A couple of weeks ago, Ellin and I watched the Golden Globes.
Normally we don’t much care who wins or loses, but for the past few years I’ve been getting “screener” copies of all the movies nominated for all the award shows. We watch as many as we care to watch and can always watch the ones that win.
So, we watched the show. Near the end of the show Oprah Winfrey was given the Cecile B. DeMille award.
It’s their version of a life-time achievement award. The winner gets to give a speech without having to worry about the dreaded “music” telling them to shut the fuck up and get off the stage before they get “the hook.”
In 2017, year the winner was Meryl Streep. She gave a speech eviscerating our “So called Commander-in-Chief.” This year Oprah didn’t specifically name the President at all. Even so, she gave a presidential speech and by most accounts, a pretty good one. In the middle of it, I paused the show and said to Ellin. “Holy crap, it sounds like she’s running for president.”
And sure enough, that was the headline the next day.
I’m writing all of this, not because I support or oppose Oprah Winfrey running for president. I’m not writing this because if he’s done nothing else, Cheesy MacCheese Head has proved the old adage we were taught as children: “Anybody can grow up to be President.” More importantly, he’s proved that just because anybody can be president, not everybody SHOULD BE!!
No, I’m writing this because I predicted that Oprah Winfrey would be president 28 YEARS AGO!!!
Don’t believe me? I have proof. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far … well actually, it was this galaxy. I wrote a show called “A Half Hour Radio Show.”
The premise of the show was that two hosts, me and my partner Jeff, would present a half hour of witty, satirical bits, and skits. The problem was, we never ever did any of them because something would always happen. We would never get to our actual show. In the first episode, the radio station we were on was sold during the opening music and they installed an instantaneous ratings computer that computed ratings in real time. Every time we went to commercial, the format would change so we never got to our show.
After that, things got much weirder.
In one episode, Jeff and I got sent 30 years into the future to do a show with our future selves. Why? Well, we still had the show 30 years in the future and we realized one day that we had no show for that week.
We thought it would be funny to get our selves from 30 years ago to come to the future and do a show together. Then they remembered that they actually did do that, so now, they had to do that. So, they did.
If that confuses you, it should. If figuring out time travel doesn’t give you a headache, you’re not doing it right.
The point of that particular show was to look at the world 30 years from then. Our young selves asked our old selves about what life was like. We learned things like:
- There were 5000 TV channels. Today, cable, satellite, fiber, etc.
- Every song had its own channel. Today, it’s Pandora, Spotify, etc.
- There was a commercial channel. It only played commercials. Today, it’s on YouTube.
- When asked who was the President of the United States, our older selves answered: “Oprah Winfrey.”
It’s on tape. You can listen to it here.
Not only did I write it, I wrote it the in early 1990s
when 30 years in the future was 2020!
I was JOKING!! I was trying to be FUNNY! I thought that was all CRAZY stuff! Considering what’s been going on, maybe it’s not so crazy after all.
I wanted to make the future as funny and absurd as I could. I never thought I’d become “The Nostradamus of Nonsense.”