A BUSY, BUSY DAY IN THE MERRY MONTH OF MAY – Garry Armstrong

T.G.I.F.!

It’s the end of a not so merry week in this murky month of May.  The weather Gods have not been kind to many people in the United States. I guess we should be happy not to have volcanoes, flowing lava, tsunamis, mud slides, blizzards or raging forest fires.

Think positive, always think positive, a political pal (currently in jail), once preached to me.

I found the shipping place!
In, get receipt and off I go!

The early wake-up had me in a sullen mood from the start. First stop, drop off a package going back to Amazon. We don’t put collars on our dogs when there are no ingredients listed for the product.

Next, the audiologist for a checkup of my hearing aids and a peek inside my ears. We’re already in the consult stage for cochlear implant surgery that may restore my hearing for the first time in my life. The hearing aids are clean, if not pristine, but one of my ears was in trouble.

Park here!
See audiologist here

I already knew the answer without asking.  I’ve done it again!  Over zealous use of Q-Tips with a piece of cotton firmly wedged deep inside my left ear.  My “good” ear.

I could see Marilyn giving me “the look.”It will be her “You’ve done it again” look.  I will have to schlep to the PC for help. If I could my punch myself in the face, I would. My excuse?  My ears were itchy and moist, so I’d probed deeper than I should with the Q-Tip the previous evening. Karma is my  frequent guest.

Prescription!

Not done yet, it’s off to the pharmacy at Walmart. Neither of the pharmacies we normally use had the script, so I had to go to Walmart. But, the staff was friendly and accommodating.  They laughed when I asked if someone could probe my ear for the delinquent piece of cotton.

My self-anger grew darker. I really know better. This is not the first or second time. Me and Q-Tips have a long and complex relationship.

Suspiciously empty parking lot

The parking lot at my PC’s office was unusually empty. Voila!  In and out for me,  I thought.  Wrong, Beano breath.  It was lunch hour. The offices were closed.  I sat for half an hour,  tapping my skull in sync with the “Beavis and Butthead” theme. Agony flipped to ecstasy when my PC showed up, smiled compassionately and quickly flushed out that devious cotton shred. Joy couldn’t mute the stupidity I felt.

The mower guy

Suddenly, I realized I was hungry. Starving. I’d been rushing since I awakened to complete all my errands. I hadn’t even drunk a cup of morning Joe.

Later, I passed some time with a fellow manicuring the lawn across from the medical complex. He burped, recounting his recently finished jumbo sandwich. My stomach repeatedly growled as I watched the landscape-whisperer.

I was drooling when I hit our local Deli.  Naturally,  there was a long line in front of me.  People slowly selecting lottery tickets.  My stomach sounded like an inferno.  Mother of Mercy.  It was longer than any Mickey Spillane-Mike Hammer wait.

Finally,  journey’s end. Back home to Kachingerosa.  The furry kids were full of energy, no doubt anticipating a blue plate luncheon.  They’d wait this day.  The odor of the dog’s playground did little to placate my hunger.

It was hard to face myself today where I was the perp on everything that went sour.

Adios,  Bad hombre!

Author: Garry Armstrong

As a reporter for Channel 7 in Boston for 31 years, I was witness to most of the major events affecting the region. I met a lot of people ... politicians, actors, moguls, criminals and many regular folks caught up in extraordinary situations. Sometimes, I write about the people I've met and places I've been. Sometimes, I write about life, my family, my dogs and me. Or what might otherwise be called Life.

24 thoughts on “A BUSY, BUSY DAY IN THE MERRY MONTH OF MAY – Garry Armstrong”

  1. Kind of like your overindulgence with dishwashing liquid that threatens premature flotation of the surrounding domicile and its inhabitants. Everything in moderation my friend, especially when digging into your ears, or other body parts. Don’t overdo it. 🙂

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    1. Ben, another skeleton in my closet. Overuse of dishwashing liquid. I love the smell of “Dawn” in the morning. It feels so good in my hands. Almost a sensual feeling.

      Other body parts? No, I won’t go there, Bro.

      Like

  2. My father was part of that clan that liked to lose things in their ears…my mother was always on about it, but as one myself who understands intimately the annoyance factor of the moist and itchy inside one’s ear, I’m guilty too and never presume to judge. But I’m more a bobby pin type of gal. Widened slightly, those things make great ear probers, no cotton or bits to lose. Of course, I’m sure that’s not a recommended way of dealing with moist & itchy either. My husband is to blame for it, he used them too. I’m a bit surprised the fellow doing your audiology check, who discovered the errant bit of cotton, didn’t remove it himself. Or is that out of the job description? Your day sounds like it was productive at least..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Emb, glad to have someone who understands. Yes, I am a repeat Q-Tip offender but sometimes my ears fill with moisture. They clog up my hearing aids which need extra cleaning. Happens every night during dinner. My body temp rises as I eat. My ears clog up and all sounds becomes foggy. Marilyn, sitting next to me, is talking, The Network TV news team is talking, the dogs are barking ferociously in their dinner “Mortal Combat” entertainment. I am overwhelmed by everything, all the sound. I can hear my hearing aids “squish” in my ears. All a prelude to grabbing a Q-Tip.

      Emb, I’d never use a bobby-pin. Even I know that would be stooooopid to use to clean my ears.

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  3. I’m surprised I haven’t poked my eardrum out with the back of a pen yet. Yes, I said the back of a pen. Terrible habit of mine, but it gets the job done. Also has a way of deterring the pen thieves I’ve heard lurk around these parts…

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  4. Sorry for having laughed several times reading your day of trial and tribulations. I do the Q-tip thing too but never as deep as not to be able to retrieve it all. You GOTTA be more careful buddy…. This is no joke!
    Have a good week

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