WISDOM, WISE WORDS AND WTF?! – BY TOM CURLEY

Ellin and I were watching something on TV last week, I don’t remember exactly what, when somebody blurted out: “You should live every day of your life as if it were your last.” 

It’s an old platitude. I’ve heard it hundreds of times. But for some reason, I stopped and really thought about it. What if I did live every day of my life as if it were my last? How would that work out? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that living like that would be the dumbest thing ever!

I mean, here’s how every day of the rest my life would go.

Alarm goes off:

ME: (Yawn) Time to get up. What day is it? Tuesday? What do I have to do today? Oh wait, I just remembered. THIS IS THE LAST DAY OF MY LIFE! WTF?? I’VE GOT JUST 24 HOURS TO LIVE!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?? I FELT FINE YESTERDAY!!

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?? ALL THE THINGS I WANTED TO DO BEFORE I DIE??? EVERY THING THAT’S ON MY BUCKET LIST?? HOW THE HELL AM GOING TO DO THAT?? I’VE ONLY GOT 24 FRIGGING HOURS BEFORE I KICK THE GOD DAMNED BUCKET!

I COULD GO OUT TO THAT EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO. BUT WHAT’S THE POINT!!!? I’LL BE DEAD BEFORE THE MEAL’S DIGESTED!! FUCK THIS! THIS ISN’T FAIR!! SCREW IT! I’LL JUST GET SHIT-FACED DRUNK!

I wake up the next morning:

ME: Ohhhh! My head! Crap. This is the worst hangover I’ve ever had. What was I thinking? Drinking that much? Wait … oh yeah … THIS IS THE LAST DAY OF MY LIFE!! I’M GONNA BE DEAD IN 24 HOURS!!!  OK, 23 HOURS, 57 MINUTES AND 12 SECONDS, 11 SECONDS … WTF??!  WHY ME??!

And so it would go.

I’m sorry, but that’s no way to live.  That’s the Groundhog Day from Hell. I’m quite happy with my life the way it is.

I plan on living the rest of my life going to sleep every night with the firm belief there’s a better than even chance I’m going to live to see the next day. And the day after that.



Categories: Humor, Sayings and Platitudes, Tom Curley

Tags: , , , ,

13 replies

  1. It probably won’t be your last day for a long time, Tom. However, start working on that bucket list so that when it is your last day – you can say – done that, been there and I told everyone how much I loved them.
    Leslie

    Liked by 1 person

  2. And why in the Wide, Wide, World of Sports, we anyone WANT to act like it’s the last day of the lives — even if it WAS the last day? I’m actually reading a book called “Replay” where a couple of different people keep dying and being repopulated again, but with full memory of previous versions of the same life and keep trying to do it better in the hope that they’ll get it right — or something — since neither of them has a clue why it keeps happening. Talk about Ground Hog Day from Hell, they get 50 years of that day from hell.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. LMFAO Seriously! That was epic. And to be brutally honest, absolutely true! There is a limit to what you can pack into 24 hours and there is also a daily grind of living, providing, eating, sleeping, enjoying life to consider…what would you leave out? what would you add in I totally loved this! The humour included.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. One of the world’s stupidest statements, right up there with ‘a goose just walked over my grave” and (to a group of 17 year old highschool graduates) ‘this is the happiest time of your life. You will never be this happy again.” Oh, fine, lets just all go out and lie down on the train tracks. if this is the high point…
    and yeah, definitely Ground Hog Day from Hell.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Like it was your last? Hmmmmm….?

    So no consequences ever after tonight huh…. Hmmmmm… that opens up several million possibilities for criminal activity…
    … no need for any money after tonight so spend every cent i have and maybe take out a payday loan or six…
    … those neighbours that have been bugging me for the last 5 years boy are they in for a surprise….
    … no need for sleep – i’ll have plenty of that soon enough…
    … not enough time to do all the things i’ve wanted to do so what are my top 3?…
    … why the heck am i wasting valuable time blogging about what i am going to do toda

    Liked by 3 people

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