MOTHERHOOD WITH BENEFITS – BY ELLIN CURLEY

My English friend’s daughter, Katie, just had her first baby. She is 37 and has an established career she loves. Because she lives in England, having her baby will not affect her position at work. She gets nine-months of maternity leave and is guaranteed her job back when her leave is over.

For an American, that whole concept is amazing. Women in America are afraid to take the full legal six-weeks maternity leave for fear of negative repercussions on the job.

I’ve recently read that many women in America are choosing not to have children because motherhood would adversely affect their careers.

Women have to fight harder to establish themselves professionally and prove they are as good as the men they work with. Therefore, they don’t want to give up the gains they fought for make by having kids. They shouldn’t have to, but apparently, mothers are routinely treated with prejudice throughout corporate America.

Mothers are not viewed or treated like childless female workers or even male workers with kids. Mothers’ loyalty and commitment to their professions are always questioned.

Corporate life leaves no room for a family life. At least not for women. Mothers in the workforce have a terrible time balancing work and home life. They’re afraid to give any priority to their families, which creates tremendous stress. And hurts families.

There are other benefits Kate has as a new mother in England which American moms don’t have.

The English National Health Service, though stretched to the limit, still offers invaluable services to mothers of newborns. Kate can call an experienced midwife whenever she needs advice. When Kate was worried about nursing, a midwife with an expertise in lactation issues came to Kate’s house. She sat with Kate while she fed her daughter and offered advice and support. This would have been invaluable to me but is unheard of in America. I would have to find my own expert and pay for her services.

In addition, the midwives, as well as the GP’s in England, pay close attention to the new mother’s mental health. They are on guard for any signs of postpartum depression. This is considered a major part of postnatal care in England. Not in the U.S.

The National Health Service also offers something called the Lullaby Café, a place for new mothers to meet each other under the guidance of a trained midwife. The professional is there to answer questions, offer advice and comfort, as the voice of experience. I would have loved to have something like this when I had my first child. Mommy And Me ‘classes’ were just playgroups, not healthcare.

The new moms in my group had to compare notes and figure things out on our own. Truly the blind leading the blind. We also had to pay for our group activities, until we could form our own groups and meet in each other’s homes.

For Kate, her group experience is both free and educational.

So if you’re going to have a baby, especially if you also want a career, you’re better off if you’re British than American. Given our broken and morally corrupt healthcare system, that’s hardly a big surprise!

 

10 thoughts on “MOTHERHOOD WITH BENEFITS – BY ELLIN CURLEY”

  1. In California, if you work for the state, there is a liberal maternity leave (I don’t remember for sure, but I think it might have been a year after birth). It is so liberal that there is wholesale abuse — new moms take the full leave, but accept temporary jobs with other organizations!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When I was young enough for it to matter, there was NO maternity leave in New York. You could take time off at your own expense and good luck getting your job back. It’s why I had my baby first, and went to work AFTERWARD. I am assuming this has changed, but I really don’t know for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I always thought so. I saw what happened to women who waited and how hard it was for them to go back after taking time off. Ironically, by going to Israel, I took 9 years off and that apparently was just fine. Go figure.

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  2. This one area that really needs a lot of help. No wonder there is postpartum depression for many women. They are in this very important role without adequate supports in place.
    Leslie

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    1. I was so thrilled to see how supportive other countries are to new moms. My friend’s daughter feels nurtured and protected and valued. So important for new moms!

      Liked by 1 person

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