WE NEED A FIRST MOM – BY TOM CURLEY

Ellin wrote a post a while back called Arrogance and Ignorance. A Bad Combination. It got a lot of comments. One of the comments stuck with me.  “SW08” said we need a housewife and mother to run things. As I read it, I realized  that’s exactly what we need in the White House. We need a First Mom!

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She has all the skills needed to run a government. She balances budgets, makes sure everybody gets fed and she takes care of everybody when they are sick.  And she can handle children. Her duties would not just be confined to handling the Toddler-In-Chief. She’d be responsible for the all the “Little Rascals” in the West Wing.

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FIRST MOM: Donnie! Time to get up!

“Here we go.” flickr

FIRST TODDLER: I don’t wanna! I’m tired! I was up till 5AM sending out mean tweets about North Korea!

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FIRST MOM: That’s not my problem. You are the President and you have to get up.

FIRST TODDLER: I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

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FIRST MOM: Hate me all you want.  I don’t care.  Now get up. Your breakfast is ready.

FIRST TODDLER: I want a breakfast Taco Bowl!

FIRST MOM: I don’t care what you want. You are getting last night’s vegetables.

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FIRST TODDLER: I hate vegetables! I wanna Taco Bowl!

FIRST MOM: I told you last night that if you didn’t finish your vegetables you’d be getting them for breakfast the next morning. Now get up and get dressed. You have a CIA briefing in an hour

FIRST TODDLER: The CIA sucks. They think I colluded with the Russians!

FIRST MOM: Everybody thinks that dear. OK, I’ll make a deal. If you eat your vegetables, you can bomb Syria.

FIRST TODDLER: Yea!! BOOM!

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Jared Kushner and Steve Bannon run into the room.

JARED KUSHNER: MOM! Steve Bannon is saying mean things about me!

STEVE BANNON: HE STARTED IT!!

FIRST MOM: (Sighing) It’s gonna be a long day.

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It’s an impossible job, but somebody has to do it.
Help us First Mom. You’re our only hope!

OPAQUE AND TRANSPARENT

These days, the word “opaque” is photographic.

I instantly think about layers — transparent versus opaque — and how you can stack them to give an almost 3D quality to photographs. “Opaque” isn’t about life or feelings. It’s about pictures.


So here’s opaque:

And now, transparent.

SHARING THE WORLD – APRIL MOVING ALONG NICELY

I am delighted to report that nothing is going on. Soon we’ll have flowers and shortly thereafter, trees. Then, caterpillars. Maybe they won’t be as bad this time, but it’s hard to know. We will put in the air conditioners shortly. It’s getting warm. This is the least eventful period I can remember in a long time. I love it!

Share Your World – April 17, 2017


When writing by hand do you prefer to use a pencil or pen?

I do everything on the keyboard. I have pens because sometimes, I have to sign something. Probably there’s a pencil somewhere in the house, but I have no idea where that might be. But we have almost everything here, so I’m sure we have one of them, too.

Honestly, I don’t remember the last time I wrote out more words than I needed for grocery list or birthday card. But I do sign things. There’s always something that needs a signature.

Would you rather be an amazing dancer or an amazing singer?

Amazing indeed if, at my age, I were suddenly to become a great dancer or singer. The amazing would be that it happened. At all.

I used to have a pleasant voice, but damaged my vocal chords many years ago. I wouldn’t  mind being able to sing a little, but amazing? I don’t think so. And, to be fair, that was never on one of my “lists” of things I wanted to do or be. I did want to be a great pianist and I tried. Didn’t quite make it, but I tried hard.

Not since my post-toddler days have I yearned to be a dancer. That dream ended before it got started. Too much like work!

If you were on a debate team, what subject would you relish debating?

Once upon a time, I could have written a list of thing I would like to debate. Once upon a time, long, long ago. Because I think I have completed all the arguments about anything that mattered. I’ve battled for health care, women’s rights, equality, tolerance … and against war. During the 1960s, we all got together and tried to change the world. I’m pretty sure that what we really accomplished was making blue denim jeans and sport shoes really hot clothing. Otherwise, the world is as appallingly terrible as ever, except worse.

So I’m not debating with anyone about anything. I’ll sign petitions, call my congressperson, and post articles that I think will help those who have a mind for facts. Otherwise? If you are happy about the state of the world? Go away. Do not annoy me with your stupidity.

What are you a “natural” at doing?

Writing about things that happen and are true, but little or no aptitude for fiction. And certain kinds of photography.

I could always write. I don’t remember a time in this life when I couldn’t say it better on paper–  or these days, a monitor.

As for photography, I have a good eye for landscapes and casual portraits. Other things, not so much … but I keep trying and I am getting better at some of them. I don’t work terribly hard at photography. These days, I don’t work terribly hard. On anything.