Did mom and dad let you hunt woolly mammoths after you finished your homework? Didn’t you love tearing the raw mammoth meat from the bones and making fire by pounding flint-on-flint? We didn’t need no stinking cell phones or cable TV. We did it all with flint and raw muscle power. If you were weak, you were soon also dead. And that’s the way it going to be again really soon.
Hey, remember having to walk ten miles for a small piece of flint?
Those were the days, weren’t they? Kids today. They have it so easy!
Medical care? If you got too sick, they whacked you over the head with a mammoth bone and left you to rot. Kids, if you didn’t know, that was how the Republican party was born. Mammoths evolved into elephants and voilà! Our first political party!
Don’t forget to grab your flint before you leave the room today.