I haven’t written a blog in quite a while. For this I apologize. Or, depending how you like or dislike my blogs, you’re welcome. I’m been trying to figure out why I haven’t written anything lately. I don’t have writers block. I’ve had that before.
This is different. There are dozens of things a day that I either read about or watch on the news that would normally drive me to a blog. The problem is, any of the things I see that normally drives me to write a blog doesn’t work because I’ve already written a blog about it!
I mean, why write about the same thing I wrote about a year ago? It’s still as current now as it was then. Just repost the old blog. That’s not writing. That’s clerical work. I need staff. I need people. “My people will call your people. They’ll do lunch.”
But then I realized, it wasn’t a show about nothing. Every episode was about something! It was just a good marketing slogan that seemed to make sense. Unless you thought about it.
So, I’m right back where I started. I can’t write a blog about nothing because in order to write a blog about nothing I’d have to write a blog about something. And I got nothing. (Yeah, I know, it’s grammatically correct to say, “I’ve got nothing”, but lets’ get real. Nobody talks like that).
Then I thought, I could go through my notes! I try to write down ideas for blogs as soon as I think of them. Mostly because if I don’t, they’re gone in about 15 seconds. Most fall into the following three categories.
1 – Bad.
2 – Really bad.
3 – Oh my God, how much was I smoking when I wrote that?
But, I also get a lot of ideas that actually turn into blogs. So, I took out my notes.
Here’s one I jotted down on April 30th, 2018 – “Everything new is old again.”
It’s just a much more pessimistic way of saying it. Interesting, but no blog there.
Let’s see what else I’ve got. On April 18th, 2018 I wrote – “Women are taking over. Lysistrata 2.0. Enough is enough.”
Hmmm. It’s worked before. Lysistrata is a comedy by the Greek author Aristophanes. In it, the women of Greece put an end to the Peloponnesian War by denying sex to their spouses until they stop fighting. It worked.
Today, there’s the “Me Too” movement, the “Times Up” movement and the fact that record numbers of women are running for office and they’re winning. Women, this is a tool you’ve always had in your toolbox . And IT REALLY WORKS! It could be the next big movement. Lysistrata 2.0! Think of the signs and slogans you can make!
“Deny your husbands dicks until they stop being pricks.”
It worked in ancient Greece. It’ll work today. But is that whole blog? I don’t know. Maybe.
What else do I have?
On Jan. 25th, 2018 I jotted this down.
“Trump is depressing and destroying real conspiracy groups with all his ridiculous conspiracies. Groups like the Illuminati, The Templars and the Tri-Lateral Commission are freaking out. Trump is way, way weirder then they are.
TEMPLARS: WTF! We’ve been plotting to rule the world and do evil things since the frigging Middle Ages! And this guy blows us out of the water in one fucking year????? Hmmm, again, probably true, but not a blog.
Anything else? Let’s see, there’s a whole bunch more here. But they all turned into actual blogs. Oh wait. Here’s one from Jan 5th, 2018.
“I want to write about new things, but I can’t. I’ve already written it. It’s not Groundhog Day. It’s Groundhog year.
I was surprised to read that. I forgot I wrote it. I only found it in the middle of writing this blog. Great. Here I thought I had an original idea for a blog only to realize I had the idea months ago.
Damn you, category 3.
Anything else? Nope. That was it. I got nothing.
A blog about nothing.
Isn’t that something?