Ellin wrote a post a while back called Arrogance and Ignorance. A Bad Combination. It got a lot of comments. One of the comments stuck with me. “SW08” said we need a housewife and mother to run things. As I read it, I realized that’s exactly what we need in the White House. We need a First Mom!
She has all the skills needed to run a government. She balances budgets, makes sure everybody gets fed and she takes care of everybody when they are sick. And she can handle children. Her duties would not just be confined to handling the Toddler-In-Chief. She’d be responsible for the all the “Little Rascals” in the West Wing.
FIRST MOM: Donnie! Time to get up!
FIRST TODDLER: I don’t wanna! I’m tired! I was up till 5AM sending out mean tweets about North Korea!
FIRST MOM: That’s not my problem. You are the President and you have to get up.
FIRST TODDLER: I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
FIRST MOM: Hate me all you want. I don’t care. Now get up. Your breakfast is ready.
FIRST TODDLER: I want a breakfast Taco Bowl!
FIRST MOM: I don’t care what you want. You are getting last night’s vegetables.
FIRST TODDLER: I hate vegetables! I wanna Taco Bowl!
FIRST MOM: I told you last night that if you didn’t finish your vegetables you’d be getting them for breakfast the next morning. Now get up and get dressed. You have a CIA briefing in an hour
FIRST TODDLER: The CIA sucks. They think I colluded with the Russians!
FIRST MOM: Everybody thinks that dear. OK, I’ll make a deal. If you eat your vegetables, you can bomb Syria.
FIRST TODDLER: Yea!! BOOM!
Jared Kushner and Steve Bannon run into the room.
JARED KUSHNER: MOM! Steve Bannon is saying mean things about me!
STEVE BANNON: HE STARTED IT!!
FIRST MOM: (Sighing) It’s gonna be a long day.