CAN I COMPETE WITH A ZING? – Marilyn Armstrong

My Brain Has Gone Off-Duty


I feel like my brain is too tired to go on.

You know how you feel when your muscles have seized up and you simply can’t walk any further? That is how my brain feels. As if it has walked too many miles and it has had quite enough.

Too much thinking.

Too much planning.

Too much organizing.

Too many bizarre questions to answer.

Too many strange problems to solve.

Too many “on hold” phone calls with no return calls, disconnects, no doctor or practitioner to talk to.

Too many issues to deal with.

Too few answers to too many questions.

Today, I’m crabby, out of answers, and tired of being told to call some other (non-answering) number that will connect me with yet another person who thinks I should speak to the doctor but won’t connect me to him or a colleague.

University of Medicine and roads

So competition with my old zing? It isn’t working today. I lack any kind of zing and frankly, going into a long siege of competition to get hold of the doctor or ANY doctor, is more than I can handle.

I am going to make some coffee. Drink some coffee, and brood on why I hate this hospital, even though they are the nicest people in the world. Hard to be both, isn’t it?

You’d think that.

FOWC with Fandango — Compete
RDP # 53 – Zing

PARENTS HELPING THEIR KIDS THRIVE – BY ELLIN CURLEY

There was an article in the Sunday New York Times a while back that was titled “To Help Kids Thrive, Coach Their Parents.” It was written by Paul Tough and was an excerpt from a book he had written called “Helping Children Succeed: What Works and Why.” The article cited a long-term study that started in 1986 and has followed the subjects constantly to the present.

The study proved that children who lived in poverty did substantially better than their peers, into adulthood, if one simple thing was changed in their homes during their first three years of life. If their parents received coaching from trained researchers who encouraged them to play with and stimulate their infants, for example, by reading to them, singing to them and playing peekaboo, the kids did much better.

Parents were taught the importance of these face to face exchanges in creating attachment, warmth, and trust between parents and children. This, in turn, helped create a more stable, nurturing environment in the impoverished homes, which are usually plagued by stress, neglect, and instability.

blocks

It’s hard to believe that some people don’t know that they should talk to and play with their infants and young children. But if no one ever did that with you when you were a child and no one later taught you how important it is, how would you know?

The impact of this easy and low-cost intervention was off the charts. The study showed that the children who had the play counseling had higher IQ’s, less aggressive behavior and better self-control than the control groups. They also had better ability to focus, follow directions, interact calmly with others and cope with disappointment and frustration. In other words, they improved intellectually, socially and emotionally. All this just by receiving the kind of attention that most of us take for granted every child automatically gets.

dad & baby

It turns out that adults can be taught to create an environment that fosters success for their children. Why isn’t this being done in every poor neighborhood in the world? Or at least in this country?

This is particularly frustrating for me because my father proposed the same type of in-home interventions in the 1960’s and no one listened to him. My father was a well-known psychoanalyst, anthropologist, and sociologist who stressed the importance of the first 3 years of life. He also did a study that showed how little stimulation and affection a large number of black children living in poverty in Harlem, New York, in the 1950’s were receiving from their parents. He suggested doing exactly what the 1986 study did – send in trained professionals to teach the parents how to give their children the kind of nurturing they needed to thrive.

mom reading

Guess who shot my father’s idea down? The “liberals” of the day and the radical Black Panther movement. They said it was racist to assume that black people didn’t know how to be good parents. It was also considered paternalistic and condescending to send (often white) people into black homes to “tell them” how to deal with their own children. My father backed away from the conflict that surrounded his proposal.

smiles for Mom

Now, 50 years later, the idea is being proposed again. Think of all the kids who could have benefited in all these years! With so much poverty, even just in this country, you’d think this article would have been front page news. You’d think that politicians, as well as educators and mental health professionals,  would be jumping on the bandwagon and yelling from the rooftops. You’d hope that large numbers of “family counselors” would be amassing to go in and make a huge difference in the lives of millions of children.

I haven’t heard anything yet. But I’m still waiting and hoping.

mom & toddler

FADED ODDBALLS – Marilyn Armstrong

Odd Ball Photo Challenge


Oddball searching time has come around again. I’m pretty sure I took some pretty odd pictures recently. I’m NOT sure if I processed any of them yet. I might have to do that first!

Tinted dolls in the bedroom
Garry and the Duke
Tinted Philodendron
Tinted books in the hallway
Vines in the dining room against the French doors

All of these are sort of black and white but tinted so there is color, but faded.

 

ULTIMATELY QUESTIONS – Marilyn Armstrong

I got these from sparksfromacombustiblemind – 
EMBERS FROM SOMEONE DOGGEDLY TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL…

She got them from https://teleportingweena.wordpress.com/2018/07/06/friendly-fill-ins-18/ (ghostmmnc)

who got them from https://fourleggedfurballs.blogspot.com/2018/07/friendly-fill-ins.html

Who knows the origins? Not me!

The questions:

1. When it is hot, I _________.

Go out only when I need to go out and depending on how hot it is, I may not go out at all.

If it is also very humid, breathing gets difficult, so I hang inside with the air conditioning. Not ideal, but breathing matters.

2. I am looking forward to _________ this month.

Surviving. This month is going to be bumpy. No matter how I look at it, I wish we could all wake up next October.

Welcome to UMass Hospital

Warning, warning, I’m going to be missing in action a fair bit.

3. The theme song of my life would be _________.

I have no idea. Not a clue. Pick something you like and hang it on me.

4. There is no such thing as _________.

There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Anything that looks too good to be true, is too good and isn’t true. Other ways to put it? When it sounds like a lie?

ex-astris-scientia.org

It’s a lie. When it sounds fake? It’s fake. When your president says he’s going to get rid of your healthcare and give you something cheaper and better? He’s lying.

5. Quick final question: How do you know if Trump is lying?

His lips are moving.