THIS WHEEL GOES “ROUND AND ROUND”

The wheel of meanness, bad manners, incivility, and cruelty just keeps rolling. Here’s an example:


“If you don’t approve of my having my dog in my bed, too bad. The dog lives here and you don’t.”

On the surface, sounds okay to me. I’ve got dogs. Mostly, they do pretty much whatever they want. So as far as I’m concerned, she can sleep with her dogs. She can give them their own place at the dinner table. Her dogs. Whatever she wants to do with them, short of cruelty, is fine.

But … what’s the point of posting this? Are you intending to make anyone who doesn’t sleep with their dogs feel bad about it? Are you angry because your friends have criticized your sleeping with your dog(s)? Is this a big problem in your life? In which case, maybe you need more dog-sensitive friends?

Or are you trying to shame me (who you have never met) for not sleeping with my dogs?

The dogs favorite game is to stand on the top step as I slowly move on up the stairs. They think being above me is hilarious. Maybe it is.

We do not sleep with our dogs. We adore them. Play with them. Overfeed them, then feel guilty about it. Take the best care of them we can … but sorry, we are not sharing the bed.

Is this okay with you, whoever you may be? I mean … is it okay that I have enough trouble breathing without another hairy body or two in my bed? That my back is bad enough without trying to twist myself around two dogs?

Every time I bump into these “memes” on Facebook, I wonder if people understand how rude it is. Do the posters understand other lives may be different and questions like this — which remind me of the old classic, “Do you still beat your wife?” — are intended to make other people feel bad? That other people have their own issues and stuff like this sounds mean-spirited and petty?

The unpleasantness of social media is infecting our world. It’s like a disease and it seems to make many people think that however they feel, right this minute … they have the right (First amendment?) to blast it all over the Internet. My question is why so many people on social media are consistently bitchy to everyone? Not confining their ill-temper to the people at whom (presumably) it was really aimed, but targeting every person who directly or indirectly comes in contact with their timeline.

What’s with the constant snarky, nastiness? Is there something wrong with being nice to other people? Would a dollop of kindness and civility ruin someone’s day?

I’m weary of everyone accepting the overall meanness and unpleasantness as “normal” for this world. Just because you have a right to do it and can’t get locked up for doing it, doesn’t suggest it’s a good idea. It’s not a launch code to go bomb the world with your negativity.

Everyone has a right  to many things, but what’s your point? What are you trying to prove? To whom are you proving it? All I get from it is that you have bad manners. It doesn’t make you more free, brave, or independent. Just nasty.

What this makes you, is RUDE.

39 thoughts on “THIS WHEEL GOES “ROUND AND ROUND”

  1. Someone nailed it, at least for me, 20 years ago when I was recovering from an incredibly involved and destructive online event with a strong “just because i can” flavor. He said, “online, no one can see your eyes. No one knows you. And you can do or be anything you want.”
    Someone posting in their own name and with their own face is probably (and with obvious good reason) going to be a lot nicer and kinder and more polite than someone using the appellation “Whte Snake” and no image at all. One of the most incredibly (for the time, anyway), foul mouthed women I ever knew online was, I found out later, an highly regarded geriatric nurse in an elder hostel. Another, who came across as sweet and extremely pleasant was, if you found her in the political forums, a raging homophobic bigot. Yikes.
    And on places like Facebook and Twitter, these days, all you need is a name, any name, and you can be or say anything you like. Don’t like it? Don’t look. Don’t respond. It’s all too easy to respond, and this is what they want.

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    • I keep unfriending and blocking people. I suspect I get more irritable lately than I used to. I have no patience for bigots and almost none for those who don’t recognize how the stuff they say effects people they’ve never even met. I believe — I could be really wrong about this — that many of these people would be embarrassed and ashamed if confronted personally.

      I do not understand why people can’t just be nice. You know, pleasant. Like Harvey. Remember the movie with Jimmy Stewart?

      Simply, casually friendly and polite. Not complicated. No high society manners required. Just regular, old “please, thank you, excuse me” kind of stuff. “Have you considered” as the entry to a conversation. And letting go when the conversation is getting hot and going nowhere. We may never agree, but we don’t have to hurl killer insults, either. There’s got to be some kind of middle ground where “normal” really IS the rule.

      So I don’t respond, but by the third or fourth annoying meme, I block them. I don’t need that stuff in my face all the time. There’s enough crap going on elsewhere. This is supposed to be FUN.

      Remember FUN?

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Social media often makes fools of people and they don’t even realise it. They lose a girlfriend or boyfriend and we all have to pat them on the head and console them when they tell us all about it. We have to know every pasttime they have. They want to lose weight, they want to gain weight. I have become very quiet on Facebook. Admittedly I crosspost my WP blogs there, might even make a comment, but I have a community page where those they want to belong can, but I do not push it. I don’t care if one person or 100 read the junk I write. One sensible comment is worth a thousand false sentiments. And I do not sleep with my cat, she sleeps with me but only after lunch and does not get too close. Cats keep their distance, they are often very wise.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I play little games while I edit pictures or listen to a book. I breeze through Facebook in the morning, often because Garry posts stuff and he likes to know I’ve seen it. I try not to read anything that will annoy me, but sometimes, something just bugs me. Especially those stupid “memes” that are supposed to be deep and wise but are mostly platitudes. I post my WP stuff on FB and Twitter, but otherwise, I try hard to ignore the rest. I am more successful sometimes than other.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Those memes may be posted in attempt to be funny — who knows.

    I take them as passive/aggressive bullshit thrust into a forum that has made that kind of passive/aggressive bullshit easier than ever. Social media has also put in front of me incontrovertible proof that there are a lot of stupid people in the world. I don’t even think it’s rude, just revelatory.

    Liked by 3 people

      • Don’t ever forget that 49.99% of all humans you will ever meet are, statistically, of below average intelligence (caveat: that does not always equate to being negative). I think my strike rate on facebook is seriously higher than that! 😉 ( Present company excepted, i rush to add). I’ve basically given up on FB for just that reason – even my family were putting up stuff i thought was ignorant crap. The last example was a meme claiming to show terrorist attacks on a map of Europe with Poland having no ‘hits’ and implying this was because Poland had an anti-immigrant policy. The map was actually a weather map of lightening strikes and Poland did not have input data of lightening events. (eye-roll).

        I suspect recent world events and especially close to home have perhaps given lend to you holding a slightly biased view of said memes ( just an observation) and what many people are doing is simply expressing in a readily available to them way the things that have pissed them off with an audience they don’t really care about but who they feel are worth telling basically because they don’t have anyone or where else to get rid of the sh#t that happens to them all the time. The internet/social media is a perfect way to vent off some of that steam build up – it just means we all get to put up with other peoples crap along with our own…. or… we could just let it slide and focus on the few positives out there in cyberspace… like flower pics or teddy bears for example? 🙂 🙂

        love

        Liked by 1 person

        • Do you have my email address? If not, you can email me through my contact box. We can continue our earlier conversation privately.

          I left the original of this post up for two days and I’m not comfortable leaving longer. If you’ve withdrawn your offer, that’s okay. You never owed me anything and all you had to do is say so. But I would appreciate a word just so I know what’s going on. You don’t need to write an essay, but nothing is too little!

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  4. They do it because they can. One woman, long ago, one of the more abrasive sorts, told me when I asked her why, said, I think of the computer as a kind of television. To me, you aren’t real, you are all make believe, like sitcom people, and I can say anything I want. And when I turn off the computer, you all disappear.

    She truly had no idea that what she said actually hurt real people, and yes, we all know that the right comment at the right time stings, no matter the medium.

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  5. I’d even add that maybe someone said something to her about sleeping with dogs and it was none of their business. I did that lately. My step-grandaughter is 3 1/2 and in diapers which disgusts me. I finally said so. It was none of my business and I should have kept my opinions to myself, but I didn’t. So, things aren’t great between me and my step-daughter-in-law because of that. It’s not my problem. I’m not changing the kids. I can even see how it’s simpler than having to deal with, ‘Mommy! I need to pee!’ Sometimes we just can’t keep our stupid mouths shut when we should. AND it’s not like she asked my opinion…

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    • Actually, 3 and a half and still in DIAPERS? That kid’s gonna have issues. Like still sleeping in a crib when you’re hitting adolescence.

      This stuff that shows up on my timeline is probably a lot less annoying, but every day, someone else picks up another of these idiotic memes. Does anyone really think about what they mean?

      Liked by 1 person

        • That’s what it may seem like, but in the end, it tends to wind up with mom controlling the kid. If you knew my granddaughter you’d see that twist where mom does whatever the kid wants and then, as the kid gets older, mom is clinging to her like a barnacle on the bottom of the boat. It’s a sick relationship and time doesn’t improve it.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Or she’s taking the lazy route, and waiting until the kid is in nursery school or kindegarten and letting the teacher potty train her. Or maybe she really really has no idea. I have noticed lately that kids are not potty trained nearly as young as we were. and yes I do know three year olds who are still in diapers. bleah.

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            • Yuck indeed. Personally, I think we are seeing very lazy parents who just don’t want to have to do anything that requires effort. It’s easier to just let it ride. My granddaughter was still sleeping in mom’s bed when she was 14 … so what a surprise that she has independence issues now.

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          • Her mom is very controlling, I think because she’s so unsure of herself. But I love her and I wish I’d kept my mouth shut. Still… 3 1/2. I was out of diapers at 9 months, of course, back then people had to wash them so there was an incentive, I guess.

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  6. When I see the age of some of these witless people, I wonder, how did parents go so wrong? We were raised with values, ethics, morals (ooops dare I say that one out loud?) I know I didn’t push them on my kids but I let them know what I thought was appropriate and inappropriate. Still we live in a live and let live world and anything goes. Then wonder why there are so many full of despair, suicidal, depraved living without conscience. At some point they took away the line in the sand. Now people wander around aimlessly, pointlessly, thoughtlessly, stupidly without direction thinking anything is ok because everything is aloud. Sad thinks me! I agree with all of your statements. I worry about the generations coming up.

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    • Lazy parents. They’d rather let the kid do whatever he or she wants than have to put their foot down. Instilling values and ethics and morals requires work. It’s easier to just let it roll along regardless of the eventual negative outcome. I’d be a very out-of-step parent these days.

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      • You and me too! My grandkids know what I expect and amazingly they listen the first time I ask them to do whatever, chores, assist me with a problem, doesn’t matter. It’s immediate. I show them respect, and it’s returned. And I agree. It’s laziness on the part of parents too involved with themselves to show real honest to god care for their little people. No one wants to be the “bad guy”. bs.

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  7. Internet and so called Social Media are the new playground for people to ‘act out’ their own issues. Sadly it’s a forum where people’s actions aren’t readily returned to them. They can insult and attack people for a distance and seeming anonymity. Many do not even know that THEY themselves are the issue/problem. I’ve figured out some of my own stuff, but still have lots to go. Many things still push my buttons and I’ve got lots of anger. Yet, at least I know and I continue to work it. I’m trying not to get completely hung up on it all and have a little fun along the way. Onward …

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  8. Be thankful it’s largely not intentional or directed AT you, personally. Saw a TV show on Trolls this week – disgusting and horrifying. They had an interview with a gutless coward who had his face pixellated (nick-name might have even been White Snake??) who said he did what he did for fun – he enjoyed it. The sort of thing he’s do is post on a facebook or other social media page that was dedicated to someone who had died way too soon and call the deceased foul names, make unfounded allegations about their moral and personal habits and say they were already in hell etc, etc. causing the recently bereaved relatives and friends untold anguish.

    He was proud of it. If i had been behind the camera and had seen what he had written i don’t think i would have been able to overcome the temptation to pull out a gun and wipe the worhtless scum off the face of this planet. Guess it’s a good job i don’t own, nor ever will own a gun. I could not control myself as much as is necessary to stay out of prison. 😦

    love

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    • Could you please get in touch with me? You can use my contact box on the front page on the left, under the picture. Thanks!! (There’s a reason why I call this a “troll-free” site. Those people are truly scum.)

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