FAT CELLS: I HAVE A THEORY

Actually, this isn’t a new theory. It came to me back when I had lost more than 100 pounds. Since I was suddenly thin, I was wondered where all that fat had gone. I knew, from my very scanty reading of physics, that matter and energy are the same.

So if fat used to be matter, but it was no longer on my body, where had it gone?


Energy! My fat had become giant clouds of fat cells.


Those low-hanging clouds are really fat cells, waiting to adhere to your hips.

This is how it works. There you are, doing just fine. La di da, fa la la la la … Then you eat one tiny little sandwich and okay, maybe a sliver of pie — and suddenly, you are forty pounds heavier. You can’t figure out how that happened? You are sure some evil sorceress put a hex on you.

The truth? You walked into someone’s fat cell cloud. All those hyper-energized fat cells attacked your body and made you INSTANTLY FAT!

Watch out! The fat is coming!

It wasn’t what you ate. It wasn’t the lack of exercise. It wasn’t your failure to develop a warm and loving relationship with green vegetables and ground kale breakfast drinks (gag). IT WAS FAT CELL CLOUDS.

It explains everything! Doctors, please chat with the physicists. I’m sure I’ve got it right. We need to rethink the entire diet thing. We need to destroy those clouds of fat before they spring onto your hips!

15 thoughts on “FAT CELLS: I HAVE A THEORY

  1. twogalsandabook December 12, 2017 / 3:06 pm

    Actually, the medical field tells us that fat cells don’t go anywhere…. we are all born with a given # of them. They just expand or shrink as weight increases or decreases… so with your weight loss (which I think is fantastic! Congrats!)… you have the same # as before, they are just much smaller. X D

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marilyn Armstrong December 12, 2017 / 3:26 pm

      I BELIEVE in fat cell clouds … and it is nice not being so fat. I believe in fat cell clouds … but I also diet. Because belief is nice, but dieting tends to work better πŸ˜€

      I also feel obliged to mention that THIS IS A JOKE AND NOT A MEDICAL OPINION. I was worried you missed that bit.

      Liked by 4 people

      • Marilyn Armstrong December 12, 2017 / 3:44 pm

        You’re going to insult me no matter what. It’s your thing πŸ˜€ I’ll try to think of something snappy to say in reply!

        Like

  2. Fandango December 12, 2017 / 3:07 pm

    Damn, so it’s true what Joni Mitchell sang. Clouds do get in the way.

    Liked by 2 people

      • swo8 December 12, 2017 / 4:37 pm

        I can always see those clouds coming and there’s usually a piece of pie at the head of it.
        Leslie

        Like

  3. judyt54 December 12, 2017 / 3:20 pm

    oh thank you, thank you. I now have an excuse for all those pounds. All those inches. All those clouds.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Willow December 12, 2017 / 3:37 pm

    I can roll with that hypothesis. πŸ™‚

    Like

    • Marilyn Armstrong December 12, 2017 / 3:45 pm

      As I get fatter and very occasionally, thinner, I definitely roll with it. Especially because dieting doesn’t really work anymore, so whatever happens, gotta roll!

      Like

  5. angloswiss December 12, 2017 / 5:32 pm

    And silly me joins the cloud appreciation society. I am doomed, I love clouds, the more fluffy the better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marilyn Armstrong December 12, 2017 / 7:39 pm

      You just never know what’s IN that cloud. That’s why I’m against storing data in clouds. It might wind up around some hacker’s hips!

      Liked by 1 person

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