Ellin wrote a post a while back called Arrogance and Ignorance. A Bad Combination. It got a lot of comments. One of the comments stuck with me.  “SW08” said we need a housewife and mother to run things. As I read it, I realized  that’s exactly what we need in the White House. We need a First Mom!


She has all the skills needed to run a government. She balances budgets, makes sure everybody gets fed and she takes care of everybody when they are sick.  And she can handle children. Her duties would not just be confined to handling the Toddler-In-Chief. She’d be responsible for the all the “Little Rascals” in the West Wing.


FIRST MOM: Donnie! Time to get up!

“Here we go.” flickr

FIRST TODDLER: I don’t wanna! I’m tired! I was up till 5AM sending out mean tweets about North Korea!


FIRST MOM: That’s not my problem. You are the President and you have to get up.

FIRST TODDLER: I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!


FIRST MOM: Hate me all you want.  I don’t care.  Now get up. Your breakfast is ready.

FIRST TODDLER: I want a breakfast Taco Bowl!

FIRST MOM: I don’t care what you want. You are getting last night’s vegetables.


FIRST TODDLER: I hate vegetables! I wanna Taco Bowl!

FIRST MOM: I told you last night that if you didn’t finish your vegetables you’d be getting them for breakfast the next morning. Now get up and get dressed. You have a CIA briefing in an hour

FIRST TODDLER: The CIA sucks. They think I colluded with the Russians!

FIRST MOM: Everybody thinks that dear. OK, I’ll make a deal. If you eat your vegetables, you can bomb Syria.



Jared Kushner and Steve Bannon run into the room.

JARED KUSHNER: MOM! Steve Bannon is saying mean things about me!


FIRST MOM: (Sighing) It’s gonna be a long day.


It’s an impossible job, but somebody has to do it.
Help us First Mom. You’re our only hope!

11 thoughts on “WE NEED A FIRST MOM – BY TOM CURLEY”

    1. Pancho, I WUV this one. I always had a crush on Jane Wyatt’s, Mrs. Jim Anderson (Dad’s still in the closet, sneaking a few drinks before the kids come home). I think Orange Potato Head is Bud. So much attitude.
      Mrs. Anderson may call June Cleaver to help out with those other petulant kids. Stevie Bannon really has a bad case of acne. Vlady has eyes for “Kitten”.

      I think all the kids should be sent to bed without dinner.

      Uncle Ceeesco. “Hey, Betty, come to Uncle Ceesco”.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. You may think I was kidding but I wasn’t. We had a Mayor – Hazel Mccallion, who is now 96 years old and she’s still sharp as a tack. She was our mayor for 36 years and only retired in 2014 at the age of 93. She was so good that she never ran a campaign to get elected. She didn’t need to. She was a housewife and mother and knew what was needed in her community. She’s one of the few people I ever voted for that got elected and I never regretted that vote.


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