Sometimes, when I’m convinced the world hates me, I realize it doesn’t. It doesn’t — on the whole — even know I exist. I’m not sure if that is comforting or the exact opposite, but it reminds me to not worry about what “they” think because they aren’t thinking about me. Whatever they ARE thinking about, I am very far from their main focus.
Except for Garry and our dogs. They think about me. Yay family!
We constantly worry about how we must appear in the minds of others. But the truth is that nobody cares about who we are, what we’re doing and how we’ve messed up.
We are at the center of the galaxy only in our own tortured minds.
Video via – The School of Life
Further Readings and References: What Others Think of You – and The Fall of Icarus (The Book of Life)
Categories: Humor, Life, reblog, Relationships
Fashion – I have my own style, know what works for me, and in years when good examples come up, I will stock up, ..if I have the means that is, and the right colors do too, like a few years ago, a style of dress came up in my favorite catalog, bought three in each one in the colors that I prefer…. … so I have things for a long time… and get compliments on what I wear…. Have things that are many years old… and don’t have a real lot… Things do wear out after all, you know.
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Decades ago, as a teen, I went to a school with a lot of wealthy, very wealthy children, and I was in the minority who weren’t. Like most teens, wanting to fit in and overly concerned about what others thought and wanting acceptance among my peers that judged if you were worthy or not based on what brands you wore, where you went socially as well as vacations, what you listened to and watched, etc, what kind of car you had and where you lived, I would get very down, knowing that try as hard as I could, I would never be accepted by their criteria. Then one day I had an epiphany (about 16)! The thought occurred to me who are these people that I have never met, that dictate to the world what they should be wearing “this year” in order for a person to appear “in” and successful? That all my peers followed blindly, and by peer pressure, were “enforcing” what the mysterious ones decided? (Same with everything else– music, movies, books, hot spots, etc.) And I am not “worthy” because of what these unknown people say? I decided then, that if that determines whether I am worth being seen with or talked to, and to stay in their circles, constantly have to chase that– because styles change, etc… in order to be “accepted” I would constantly have to have the latest thing…. then these people are not worth trying to be friends with. And I have lived my life that way (going on 4 decades since), rejecting what the “world” says how I “must look, watch, go, do, etc” because it made no sense to me. I have always been a bit of a rebel, a non-conformist and marched to the beat of my own drum– and you know what? I am glad I came to that realization fairly young, because it is so liberating, not having to follow trends and keeping up. It seems that many people do not come to that conclusion until much later in life and I feel sorry for them. that they spent so much of their lives in bondage of worrying about what others thought and wanting acceptance when none of that matters. If someone doesn’t value another for what and who they are, instead of the superficial stuff, then they aren’t worth having as a friend.
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Amen!
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Absolutely! Besides — I’ve NEVER been fashionable in any way. Ever.
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I figure mostly people are exactly like we are, namely so busy being worried about what others are thinking or going to think of us that they never have the time to actually be concerned or think about who we are and what we do.
If more people realised this sooner i think there would be a lot less worried people and more creative free individuals in this world! 🙂
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And I also think that the number of people who genuinely care about us decreases with the years. They are busy with whatever their lives contain and they sort of vanish into a mist. It’s not meanness or anger or anything. It’s just … nothing much. I have long since stopped feeling bad about it. I don’t have time for that.
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I think that’s true too. Stopping feeling bad about things is definitely a worthwhile exercise – mostly because the only one it really hurts is yourself. Forgiveness is more about the forgivee than the forgiven. 🙂
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It took me a LONG time to figure that out, but when I did, it made everything easier.
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Bob, that’s been life work project for me. Think I’m beginning to see some daylight.
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Can relate!!!!, but it didn’t take an ocean. thankfully… Though I still often am not sure where I fit in…. My second husbands family has become mine…He has 5 siblings. LOL. ..We just take the role of being grandparents with a certain amount of relish …But most of our collective grandkids are scattered from one side of the country to the other. My youngest son’s family is only 70 miles away, and we are their only grandparents… And my late daughter’s two kids are both relatively close – the oldest in college. ..and his sister adopted into the extended family.
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Getting older has simplified everything. We don’t have a lot of friends and are lucky that the little family I’ve got lives nearby. Garry’s brother live in Minnesota and in our 27 years together, have never manage to figure out how to come and visit. We have a telephone and greeting card relationship. Despite that, we are pretty comfortable with each other and the people we see. I have more or less given up worrying about the people who don’t care. They don’t care. I’m not going to make them care and I’m not sure it matters anyway. It might have mattered 25 years ago, but now? Not really.
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time has simplified some of my family angst.
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Being an only child and an only grandchild, , for me it has always been more of an issue with finding where I fit in the scheme of those around me, Mind you, I lived on a farm, and after my aunt retired from teaching and moved permanently, first to what had been y grandparents place in the farm yard, and then moving into the bigger farmhouse with us, keeping her place as a place to entertain a couple of her old school mates and my rare pace to have an occasional birthday party ,etc. On her death bed, I had come back up on vacation with my family, she said. “You know, you weren’t supposed to get married. You were supposed to stay here and take care of me. !!!! My unspoken retort to that was, “I am sure that is not what my parents wished for me”… I was married and had three kids by that time. And living in Minneapolis way out of her reach. I was back up there in about two weeks, because she had passed away.. And a year later me and my little family had moved back up there to take care of my folks…..in their last years. willingly.
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I didn’t know where I belonged, but I sure wanted to find out. I also felt the only way it was going to happen was to get as far away as I could from my family. They had a LONG reach. It took an ocean.
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I am solipsistic, so everything that exists depends upon my existence.
https://fivedotoh.wordpress.com/2017/09/08/when-i-die-you-will-cease-to-exist/
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Yes, that is the current structure of our government. Oy.
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It is indeed comforting to read this being a person who has always indulged in overthinking about what others think about me
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I think we ALL overthink it. Human nature maybe?
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You reminded me of a quote I read somewhere. It said : “You worry about what others think when you’re 20, you stop worrying about what others think when you’re 40 but when you’re 60, you realise no one was ever thinking about you”.
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I believe people think about us when we are in their way or they need us. But over all, we mostly worry about ourselves. Is that good? Or is that just the way it really is? Both?
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It is all in our mind. If we do all the thinking, what will they think?
It isn’t good or bad, it just is.
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I love Bruegel. Have you seen ? I think it’s a nearly perfect film. It doesn’t care that I think that, though.
It is kind of funny that at the end of the video, the announcer says, “We hope you have enjoyed our video” 😀
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I’ve been really enjoying their stuff. They have one about being “nice” to your “inner idiot.” I really related to that. I have a huge, inflated inner idiot. Sometimes, it jumps out and says BOO to the world.
That is a great painting. It’s a whole encyclopedia of humankind.
I hope you enjoyed the video 😀
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😜😀
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We are nothing more than a speck of dust upon the universe. It’s up to us to find something of significance to provide us with moments of joy.
Leslie
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It’s good to be reminded that we are only the center of our own universes. As I said — it’s both comforting and disturbing at the same time. Writing helps me. I don’t really know what else I would do if I didn’t write.
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It’s very much part of you.
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I have always felt that the whole world revolved around ME. 🙂
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I know. What a concept. You mean … it ISN’T? How ARE you? Haven’t heard from you in a while and got a little twitchy … but I can’t remember anything for more than 30 seconds, so after that, I forget everything.
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Nothing has changed. Still in this contentious hell, can you believe it?
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Sadly, I can. This stuff can take a really long time, especially when one of the parties isn’t in the same country as the other. Mine went on for three years. BUT it ended, eventually. It does end.
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Bizarre.
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Not all that unusual. You can get everything in order, but then you need both parties to SIGN and sometimes, that can go on for months. Sometimes years. It’s not easy unless both parties want it to be easy.
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You warned me.
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It’s just one of those things you needed to know. I’m surprised your lawyer didn’t tell you. Or your friends. There are a lot of divorced people around these days … like one out of two married people no longer are.
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Everyone warned me. I was unable to process what people said, I figured my situation was going to be different. Wrong.
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Well, welcome to the human race. We ALL think it will be different for us. Sometimes, you get lucky and it IS different, but mostly, it’s just like everyone else. But it will end. What you need is to not think about it all the time. It’ll happen. The less stress you put yourself under, the better. You can’t FORCE it to happen, so there’s no point in making yourself crazy.
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Absolutely, Princess! Ready for your closeup? (SMILE)
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ALWAYS, Mr.DeMille!
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