The Island Of Fucked Up Toys

And people actually BUY these toys. No kidding. They pay money for this stuff. This is a reblog, do please address comments to the original author!

Evil Squirrel's Nest

Oh look, we have a new guest. Welcome Vinnie the male vibrator!

We all know that the true spirit of the holidays is going deep into debt so that we can give everybody who is at least as close to us as a Facebook contact something of material value lest we end up condemning ourselves to be buried in Ebeneezer Scrooge’s bottomless grave.  There is no area of this give until you can feel it up your ass mentality that is more accentuated at this time of the year than buying toys for the children… so that a whole year’s worth of assholish behavior can be rewarded with a shit-ton of imported plastic garbage that will be lost, destroyed or forgotten about before Dick Clark’s animatronic body can rock in the New Year…

The toys your kids will be playing with in January.

I’ve done enough time in the toy…

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5 thoughts on “The Island Of Fucked Up Toys

  1. Er, I probably should be banned to the Island of Misfit Toys because I’m confused. YOU (Marilyn) did not write this thing did you? I get a bit muddled about who ‘Evil Squirrel 13’ actually IS…your alter ego? I actually felt sorry for the toys pictured in the original ‘Rudolph’ script/clip of the 70s when it first aired (I think)…it was and remains for reasons I’m not going to try to figure out, the saddest thing I ever heard of. Now those ‘toys’ pictured in Squirrel’s salty post? Only goes to prove the point that I’ve been trying to make about how today’s ‘adults’ … the ones who “write” scripts for television or movies, and who are CEOs and designers of toy companies and the like… these ‘adults’ apparently never grew up learning anything about good taste, charm, or beauty in their toys. Those pictured toys (save Fat Barbie) are all products (IMHO) of a very diseased mind. I wouldn’t have wasted a penny on any of them, had I children or grandchildren I wanted to waste money on. Fat Barbie is actually wonderful and in my opinion, about damned time she showed up. Little girls for decades now have been wishing they were 10 feet tall with a waist so tiny and boobs so big that they’d break in half trying to walk around. Some person with too much time on their hands actually calculated what pre-P.C. Barbie would anatomically be like, were she really really a REAL girl. Poor Barbie helped fashion such ‘ideals’ for generations of little lasses such as sugar daddy (Ken), beard (I’m not explaining that one), ‘ho (self explanatory), and kept woman. I played with Barbie (circa the 1950s and early 60s models) for years and yeah I suppose I have issues about it. But only after the politically correct era of how to view anything benign was ushered in..

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    • Yes, I’m just a diseased mind out there that Marilyn follows… we are two completely different people. My humor is often crass and bizarre, but there’s something about it that reveals great truth about modern civilization. Or maybe that’s just accidental…

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