FAT CELLS: I HAVE A THEORY

Actually, this isn’t a new theory. It came to me back when I had lost more than 100 pounds. Since I was suddenly thin, I was wondered where all that fat had gone. I knew, from my very scanty reading of physics, that matter and energy are the same.

So if fat used to be matter, but it was no longer on my body, where had it gone?


Energy! My fat had become giant clouds of fat cells.


Those low-hanging clouds are really fat cells, waiting to adhere to your hips.

This is how it works. There you are, doing just fine. La di da, fa la la la la … Then you eat one tiny little sandwich and okay, maybe a sliver of pie — and suddenly, you are forty pounds heavier. You can’t figure out how that happened? You are sure some evil sorceress put a hex on you.

The truth? You walked into someone’s fat cell cloud. All those hyper-energized fat cells attacked your body and made you INSTANTLY FAT!

Watch out! The fat is coming!

It wasn’t what you ate. It wasn’t the lack of exercise. It wasn’t your failure to develop a warm and loving relationship with green vegetables and ground kale breakfast drinks (gag). IT WAS FAT CELL CLOUDS.

It explains everything! Doctors, please chat with the physicists. I’m sure I’ve got it right. We need to rethink the entire diet thing. We need to destroy those clouds of fat before they spring onto your hips!

15 thoughts on “FAT CELLS: I HAVE A THEORY”

  1. Actually, the medical field tells us that fat cells don’t go anywhere…. we are all born with a given # of them. They just expand or shrink as weight increases or decreases… so with your weight loss (which I think is fantastic! Congrats!)… you have the same # as before, they are just much smaller. X D

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I BELIEVE in fat cell clouds … and it is nice not being so fat. I believe in fat cell clouds … but I also diet. Because belief is nice, but dieting tends to work better πŸ˜€

      I also feel obliged to mention that THIS IS A JOKE AND NOT A MEDICAL OPINION. I was worried you missed that bit.

      Liked by 4 people

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