I lived in an apartment building in New York City from the time I was born till I was 42 years old. I loved it and miss some of the perks of apartment living, but I’ve lived in a house in a rural suburb for 26 years.

Surprisingly, I had more of a social life with my neighbors in my building in New York than I do now on my woodsy street. As a young mother, I was lucky to find four other young moms in the building with kids close in age to my kids. We all lived on the same elevator line. That meant that we could run up and down the back stairs to each other’s apartments. We could also take the elevator, but the stairs were quicker. By the time the kids were five or six, they could go up and down, safely, on their own. We all became very close.

Photo of my building on Park Avenue in NYC

This was a Godsend. When we wanted company, we could pop in for an hour or so, with or without the kids. When we needed a break or time to cook dinner or make phone calls in peace, we could send our kids upstairs or downstairs, depending on who was free at the time. Our building had a real ‘neighborhood’ feel. People don’t always think of cities as having these mini communities. But they exist pretty much everywhere, if you make an effort to create them.

Another great advantage of city living is the joy of having doormen in your life. They are an amazing class of people who serve their tenants in many ways. They act as mail deliverers. You handed them your packages and they magically delivered them to the appropriate carrier or service. You never have to deal with the logistics of mailing or shipping anything. The doorman would also accept packages and deliveries on your behalf, so you never had to stay home to accept a delivery. What a luxury!

City Doorman

Doormen can also let trusted workmen into your apartment when you’re not there. So you also never have to wait for workers to show up before you can leave the house. Another great perk!

Another role a doorman can play is to entertain your kids. If you get friendly with the day doorman, they will allow your kids to play in the lobby. My kids skated and skate boarded up and down the long hallway in our lobby. My daughter practiced her cartwheels down that hallway.

This was a part of the very long hallway in our building

The doormen also let the kids ‘spy’ on people in the elevators from the security cameras in the lobby. That was apparently great fun and a real treat.

Typical surveillance camera setup in apartment lobby

The best doormen will let your kids go wild, when no one is looking. There was a very large Ficus tree in our lobby. The doormen let my son, David, put his pet python in the tree to explore through the branches. This continued for a while, until one tenant saw the snake and complained.

Today’s version of our old Ficus tree in the lobby

There can also be disadvantages to apartment living. I grew up on the seventeenth floor. In 1965, there was a major blackout, extending throughout the city and into New England. I was home sick that day. So the housekeeper and I had to carry our thirty pound dachshund up and down at least fourteen flights of stairs to walk him. He could only do one or two flights on his own. (NOTE: most apartment buildings in NYC omit the thirteenth floor because of superstitions!)

Another disadvantage to living above and below other people, is gravity. When the bathroom directly above yours develops a leak, the water runs into your apartment. And often into the apartment below you as well. We had paint and plaster falling on our heads while we showered for a year and a half because our upstairs neighbors could not control a major leak in their bathroom. We replastered and repainted the ceiling three times during that period.

Painting in my old lobby of the apartment building

The apartment below us had similar problems. In addition to the inconvenience, this became an insurance nightmare involving three different insurance companies. For me, the benefits of apartment living outweighed the disadvantages for many years. But after living in my own house for so long, I could never again live in a little box within a bigger box. I have fond memories of city life, but I never want to go back!


  1. The condo was great. We did have a much better social life in the city than we do out here.

    I love being in the country. I love the trees and the river and the dogs and the space. The lack of traffic and great air quality. But I also miss restaurants and chatting with neighbors and shopping in real stores. And snow falling in downtown Boston.

    Given a choice, I’m glad we are here. It’s a choice. Nothing is perfect.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. When I lived in NYC, I thought it was the best way to live – for everyone. I was a total city snob. I thought urban life was the only intelligent way to live for the entire species. Until I had to move full time to the country. And suddenly having a doorman wasn’t the pinnacle of a life well lived. Things like special ed in public schools and a yard for dogs to play in suddenly carried more weight. So I’ve changed. I’m glad I’ve had a chance to experience two opposite ways of life. My understanding of the rest of the world is so much better now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s nice — healthy — to do both. City life requires a lot more effort that life in the country. Just getting around is an issue. Stairs and parking and endless traffic jams. I’m at peace out here. Which is fine.


        1. I worry that I’m doing everything backward. I should have lived in the country when I was younger and in the city as I got older. I worry when driving becomes an issue for me, if it ever does, that I will be totally stranded and isolated.


      2. I lived in an apartment complex for 20 years — Charles River Park – in Boston. When I landed my Boston TV job in ’70, a new colleague told me “CRP” was where all the action was. He was right!!


        1. City life can be exciting. There is definately more to do within a short distance from home. But I found that getting beyond my immediate neighborhoos was such a hassle! I often didn’t do things because the logistics were too complicated. Maybe I just got lazier as I got older. The inconvenience didn’t bother me when I was younger. Or maybe the traffic and transportation issues just got worse over time and I reached my limit. Who knows?


    1. My kids still remember that python in the tree incident! The kids had a blast in the apartment building, which is the opposite of what most people think about the isolating, non communal city. I guess we could put the python that my son has as a pet now (still) in a tree outside the house in the woods. But it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun!

      Liked by 1 person

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