CONVERSATIONS WITH MY HUSBAND – BY ELLIN CURLEY

 

THE TOILET SEAT

ME Honey, you left the toilet seat up AND you didn’t flush!

TOM – I know. I did it on purpose.

ME – What? Why would you do that?

TOM – Easy. Because I knew I was going to have to blow my nose after I took my shower.

ME – What does that have to do with anything?

TOM – Because if I wait to flush until after I’ve blown my nose, I only have to flush once, instead of twice. I’m saving water.

ME – Why don’t you put the seat down and flush after you use the toilet. Then throw your used tissue into the wastebasket.

TOM – (SILENCE)


PAPER TOWELS

TOM – Why do you leave used paper towels lying around in the kitchen? Why don’t you throw them out?

ME – Because I can use them again. I’m saving paper.

TOM – You can’t use paper towels over again! That’s the whole point of DISPOSABLE paper towels. They’re disposable!

ME – That’s ridiculous! You can use regular towels again if they’re not too dirty. So why can’t you do the same with paper towels?

TOM – Because I don’t want to have to look at dirty paper towels on the kitchen counter.

ME – Okay. I’ll hide them so you don’t have to look at them.

TOM – I guess that works.

ME – (Sigh) Now I just have to remember where I put them.


TRASH TALK

ME – Tom, please take the garbage out. The bag is overflowing, as usual.

TOM – Damn it! I hate dealing with these overstuffed garbage bags! Garbage is falling out everywhere! This is ridiculous.

ME – Then why don’t you just empty the garbage one of the first three times I ask you to. BEFORE it starts to overflow.

TOM – Where’s the challenge in that?

14 thoughts on “CONVERSATIONS WITH MY HUSBAND – BY ELLIN CURLEY”

    1. Of course they are! As long as there are men and women living together, these conversations will happen!

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    1. Tom speaks with the knowledge of a veteran network news man who’s covered world crises for 30 plus years. I think he knows his way around TP (A NATIONAL health crisis) and paper towels.

      William Paley and the Tiffany News Network are in Tom’s corner.

      An illegal is cleaning the network toilets.

      Liked by 2 people

        1. Leslie, I was just kidding but it’s probably true. I was just teasing Ellin about her husband, Tommy. When we visit, Tommy and I are always sharing war stories about our “Newsie” days. Must be a lot of hot air for the women. I’m surprised Marilyn or Ellin don’t use air spray on us.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I love hearing war stories from the old days in the news! You and Tom both have such fascinating and funny stories to tell. I keep trying to get Tom to write them all down. Maybe he’ll write some blogs about the weirder incidents.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Glad you enjoy them. I’m always afraid it’s boring, repetitous stuff for you. I know Marilyn has heard my stories a gazillion times. Reminds of the old guys in movies who used to tell their old war stories while others rolled their eyes. I’d hate to become one of them.
              I enjoy the time with Tommy because we’ve travelled the same roads. I need to gather my stories for “the book”.

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    2. Absolutely! These issues go across all borders and through all nationalities and all cultures in one way or another. I love writing about things that people can relate to so universally. It’s very gratifying when people see themselves in what I’ve written.

      Liked by 1 person

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