Not the news, June 2017
In an unexpected bow to America’s need for clean air, President Trump announced he is banning automobiles accompanied by a massive return to manufacturing buggies.
“All the out-of-work wheelwrights, carpenters, horse breeders, and horseshoe makers,” he announced, “will be back on the job! We will also need millions of guys to clean up the horseshit.” As a note for non horse owners, a horse produces about eight piles of manure a day totaling 50 pounds, more or less. Every day. All year. In all seasons.
That means each horse creates about nine tons of manure per year which can be used as fertilizer, to make bricks, and especially as fuel — with a higher heating value than seasoned hardwood. Plus, the resultant ash is an excellent soil additive.
Auto manufacturers ignored the announcement as General Motors kept rolling out the hybrids. Simultaneously, forty of Trump’s favorite Republican cronies cheered, promising this proposal would produce a massive job surge as well as a perfect, renewable source for heating homes.
Sean Spicer assured reporters that this administration has always been about horseshit, something with which many commentators could (finally) agree.
LOL! Somehow I’m not sure all that horse manure will be good for the environment!
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It is a LOT of manure. We’ll have amazing flowers!
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They could convert the s&@t into pellets and sell in bags for fertilizer. I often bought bags of chicken sh&t for my garden. We have underestimated the man. He is a genius, Wells Fargo returns. 🙂
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They actually already do that. It really IS fantastic fertilizer. Organic, not smelly. But in a horse drawn world, there’s so MUCH of it.
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Pingback: BRING BACK BUGGIES — SERENDIPITY – Pressing Patience
Love, love, love the Spicer spin. Perfect end. A real Paul Harvey moment, eh MrsA? 😉
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We humbly try our best 🙂
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I’m still chuckling away from your other post.
Leslie
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We try to bring humor to a world we we have become the bad guys. Oy.
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haha! Yes, and you know Spicer said that with an absolute straight face and dared any reporter to say otherwise. Such a good one, Marilyn.
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I had this flash last night …
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Time to watch Quackser Fortune Has a Cousin in the Bronx
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Did you know that in 1894, London and New York had an emergency conference on horseshit? They calculated that within 50 y ears, London streets would be buried under tons of horseshit … but surprise! We invented the automobile! it was a miracle!
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