THE OLYMPICS OF LIFE – BY ELLIN CURLEY

I’m looking forward to watching the Winter Olympics this year. I don’t do sports myself, but I love watching Olympic sports on TV. I learn the names of different kinds of athletic maneuvers and I cheer on the favorite athletes of the day.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if everyday activities were scrutinized and graded the way figure skating is, or gymnastics. There would be names for the different techniques for folding sheets – and folding the fitted sheet would rate a higher level of difficulty.

DISHWASHING


Dishwashing would be my favorite event. There is so much technique involved and so many options for equipment and strategy. You can use a dishrag or a sponge. Don’t get me started on the varieties of sponge technologies out there! You can even use one of those things on a stick, though some of those have a built-in soap dispenser. I think devices like that should be banned as cheating.

The choice of dish soap is a whole other category for grading. Also, if you use the Consumer Reports favorites, your difficulty level should be reduced.

Now for the actual washing of the dishes.

Do you pre-rinse? Do you use hot or just warm water? Different wrist movements should have fancy names (like moves in gymnastics) as well as the circular arm movements — clockwise or counter-clockwise?

How do you scrub or scrape off baked on or age-hardened food? That is the test of a true champion.

Do you resort to additional equipment or rely solely on elbow grease?

Then, there’s rinsing. Do you rinse using the sprayer?It’s faster but it causes splashing – a serious reduction in points. You’ll never get a “ten” using the sprayer.

Sticking the landing would be to quickly and accurately secure a dish in one of those annoying plastic dish drying racks. That might be my personal Waterloo.

THE DISHWASHER


Putting dishes in the dishwasher is more an art form than a sporting event. You have to be creative, have an excellent sense of spatial relations, as well as patience and perseverance. It’s also an exercise in logic.

Stacking dishes in the machine could be a timed event. The most plates, bowls and cups you can fit in the dishwasher in the shortest time span wins. You could challenge your spouse or roommate and make it a family affair.

OUTDOOR HOUSEHOLD SPORTS: PARKING AND BACKING UP


And then there’s parking the car, or as I call it — backing into the garage. This is one more fun event in the Olympics of life. Just try backing your car into my garage. If you don’t hit anything, you’re already a champion. Maybe making it a sporting event would make it a less frustrating and more enjoyable.

One can always hope.

11 thoughts on “THE OLYMPICS OF LIFE – BY ELLIN CURLEY

  1. swo8 January 25, 2018 / 12:54 pm

    The dishwashing olympics – I love it ….chuckle.
    Leslie

    Like

    • Ellin Curley January 25, 2018 / 1:48 pm

      More people could relate to the events if it was a housework Olympics. You’d get larger audiences and more enthusiastic crowds. I’ll bet there are lots of people with mad skills in otherwise mundane tasks!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Garry Armstrong January 25, 2018 / 2:51 pm

        Ditto on dishwashing for the Olympics.

        We stopped using our dishwasher several years ago. Might’ve coincided w/ when “The Kids” moved out.

        Since Marilyn cooks, I wash the dishes. Marilyn is very tidy and uses as few pots as needed. Hence, there’s not much volume. It’s WHAT’s on the pots, plates, etc. I try to presoak before we sit down to eat so the pots and pans are easier to clean.

        I am guilty as charged with using too much liquid detergent. Marilyn is on my 6 about my excessive use. She explains it’s not good for the surfaces of some of the pots, pans and dishes. Naturally, I rebel at that notion. Naturally, because I’m a guy who knows everything.

        I’m surrounded by the dogs during dish washing because they want to pre-rinse the plates covered with sauce, pieces of meat, etc. They volunteer to really clean everything off so that washing will be very easy for me.

        I developed my KP skills as a kid and honed them during Marine Corps basic training.

        I’m good to go!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Ellin Curley January 26, 2018 / 2:20 pm

          We always let the dogs do a pre wash on the dishes. It really helps. They’re good at getting the baked on bits off. I think they realize that this is a necessary job that they perform for us. They wait patiently while we eat till we’re ready to call in the tongue troops. They are very conscientious about it and try not to miss any spots. I rarely have to soak my plates. I sometimes use the dogs for baked on food in the baking dishes as well.

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      • swo8 January 25, 2018 / 4:01 pm

        I would watch more of the olympics but I hate see those young athletes who have worked so hard to get there and they have a bad performance. When a skater falls doing a difficult jump – I feel so bad for them.
        Leslie

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        • Ellin Curley January 26, 2018 / 2:22 pm

          It is sad to watch someone crash and burn after all the work they have put in to get to the Olympics. But many stories are positive and gratifying and exciting. And some athletes come from behind and do something unexpectedly great. That makes up for the unexpected failures.

          Liked by 1 person

          • swo8 January 26, 2018 / 4:04 pm

            That is true, Ellin.

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  2. Marilyn Armstrong January 25, 2018 / 3:54 pm

    The problem with the dog pre-rinse cycle is that the one dog who really doesn’t need another extra anything is the piglet who will push the other two out of the way and eat it ALL. Bonnie is a very determined eater. Duke stops eating when he isn’t hungry. Gibbs would eat until he bursts, but we have managed to keep him relatively trim. But Bonnie is pretty tubby and I’ve finally decided, she just doesn’t need any of it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Garry Armstrong January 26, 2018 / 1:35 pm

      OOH, Somebody outed “The Princess”.

      Like

    • Ellin Curley January 26, 2018 / 2:26 pm

      We don’t leave a lot of actual food on the plates for the dogs so we’re not giving them a lot of extra calories. They’re just getting the taste of the food from the juices or gravy or the bits left stuck on the plate plus a few crumbs here and there. You can also hold the plate in your hand and give it specifically to one dog or the other. I will block the other dog until the first one is finished. This way Bonnie couldn’t push anyone out of the way to get more than her share. If I left the plates on the floor, the dogs might fight over them, or push the plates around the slippery hardwood floors.

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      • Marilyn Armstrong January 26, 2018 / 2:42 pm

        We tried that, but Bonnie is alpha and the other dogs will not compete with her. She’s a small dog, so a little goes a long way. Unless it’s literally crumbs or gravy with nothing else, I can’t give it to her. She has become our own Porko Supremo.

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