the drive is too long — or the directions too complicated. The places I  ought to go, but don’t want to, at least not enough to make such an effort.

When I was 30, I went. Regardless. For the adventure, if nothing else. At 70? Adventure is great if I don’t have to walk over rough ground to experience it. So I know in advance of plans that I might go, but maybe I really won’t. Even if not doing so involves guilt and regret.

There’s a lot of acceptance going around. It’s not all that bad. After all those years of doing everything I was supposed to do and 50% more because I believed I should go that extra “mile,” I would have expected the changeover from “must” to “I’ll get to it” to be … more intense maybe?

Turns out, many of the things I did were not half as important as they seemed at the time. Can’t even remember most of them. But my brain screamed: “YOU MUST DO THAT NOW!” Phumf.

Now, I don’t even think about the why of it all. If it’s a doctor, I will deal with it, though I may defer the visit a couple of times until I get to it. Taxes? Well, you have to do them, at least if you want your money back. Visiting friends or having them visit? No question, I want to do it … if it will just please stop snowing. Vacations if reservations are involved and dates for dogs to be attended get worked out. We go.

On the “it’s almost work” front, writing a piece that’s bouncing around in my head. Checking in on friends, internet and otherwise.

Wondering why Gibbs was staring at the wall in the kitchen and growling ferociously. What did he see that I probably should know about?

Thinking I’d like to buy a video game, but wondering if I’d have the time to play it because my hobby (Serendipity) has become increasingly intense as the years have marched on. Or, as I said to Garry just last night: “Yes, it is a bit like work, but it’s writing. If I weren’t writing for Serendipity, I’d be writing for no one. I am going to write. Might as well write so other people can read it.”

Everything else can wait. Possibly until the next life rolls around.

Author: Marilyn Armstrong

Opinionated writer with hopes for a better future for all of us!


  1. Hobby, it is a life’s work – one day we will be famous (perhaps). I used to thing that things were so serious, but today, who cares. Somehow we always come out at the other end, perhaps a little wiser, and picked up a few scratches on the way – but eventually you forget it all. Tabby told me she knows what Gibbs was staring at on the wall, but she won’t say what it was – typical. And I think your door looks great, has atmosphere.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My cats used to do that too. They would sit and stare at the ceiling. I’d come over and look … and they would walk away. Are they just messing with us?

      Yes, actually acceptance turns out to be one of the EASIEST things I’ve ever done!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I have definitely accepted and moved on from quite a few things Marilyn.. I think that I have found viable alternatives but there is often a day now when I think NAH…. not going to happen.. But I have been there, done that and got the T-shirt… and had fun.. now fun of a different kind. have popped in the blogger this evening. thanks Sally

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Jumped over from Sally Cronin’s Blogger Daily
        LOL – for me I’d need the transporter and automatic dressing. As I cross the threshold into my transporter in my house pajamas, my clothing is magically transformed into whatever is appropriate for the outing (and my hair is brushed, face washed & spackled, with breath smelling like peppermint, despite my garlic-laden lunch.)

        I never felt pressured to go-go-go when I was younger – it was just what I loved to do. I even enjoyed getting dolled up for the occasion. Now I think of something I’d like to do and my next thought is, “but I’d have to take a bath and change my clothes” – followed closely by: “Nah, I think I’d rather take another trip around the internet.”

        I like framing it as acceptance. Great idea!
        (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
        ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
        “It takes a village to transform a world!”


        1. You and me, baby, you and me! First I think, “OH COOL.”
          Then: “Do I have anything to wear?”
          THEN: “Will I have to … go SHOPPING?”
          And finally: “I can’t afford another fancy dress I will wear once and never again.”

          If all of that doesn’t nail it down, I look at the directions. Is it in Boston? Will there be parking? How MUCH for the parking? Even vacations have to go through this process, assuming we can afford one — which we rarely can.

          Oh, the transporter also includes a little fish for your ear (a la Douglas Adams) so you know what they are saying in colloquial English or whatever you speak. And a guarantee that you won’t have to eat anything slimy or squiggly.

          But … after THAT, hell year. I’m ready!

          Liked by 1 person

  3. My video games have overtaken my writing. That may change someday but for now… I play more than I write. Hey, at least one of us is writing. Right? 🙂


    1. I think this is MOST of us. There’s no avoiding that we can’t do everything and we don’t have to do it. It’s okay to relax. We worked a lot of years. Now, we don’t have to. We seem to walk around like we are still hooked to a job and if we don’t get up, get out, and get on with it, the world will fail. But … it won’t 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Some things, you give up. I had to quit riding because one more fall would kill me. It was definitely giving up because I wanted to live.

      I can’t clamber over wet rocks to grab that photograph. I can’t jump and I can’t run. There’s a ton of physical stuff I can’t do … but it is the price of getting old. A lot of our friends never GOT old. They died. So, if we recognize we can’t do what our bodies refuse, we ARE alive. That is NOT nothing. We do not have to pretend forever to be young.

      That we seem to think we should be young regardless of reality bothers me. It’s the whole stupid Hollywood “forever young” thing. We are young, then we aren’t so young, then we get — if we are lucky — old. It’s okay. That’s the way it is supposed to work.


  4. You know, you could do both, Marilyn – you could write about the videogames you’ve played. Other bloggers do. 🙂 Personally, I love spending the last hour of each day playing a totally mindless videogame. It helps me relax so I can sleep. Writing, on the other hand, as much as I love it, winds me up so I can’t sleep.


  5. Oh Hell Yeah! 🙂

    Acceptance ain’t always easy tho’… i have this niggling little doubt that says my life could probably be a lot better if i just did more and procrastinated less. ‘Specially when it comes to bettering myself. The fact that there are humans with two arms, two legs (or less sometimes!) and with the same number of hours in every day who do SO many more amazing things than i ever have bugs me more than it probably should.



    1. That is the guilt bug chomping at your brain.

      This is foolishness for all of us. By the time Mozart was my age, he had been dead for 40 years and Bill Gates was Master of Microsoft. Most people are not them. Most of us are just people and we deal with our lives however we deal with it. Yes, I should get out more and I will, when the damned snow finally melts, should we live that long. But I won’t be riding a horse and I won’t be running, skipping, jumping, hopping, or leaping tall buildings in one or more bounds.

      And it’s OK to be us. It’s okay to NOT be ready to get out there and take on the world. If that’s what you really want to do, fine, but just because HE does, it doesn’t mean you should. Everyone seems to feel that everyone else does better with “life” than they do. I’d like to know WHY?


    1. My favorite are people who think getting old is kind of pathetic because obviously they think it can’t happen to them. NONE of us think it will happen to us. We all think we will be JUST FINE. Maybe a little grayer, a few tiny wrinkles. Nothing ugly. No trouble walking. Just … a teeny tiny bit older, but not to worry.

      Right. Sure.

      Liked by 1 person

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