TRICK OR TREAT?

Yesterday was a trick … or today was. One of these two days was definitely a trick and the other a treat.

Yesterday, in the alternate reality in which I lived (or is today the alternate reality?), I spent almost 5 hours trying to get my bank, ye olde Bank of America, to perform a simple transaction. I got transferred, disconnected, connected to the wrong departments, the wrong people, the wrong everything. When I woke up this morning I checked and all of the transactions that I was assured would disappear had not disappeared. All of them had gone through, cleared my account. The money was gone. Zip, zap, finished.

I sighed. Looked at the sky and bemoaned my fate.

Then I called the bank. I got the wrong department of course … but at least I got there in about 3 seconds. The time was so brief I didn’t need to listen to more than a bar or two of the dirge they play while you wait online. The woman who answered the phone (a live woman!) explained I’d gotten the fraud department (again) and since this wasn’t fraud, she needed to connect me to the right guy. Not to worry, she’d go and (are your ready?) “Bring him here so he can help you.”

That’s right. No hold until dial tone. No long wait. No explaining the whole thing again. When he got on the phone, he knew exactly what the problem was and … he fixed it. Just like that.

Whose bank was I talking to? It couldn’t be my bank, could it?

The man I spoke to was sure it was the fault of the church. He had a deep, lovely southern drawl and he explained “Those churches are always out to get you,” which was not a perspective I normally have, but apparently where he came from, banks are fine. It’s churches who are going to empty your pockets.

So all the money is coming back. It’ll take a week, but no problem. Look out for the churches! I did explain that it was a local church and they are a very nice group, but he had a deep and abiding suspicion that all churches are going to clean you out. Who am I to dispute that?

Obviously, I’d altered realities. Where were the obnoxious, unhelpful, aggravating, infuriating people who made my life a misery yesterday? Instead, there were these charming, friendly, helpful folks who couldn’t be more eager to fix my problem. Say what?

Yesterday, it was all trickery.

Today was a treat.

44 thoughts on “TRICK OR TREAT?

  1. angloswiss January 3, 2018 / 11:22 am

    Of course it was the churches. We didn’t even get any post today, they still seem to be on holiday. At the moment I am tearing out my hair over WordPress. Perhaps I am doing something wrong because I work on a computer and not a telephone or iPad.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marilyn Armstrong January 3, 2018 / 11:48 am

      I go through the same thing each time they randomly change something simple to something much more complicated … and not as good. Why do they do it? Why can’t they give us a choice, as in “choose the new style or stick with the old?” I have no idea. They seem determined to try to get us all in lock step, doing the same dance to the same music.

      I don’t get it at all. I don’t understand the advantage to them of making so many of us work in ways we find so unpleasant. They won’t answer the question and we can’t help but keep asking it.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Garry Armstrong January 3, 2018 / 12:19 pm

        “Dog Day Afternoon” Al Pacino, Martin Balsam.

        Liked by 1 person

        • lwbut January 4, 2018 / 2:51 am

          Normally the only way to get banking staff to do as you want/ask… carry a shotgun! πŸ˜‰

          Liked by 2 people

            • lwbut January 4, 2018 / 11:44 pm

              But handguns are fine…. riiiiight??? πŸ˜‰

              Like

              • Marilyn Armstrong January 5, 2018 / 12:04 am

                I think people in banks pretty much are anti-any-kind-of-gun. I could be wrong, but I’m just guessing here.

                Liked by 1 person

                • lwbut January 5, 2018 / 12:19 am

                  Banks are such sticklers for rules aren’t they? I think they reckon their customers do have the right to bear arms – as long as they secrete them unobtrusively about their person and don’t brandish them in a scary manner! πŸ™‚

                  Like

          • Garry Armstrong January 5, 2018 / 11:14 am

            but don’t misspell holdup note as Woody Allen did, “I have a gub” in his “Take The Money And Run”. Edit your holdup note, check your gun.

            Liked by 1 person

            • lwbut January 6, 2018 / 2:05 am

              Self-editing is not a strongpoint of youth these days – and spellcheck/predictive text is even worse! ” I have a gum – put all your monkey in the bog.”

              Liked by 2 people

              • Garry Armstrong January 6, 2018 / 12:57 pm

                Not like the old days — when criminals were literate.

                Liked by 1 person

                • lwbut January 7, 2018 / 2:58 am

                  We still have some…. but most of them have moved into Politics these days! πŸ˜‰

                  Liked by 1 person

                  • Garry Armstrong January 7, 2018 / 12:27 pm

                    True, They move back and forth to stay active.

                    Liked by 1 person

  2. Embeecee January 3, 2018 / 11:30 am

    I’m glad you got some help. Now in a week let us know if things actually ARE fixed. I’m having trouble with my landline phone company and despite assurances from a LOT of people, nothing is fixed. And yesterday? I think all the ‘good’ customer service people got a holiday or something…because they weren’t working here either.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marilyn Armstrong January 3, 2018 / 11:50 am

      Yes. There is the “wait and see” thing, too. It is supposed to get fixed, but until I see it fixed — in about a week or a little more — it’s still a big question mark. At least I have a claim number this time. That’s something.

      It was weird. It was like I’d rung a completely different organization. Who knows who will be back in charge the next time I talk to them?

      Good luck with the telephone. Along with banks, the biggest thugs are the tel-com companies. They are truly terrible people.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Garry Armstrong January 3, 2018 / 12:20 pm

        Need to round up an angry mob and storm the place….

        Like

  3. omniclassic January 3, 2018 / 12:48 pm

    Well, I don’t belong to any church either. Bottom line: It’s not banks or churches.., it’s people, humans. Ya just can’t trust ’em.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Marilyn Armstrong January 3, 2018 / 2:18 pm

      I really don’t think it was the church exactly. More like their bad software. REALLY bad software.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Garry Armstrong January 7, 2018 / 12:28 pm

      Dogs (4 leg, furry kind) should run banks with biscuits as bonuses.

      Like

  4. swo8 January 3, 2018 / 1:11 pm

    Do you have an ombudsman for banking? What ever happened to Ralph Nader and protection of consumers ?
    Leslie

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Covert Novelist January 3, 2018 / 1:33 pm

    LMAO Garry! omg omg I can’t stop! We’ve been through this mill (grinder) too. Real live people dedicated to doing an excellent job!?? Where did they go? Where and whom do they work for? uuum….not sure! on that one. I’ll eagerly await a blog in a week to ensure the problem is solved! I’ve become a sceptic in these matters. I recently tried to get a picture (as I can’t drive, I let my driver’s license lapse – made sense at the time, right?) wrong! Apparantly, IT IS the end all be all of identity. Without it, you can’t get a new picture anywhere. After weeks of running to different government offices trying to get said picture, it came down to “you let your driver’s license expire” and you weren’t even BORN in this province. What???? Seriously???? I am not a part of Canada but some disjointed unconnected province called Saskatchewan the place of my birth? JC what nonsense and nightmare. Now I have to try to get ahold of another government agency to prove I am who I am and pay 27.50 for the priviledge even though I have a birth cirtificate and SIN # issued BY SAID government. But it’s out of date (as in it isn’t the same size and shape as the newly designed ones (even my 16 year old grand daughter’s which was issued 2 years ago is out of date because it doesn’t look right) and in order to get a passport, she had to get an up-to-date birth certificate. Beaurocracy is a painful thing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marilyn Armstrong January 3, 2018 / 2:11 pm

      I’m glad it’s not just US. You’d think computers would make this stuff easier. Instead, it seems to make it harder. They should be able to match the numbers electronically, right? But … but … but …

      I’m at a loss about all of this stuff. I was involved in designing stuff like this and we believed it was going to simplify life. We’d have one, maybe two pieces of stuff to ID us and everything else would be in the computer banks. Easy peasy. Instead, it’s all in THE OTHER computer bank which isn’t CONNECTED to the NEW banks. So effectively, it doesn’t exist. We never imagined where you can’t import data from one system to the next, but that is exactly what has happened. So ALL the old data can’t be imported and everyone has to do every all over again.

      Ah bureaucracy. Also AH STUPIDITY! Because they didn’t have to design it that way. It didn’t need to BE this difficult.

      Like

      • Covert Novelist January 3, 2018 / 3:27 pm

        They say it’s for security, compartmentalizing for safety sake, right! If that’s so why so much lost data?

        Like

        • Marilyn Armstrong January 3, 2018 / 3:33 pm

          It’s really an error they don’t want to admit. They spend fortunes having special order software created without specifying that the NEW software must be able to accept data from their previous version of the same software. I have seen this over and over through the years. They spend millions of dollars and it doesn’t work. For reasons I never understood, they accept delivery rather than sending it back and telling them to get it right. That would be IF the order was correct — and it usually isn’t.

          They don’t know what they need when they place an order for software. I wrote a lot of books for people who were absolutely sure they knew what they wanted. When I told them they wanted the wrong thing and I would give them the right product for the same price. BUT they insisted that they knew what they wanted, so I got paid twice. Once to do it wrong, then again, to fix it. I always got it in writing that despite my advice to the contrary, they were insisting on buying the wrong manual.

          This is normal, especially for governments where the people who supposedly know what they are doing, don’t.

          Like

          • Covert Novelist January 3, 2018 / 3:48 pm

            LMAO financially you came out a winner. I know my son deals with this daily. People call asking for help (calling the TECH) who knows his stuff inside and out, and TELL him what to do when they don’t even know where or how they receive service and can’t be bothered or don’t know how to follow simple instructions relating to wifi, internet or anything else. Then he gets the entitled who figure they shouldn’t have to lift a finger and pulling the plug on the “box” is more work than they should have to do. An amazing world in which we live, isn’t it?

            Like

      • Covert Novelist January 3, 2018 / 3:28 pm

        No, it didn’t. They could put safety checks in that denied access to those who didn’t require it but no….

        Like

  6. Taswegian1957 January 3, 2018 / 3:55 pm

    If you ever encounter that particular lady on the phone again maybe you should ask her what days and hours she works and only call the bank at those times.

    Another piece of craziness that seems to have crept in is that everyone you do business with now wants your moblie number before they will process your account. I have a mobile, my sister does not and doesn’t particularly want one. I told her to give them mine which seems to satisfy them but it does seem that we are being pushed into a mobile only world.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marilyn Armstrong January 3, 2018 / 4:32 pm

      I always tell them up front NO mobile phone. Then I point out I’m old. They all think that old people can’t use technology and I avoid telling them anything that would confuse them. Of course, I do have a mobile (smart) phone, but I never use it unless I’m on the road. Otherwise, no thanks. I’ve been waiting for the bank to send me one of their surveys so I can say thank you properly. They always send them, but not this time. Proving that this really IS an alternate universe!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. loisajay January 3, 2018 / 9:04 pm

    So a live person at a bank blamed a church. Marilyn–however did you not bust out laughing?!

    Like

    • Marilyn Armstrong January 3, 2018 / 9:07 pm

      I was just so glad someone was helping me. But it was funny. I just wanted to get my money back — any way I could!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. lwbut January 4, 2018 / 2:56 am

    You got through to a real live and HELPFUL person(s) in under five seconds phoning a bank… you know that that means don’t you Spike???

    It was all just a very nice dream, not any kind of reality i know of!

    Sorry – try again when you wake up. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marilyn Armstrong January 4, 2018 / 1:49 pm

      I know, right? We’ll know in another week if the problem really WAS solved. Supposedly, but until i have evidence …

      Liked by 1 person

  9. evilsquirrel13 January 4, 2018 / 12:43 pm

    Being a heathen saves me a lot of money on tithing, and apparently a lot of other hidden costs as well. I hear Satan has a lovely southern drawl…

    Like

    • Marilyn Armstrong January 4, 2018 / 1:43 pm

      I believe that is a traditional southern point of view and from everything I see, it is probably accurate. Those paw prints are just everywhere these days, aren’t they?

      Like

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